


Winter Yield

by LM1837



Category: ATEEZ, Atiny
Genre: Amicus Ad Aras Always, Amicus Ad Aras Right?, Angst, Choi San is a Ballerino, Choi San smells like a paradise, Crumbs of other pairings, Lovers?, M/M, Random kisses, SeongJoong are like a newly married couple, Slow Burn, Snow, The Great Mountain, The Heartbreaker, Woosan, Wooyoung loves flowers, bestfriends, situationship - Freeform, slow build up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:08:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 52,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25918594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LM1837/pseuds/LM1837
Summary: Jung Wooyoung is on his final year of Masters who talks in flower language.Choi San is staging a progressive piece as a Premier Danseur who loves the illusion of scentsWherein a certain season has always been their witness when they act as if they belong to each other but live a life of equivocal state.***Let's just say it's a blizzard of feelings one after the other.You'll love both of them, your heart will ache for both of them, you'd also wish to have what they have.Only if you're also unrelenting like them.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Woosan - Relationship
Comments: 13
Kudos: 53
Collections: the ones i finished but can’t let go





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>   
> From the SeongJoong Fanfic Time of Day, this story will revolve around Seonghwa's closest friends, Choi San and Jung Wooyoung.

Quarter pass six in the morning, and the mid-summer heat is already cruising wildly through the small apartment window. South Korea’s summer can also be humid and awfully hot like those in the tropical countries. They say the hotter the summer the colder the winter gets, or the other way around. It was a lovely Friday morning where most are on their high spirits. It was finally the end of the weekday and everyone is looking forward to spending a restful weekend.

Down at the Mountain’s lair the heat seems to be exceptionally harsher despite the AC being on full blast. Little movements, San makes little movements as he slithers out of the bed. Not wanting to wake up the alcohol fuddled man beside him. Gently landing his foot on the floor, forefoot first, light as a feather. He suddenly gets pulled back.

“Where are you going?”

“Making breakfast.”

“Cuddle me more.”

Wooyoung pleads, to which the other man allows a tight and yes, a somewhat sweaty back hug. The not so sober man comfortably rests his face at the back of San’s neck, nuzzling in, taking a deep breath. San smells like a paradise and Wooyoung loves the way how a perfume soothingly lingers on him. Most especially if it was his own perfume, like he was just his.

“You should get bigger bed San, and a better mattress. A California King sized bed seems fairly decent for us”

Wooyoung slowly closes the remaining distance between his chest and San’s back making the mountain release a very cute chuckle.

“That size? Decent? I will not get a huge bed that will take my room’s entire space. And what do you mean ‘us’? In the first place you are not supposed to be crashing at my place you know.”

San turns around to face a half asleep Wooyoung. His eyes scan the barely sane man. Even with the stench of the alcohol and the disheveled hair, Wooyoung still looks like the lovely coquette that he is. San could not help but put on a childlike contented smile.

“Your place was closer. I didn’t want to go clubbing at Gangnam again. People here have more energy and knows what real fun is.”

Such words were spoken in between lucid dreaming and sleep. Wooyoung has recently been going around bars again, partying, stealing hearts, receiving everyone’s admiration, seeking the approval he loves and showing off how much of an attractive human being he is. And last night, Itaewon witnessed his pulchritude.

“I need to get up. You can stay here if you want and please stop drinking like there is no tomorrow. I know this doesn’t always happen but just try to avoid it okay?”

San mentions as Wooyoung opens his eyes to gift him with a light peck on the lips, followed in by a request of pancakes for breakfast. After such, Wooyoung quickly dozes back off to sleep. San climbs down the bed, moving to the kitchen to prepare their breakfast. He is a master of housework, living by himself for a long time had honed his skills with regards to the domestic life. Taking out the ingredients, he makes sure the milk used is purely non-fat. Wooyoung hates full cream milk just because of his diet. Collecting the items and mixing them all in a bowl, even his movements seemed like waltz. Graceful, poised, and precise.

“Wooyoung, the breakfast is already on the table. Go help yourself.”

He calls out, only to get a mumbled response. And even after San’s quick shower Wooyoung was still sprawled out sleeping. San walks to the side of the bed, lowers himself to give a light pat on the head. He picks up his Bazar Graffiti Shopper Tote by the counter, heads for the door before looking back at the sleeping beauty as his lips wind up into a smile along with his crescent eyes.

Thank God today was not among the usual training days for San, given that on regular days he would already be hitting the studio as early as five in the morning. No training was set for today as the Corps is called for a very important announcement. Despite such, San still had the full intention to make good use of this day. He goes into the lockers and places his new canvas slippers.

A few of his colleagues saw him and greeted him with delight. Being the well-mannered man that he is, San is deeply loved in their theatre. People treasure him. He is very dependable; every single member of the Corps de Ballet is his friend. Aside from being their most sought-after dancer, he was also well known by a lot for his godly looks. People who do not even like the art of ballet come to the theatre to admire and see his performance.

The dancers gather on the stage of the main theatre hall, both a bit preppy and itching to know what the statement for today holds. San stands at the left side edge, with his black beanie on.

“This season will be quite revolutionary and very unconventional. We are doing Swan Lake”

The director announces, earning apparent confused reactions from the dancers.

_*How is it revolutionary and unconventional? Swan Lake is a staple. The Opera has done it so many times.*_

Whispers about the new piece take rounds. People love a good popular piece, but the audience also want something new, something more, something progressive.

“Choi San, you will be the Swan.”

All eyes quickly turn to San as he mouths an inaudible question. He swallows first before finally finding his voice.

“Me? The Swan in Swan Lake? Director what do you mean?”

San could not understand what this meant. Although he has been the Premier Danseur of the Corps de Ballet for quite some time now, he has never really taken the stage all to himself. Given that most of the performances were mostly crafted to revolve around women. San’s eyebrow furrow as he ponders.

**\-------**

Back at the Mountain’s Lair, Wooyoung has just woken up. Knowing the place by heart, he moves to the table even with his eyes closed. He forces them open to look on the pancake, already coated with butter along with a bottle of syrup prepared on the side.

“Yah! he didn’t even make me coffee.”

Wooyoung shouts with a slight hint of frustration. He takes his feet to brew himself a cup of coffee only to stop on his tracks as he reads the sticky note from the coffee maker.

_*Do not take coffee it will worsen your hangover. Take a lot of water for now and grab a bottle of Oriental Raisin Tea from the fridge before you head out*_

Wooyoung returns to finish his breakfast, drinking at least two glasses of water before he proceeds to take a shower. Knowing that his own set of clothes reek the spirit of drunkenness, he picks out a pair of khaki wide leg straight trousers, white shirt and a powder blue cotton blazer from San’s closet. The clothes fit him perfectly, like they were his. He collects his Copernic compact colorblock wallet and Apple phone before heading for class.

> _“Siri call pretty woman”_
> 
> _“Calling Pretty Woman Mobile”_
> 
> _*Rings*_
> 
> _“Yeoboseyo? Eomma? Sorry I was busy with a lot of stuff last night I had to pull an all nighter in the library. Hmmm…. Yes, I’m fine don’t worry but can you have my Ipad sent over to me now? I need that for a presentation. Neh. Thank You. I love you.”_

A sighting of a Jung Wooyoung at campus is always a blessing. Even the undergrads down at Hanyang University tries to track down the classroom schedule of those in the MBA level just to get a glimpse of him. Struttin down the hallway, he gets several hellos from people, and Wooyoung would always always brightly greet back. He plainly enjoys being adored. Besides, he has always been popular ever since high school. Such attention is nothing unusual.

This man is perniciously sexy, inexorably charming, and pleasantly bright to see that people are easily swayed by his sweetness. It somehow gets a bit overboard that most think he is actually a flirt. What makes it worse is the fact that he knows how irresistible he is. Well honestly, he ain’t just a flirt. He is definitely a heartbreaker, his actions can be misleading, and you just can never be sure what runs inside his mind. He exudes the kind of beauty you cannot have. Jung Wooyoung is someone you should never offer your heart to, because he’d take it and dispose of it however he wants. Despite such, people still love to be with him. Because generally he is also a kind and caring friend, just make sure you don’t try your luck to woo him.

Being in his final year in MBA with his financial elective courses, the ratio of his male classmates had turned higher than females and everyone is just as whipped as the rest of the campus for the winsome Jung Wooyoung. For today’s late morning class, Wooyoung had to present a financial case with a throbbing hangover. Alcohol infused yet he thoroughly gives his report. Of course, in between his presentation his smile would cause a tide of marvel to whoever sees it. If you think about it, he was a valuable combo. Wooyoung is not just a fairly made human being, he was also exceedingly good with his studies. Not that he was the best in his year, but he was termed as actually doing great. Ending his report with smug grin, he gets an approving look from his professor. He goes down the podium, passing by the next presenter he locks eyes with her.

“Are you nervous? Why?”

Complete with a full teasing head tilt to the side and a fatal smirk. The woman’s cheeks instantly turned a deeper shade of pink. Wooyoung takes a sip from his hangover drink before slumping back to his chair as he thinks to himself.

_*How come he stocks on these when he never really drinks*_

**\-------**

> _“Yeoboseyo? Oh.”_
> 
> _“What time do you get off from your training?”_
> 
> _“Why?”_
> 
> _“Eomma says she prepared some steak tonight. She just wants you to come. I left my car here at the campus last night. I’ll pick you up later.”_
> 
> _“Is this how you sway people to like you? Picking them up in your foreign car?”_
> 
> _“Why? Do you want me to sway your heart?”_
> 
> _*giggles*_
> 
> _“I’m actually near. I’m in a Café in Seongsu right now catching up with a friend. I have no schedule for today, the director had an announcement earlier and wanted us to take the day for ourselves. I have some news to share too. How about I just go there after your last class and let’s go together?”_
> 
> _“Ok, see me at the library.”_

**\--------**

San is never ever late. A Ballerino should always move in sync to the beat. Same as with his life, San is also always moving right in the rhythm of his goals. Graciously arriving at the library door, he pulls out his phone and sends Wooyoung a message. Five minutes passed and Wooyoung was still nowhere. San opted to search for him inside. Walking around, it did not take long for San to find him. He spots the man at the second floor in the middle of a huge desk, looking intently at a blue book, surrounded with a surplus of drinks plastered with sticky notes. Coincidentally, at that moment Wooyoung lifts his head and sees the other man. San raises his arms open. Wooyoung places the book down and runs into the mountain’s unguarded arms.

“Sannie!”

Wooyoung loves hugs. He also loves kisses and many other more skin ship acts. As always, the brief snuggle was heartening. They get a few shush from the people and some lengthy stares from others. How can you not gape at the sight of two mutually extra handsome men right? Woyoung lightly kisses San on the cheek before releasing the hold as more pairs of eyes venture to see what these two were doing.

“Are these my clothes again?”

“Doesn’t matter. Let’s go go?”

“Let’s go.”

The drive took longer than expected as there were some traffic hurdles down after Seongsu Bridge. It’s quite fascinating that at this generation, Wooyoung‘s family still lives in a landed house of at least 34,000 sqft lot inclusive of a private driveway, a pool, 5 bedrooms and 6.5 baths in one of the richest neighborhoods in the country. And notwithstanding the wishes of his mom to move to Gangbuk to live in a less crowded and more calmly district, Wooyoung’s dad had greatly set his foot to stay at their current home as it was closer to Wooyoung’s University. The Jung’s live in a modern Hampton style home, sunlight filled living spaces, symmetrical garden, French doors, and herringbone patterned wood floors. Quite an extravagance even for the Cheongdam area.

“San!”

Wooyoung’s mom exclaims in excitement as she hugs the young man along with a mother’s touch of a head pat. San automatically smiles. He is led to the dining room as Wooyoung greets his dad with huge bear hug. The table set up was simple, not much fancy table pieces other than a huge slab of medium rare steak, a vintage 2009 cabernet and the fact that all dinnerware pieces were in the tranquil Bleus d'Ailleurs.

“How are your parents son?”

Mr. Jung warmly asks as he takes his seat.

“They are doing fine uncle. Appa has surprisingly stayed the longest in this assignment. I’m guessing ….”

“Appa, stop asking that question. It only makes San miss his family more”

In a very refined manner, San addresses the question but gets cut off. Wooyoung insists on not discussing such a topic and then goes to look at San.

“Oh right, you said you had something to share. What is it?”

Eager beaver who is currently having a hard time cutting his steak dares to ask. San moves closer to Wooyoung as he picks up his knife and fork, gesturing to help.

“I’m starring a new role. And not just the usual Premier Danseur Partner to a Prima Ballerina. This time I really am doing a very vital role. We are doing Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake and I’m going to be the swan.”

San collectedly delivers, not even looking up and still focusing on cutting Wooyoung’s food into small portions. Wooyoung strikes a piece of steak and quickly gobbles it down before reacting to what he heard.

“YAH! That’s the all-male act of Swan Lake, right? The controversial one, right? But why aren’t you the Crown Prince? That’s like the main, main, main role and you’re the principal male dancer!”

Wooyoung hits San in the shoulder, earning a little noise from the great Mountain.

“Our stage will be putting more emphasis on the Swan itself. A creature of prowess and affection, something along those lines.”

San patiently explains that this Swan Lake was not only for men. Characters such as the Queen and the unsuitable girlfriend also play an important role. And to clarify, the piece was more known now as something iconic rather than controversial. The Jungs react joyfully to such great news as they congratulate San to this very wonderful opportunity.

“Yah I should get you a congratulatory gift!! What do you want??”

Wooyoung offers. San only chuckles at this usual scene.

“But speaking of unsuitable girlfriend my dear, are you dating anyone now San? Do you want me to arrange some blind dates?”

“Yeah. We have been sending Wooyoung to a lot of them, but this asshole has such high standards. No one ever passed or rather he never passed any of the women’s standards.”

Wooyoung’s parents bluntly offers. San courteously turned down the suggestion while Wooyoung adoringly negates what his dad said, defending himself that good apples are not easy to find and he is just taking his time examining the whole tree.

The night progresses with a good and hearty family dinner which extended beyond train operation hours. Mrs. Jung offers that the family driver takes San home but Wooyoung reminded them that the driver was on a day off and he will not be driving San home as he had more than one glass of wine. It was simply a tactic to make San stay the night.

“That’s actually a good idea, we do miss having you here. It would have been better if you just stayed with us. Wooyoung is not good with helping me at home.”

The pair moves into Woyoung’s room, which is an entire suite on its own that will make you think it is the property’s master bedroom. San opens the double french doors into the Juliet balcony with the view of the moon lit night sky. He takes a deep breath as his mind wanders; it was so nice having family members around. He has not been exerting that much effort to convey his filial affection to his parents. It had been so many years since he firmly chose to stay in Seoul. Although San sees them every now and then, most of the time on special occasions and on Korean Holidays, but he still asks himself if it was best to stay with them. Lost in his thoughts and the subtle feelings of longingness, a pair of gentle hands swiftly hold him by the waist. The hands travel forward and entwine right at his torso, Wooyoung rests his head at San’s shoulder.

“Eomma is right. We have so much extra rooms here. You could save that rent for a class in Royal Ballet if they ever come here for a program.”

“And see you everyday? No Thanks.”

San teasingly contends. Wooyoung then slowly sways them side to side, their stance getting too cozy. San places his palm at the back of Wooyoung’s entwined hands, lightly patting them. They nestle against each other in pleasant stillness for more than a few minutes, just enjoying the summer night air blending with the Hemlock and Bergamot scent. They would have stayed longer if it were not for San sneezing repeatedly due to the now cold air.

They head back inside, Wooyoung opens his TV as they drop backwards into the bed. It was already the late-night news, the day’s recap. San was starting to doze off and so does Wooyoung. Their sleepy spirits only come to full a swing at the mention of a familiar name over the news.

> **_ “In the entertainment corner, the singer who was in a long hiatus finally makes a comeback. Topping all charts and album sales with his new song and album entitled ‘MARS’. The singer Park Seonghwa is definitely back.” _ **

The two jumps up to look at the screen. It shows a familiar face. Dawning an ash grey hair was their longtime friend.

“Seonghwa Hyung is back?”

Wooyoung asks, eyes round in incredulity.

_**Memories of yesterday come to light every now and then, the joy of today remains repressed because the past had never been addressed.** _

_(If you haven't read the SeongJoong fic Time of Day and would like to know Seonghwa's story. You can read it[here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25446157/chapters/61715347).)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm back! ^_^  
> Thank you for reading. I know Time of Day was emotional/sentimental and a whirlwind of feelings.  
> Winter Yield will still have feels but it'll take a rather day to day normal approach.  
> Still, hold your hearts. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading this. Next chapter will be up by next week. I usually tweet about it when I update the chapter, so you can also know from my Twitter @LM1837.
> 
> Again Thank You so much for giving time to read this. Have a pleasant day. ^_^


	2. Chapter 2

Casually dusting off his canvas slippers, San settles himself at the floor. He slips the footwear and carefully adjusts the straps to lay flat at the front of his foot. He then rests with his legs as open as possible, toes pointed as he reaches for them while working to stretch the low and mid-back. His hips were not on its optimal state when he woke up this morning and so he decided to do a second position spread to help with the flexibility. San gradually moves to lengthen his spine before getting up on his toes to do a final standing second position stretch.

Accoutred in black tights and a white tank top with a physique that seemed too perfect and way too sexy for such a classical dance. The way his deltoids are sculpted to reach his longhead biceps, creating a curve in his arms that are rather shapely than buff; adding that insane waist to which seems like his external oblique muscles were properly trained establishing that splendid V body shape. If Adonis took human form in these modern times, his title of beauty and desire is translated into a work of art that is named Choi San.

The gathering tonight is a special one. A pre-show event is hosted to acquire possible sponsors and some media guests to get the word out about the upcoming season. The program is not heavily structured, the solo stages are decided by the dancer; while the atmosphere is set to remain simple and organic. Thus, explaining the plain clothing of the whole corps like it was simply a training day. San’s piece would be from Paquita Grand Pas choreographed in 1881 by Marius Petipa.

A knock echoes at his door, San opens it and sees one of his colleagues.

“Let me help you with your make up.”

One of his good female friends was kind enough to offer. San immediately smiles at such a kind gesture, as he does hate doing make up until now. San sits by the chair closing his eyes. Focusing on tonight’s agenda, he needs to nail every single move. This would be like the taste test to how San will translate himself to the Swan and deliver the art he has always been deeply passionate about. A good pre-show will set the expectation and the establish the receptive tone of the audience.

“All done.”

San’s friend says. Male dancers wear basic eyeliner as to give their eyes a firm shape without appearing feminine on stage. San holds his friend’s hand, conveying his gratitude. He makes a quick look at the mirror, making sure that even his dance belt is thoroughly placed before he takes on the theater.

Lights off, San places himself at the left-hand corner of the stage. He inhales a long deep breath, holding it in only to be freed the moment the lights hit on. The music starts and so does his heart. Straight back, pointed feet and effortlessly defined arm positions, his knees come down for a demi plie as he starts his act with a jump. San crosses the open space, shooting himself high in the air, light as mist. The crowd’s eyes follow him; every turn, lift, entrechat and grand jeté magnifies the dancer’s magnificence. Not to mention how alluring San’s face change into when he dances. A beguiling expression smears across his face. He fluidly takes the center, catching in a swift breath as he starts on flat foot in plie. He prepares himself for the most challenging turn. San takes on a sequence of fouettés, his supporting foot compresses down and then twists as it comes up back onto pointe, giving rise to torques. His arms sweep open keeping himself balanced while his other leg is kept elevated, straightening itself from the front to the side before folding back into his knee. You can definitely pinpoint how much of a skilled dancer San is. Keeping his center of gravity constant, he manages to maintain his turning axis vertical all throughout the numerous turns. In the normal Swan Lake played by a female, a ballerina makes thirty two fouettés which is a transcendental move. San grazes the stage around for a few more jeté before landing on his foot and coming down to his right knee along with his extended left arm.

The audience applaud him, the media, the sponsors and the members of the theatre. Yes, he is greatly admired. Not a single move was off, like it was calculated and executed right as planned. But what makes it superb is the way San can convert his emotion to a kind of beauty that seeps right into the crowd’s senses. Most can comprehend how hard each step takes, and yet the dexterity and finesse of his movements also cruises down to your body. Like you were the character, like you were dancing as well. A captivating Illusion only he can make.

Choi San, even his name seems adamantine.

The show was successful. San really got everyone hooked with anticipation for the upcoming new piece. Down at the hallway the guests and the dancers mingle in their cocktail attire for a little after party. The casts are called into the podium for a little introduction. After a few good spoken words, San takes a courteous prince bow. And as he gets up, he spots someone familiar at the end of the hall.

**\--------**

The scent of fresh clean cotton and the feel of soft silk paired with a view of the garden through an oversized picture window, if all mornings are this comely then the rest of the day should also bring nothing but decent jouissance. This is the kind of set up Wooyoung rouse into every day. He never really wakes up early. Well, because all his classes start late in the morning, happen during the afternoon and some just right passed dusk. First thing’s first Wooyoung picks up his phone. At least a considerable number of Kakao messages and endless notifications from his Instagram welcome him due to his recent heart shaker selca. He feebly moves on to his bathroom. Passing by his free-standing tub he throws his clothing away but rather; he enters the walk-in shower. Turning on the rain head, he lets the chambré kind of water hit his skin then he stirs an expecting sheer smile.

Down at the first floor Wooyoung’s brunch is ready to greet him. He prances to his mom’s side to give a loving kiss on the cheek before he attacks his dad with tight hug.

“It’s the weekend, and you’re already awake before noon? Are you sick?”

Mrs. Jung, sally in her comment. Wooyoung cheerily takes the bar counter, placing his jacket over the other chair.

“I requested to attend an earlier Saturday class for today because I have an important date later tonight.”

“Well that explains why you are in a suit even on this scorching weather.”

“I look really good in this fit right Eomma? Most especially now that I lost weight. Right? Right?

“You never ceased to look dashing as ever sweetheart.”

Not only were his classmates charmed by him, his professors were also heavily convinced that he is an outstanding kid. Wooyoung’s takes a piece of Kimchi and swallows it down with some good steamy white rice. The Pretty boy Wooyoung has always been thankful for having such a beautiful and doting family. Plus, he is the only child, so he definitely gets all the affection and yes good money straight into his bank account.

“Young-ah, what is this Pride month that ended last month? It’s mentioned over the news.”

“That’s to celebrate and appreciate the impact of the LGBT community around the world.”

Wooyoung quickly clarifies before tucking in the last spoonful of food into his mouth. He gets up, kisses his parents before bidding bye. Just as he was already out of sight, he quickly steps back, popping his head back into the scene.

“By the way, thanks Appa!”

Wooyoung blazes his cute open mouth smile and finally leaves.

“Why is he thanking you?”

“Haha, that kid”

The Jung’s really do adore their son.

Wooyoung’s last class for the day ends just right an hour past mid-afternoon. As soon as they were dismissed, he crosses the hallway to check something at the other building. As normal as it could actually ever be, a parading Jung Wooyoung in one of his best-looking suits, white crisp shirt, a dark tie, with his lightly curled stygian hair whose length rests right in the middle of his cheeks, and a few ear piercings, this man couldn’t get any cooler than this. He reaches the other building and remain at the end of the hallway. Hand on the wall flamboyantly blocking the door while his other hand rests in his pocket. A long black-haired woman arrives and was estopped from entering her next class.

“You need to come with me.”

Wooyoung says in a portentous tone, as he pulls the woman by the wrist. The woman does not say a word as she simply follows suit. They walk a little deeper into the University, to the depts where Wooyoung hides from the ogles of the crowd. Stopping at the backside of the west building, Wooyoung pins the woman against the rugged dark brick wall. He leans his body closer, setting his hand on the wall, enclosing the woman’s way out.

“I know you were here the other day.”

Wooyoung gaspingly rolls off each word direct to her ears. His lips purposely touching the woman’s helix with the last word. Her body tenses as she takes in shallow breaths. A whiff of English Oak and Hazelnut grazes her olfactory senses, the scent being unapologetic, controlling, bereft of anything saccharine and just irrefutably masculine. A scent San had picked for him.

Wooyoung retracts, now looking straight into her eyes. He inclines himself a tad bit closer and he then hears her heartbeats reverberating against his frame. The woman raises her palms into Wooyoung’s pectorals, creating a slim space between them. The feel of the suit upon the skin is a sensation you do not normally get to encounter. Other than the fact that Wooyoung was dressed in a black Kid Mohair Single-breasted Suit which feels so satisfying to touch, you are also feeling the molded muscles of the campus’s most beautiful heartbreaker.

“I don’t know what you are talking about”

“Okay, I guess that’s a good sign.”

Wooyoung teasingly wriggles his eyebrow.

“But just in case, let me just remind you that you definitely didn’t see me and Moonbin here. Okay?”

A sinful smirk erupts in Wooyoung’s face. Withdrawing his hand from the wall, the woman’s stance somehow relaxes. Just then, Wooyoung sinks his pair of lips precariously close into hers, leaving a microscopic space in between, their breath going against each other.

“Just wanted to make sure you understood what I meant.”

Wooyoung walks off, leaving the woman as she fights her knees from giving up. It is not a known fact to everyone how he actually identifies himself. The only people who know it are either San, close people or those that he in fact dated. Reality of it is Wooyoung dates around, a lot. His lovers change ever so often. How do you even call them a lover when not even one makes it into a celebratory milestone?

Reaching the parking lot, he pulls out his phone, places it at the door handle and the car easily unlocks. Wooyoung knows where to make good use of his money. That meant getting an IX3 car to which San’s phone also has access to, except that San’s access is restricted that he cannot track the car from his end.

“Calculate the route to Nambusunhwan-ro”

Wooyoung commands before pulling down the sun visor to change his hairstyle to a more formal slick back flair, looking nifty as always. He looks into the rear-view mirror to see if the brightly colored bouquet is still vibrant and lovely.

He smiles to himself, ready for a good surprise.

**\--------**

The sight of someone familiar sent a rush of feelings into San’s being. As soon as he got down, he runs towards the person, he stops just as he was a few meters away. San raises his arms open. Wooyoung lowers the bouquet in his hand and runs into those inviting arms. They hold each other for some good seconds before San breaks the hug and places both his hands over Wooyoung’s shoulders.

“Yah! Why are you here?”

San’s voice was higher, sounding obviously elated.

“Didn’t the ballet company ask for sponsors?”

Wooyoung raises one of his eyebrows, looking self-righteous. San’s face displays a baffled look. The heartbreaker explains how he has actually persuaded his dad into funding the show in exchange for a few marketing mileages for the chain of malls they own. San’s face change into that of a happy desert fox. It was indeed heartwarming, to receive much support and love from one of his most beloved humans.

“And these are for you”

Handing over a crafted bouquet of three long stemmed plate-like huge sunflowers, Wooyoung’s eyes turn sunnier than usual. San asks him further questions about how and why he got his dad to spend for this sponsorship. Wooyoung will soon handle the group of companies and he will be starting with what he is easily acquainted to and this one was a good opportunity to tap high end markets. Just then another person with long blonde locks approach them. San quickly recognizes the person.

“Sannie!”

They go in for a tight hug and a French greeting on each cheek. It was a friend San met when he went to see a show at The Vaganova School in St. Petersburg, Russia. They exchange words and some little catch up questions. Wooyoung forces a fake cough as if to remind San of his existence.

“Oh yeah, I’d like you to meet my best friend Wooyoung”

San says in his lovely English accent. Wooyoung extends his arm for a handshake and a strained smile. Thankfully, the female friend could not stay long and had to bid goodbye soon after. Growing up where having praiseworthy manners have always been fundamental and being a gentleman that he is, San walks his friend out. He holds the door open with his right hand while his other hand rests at his lower back. Then, he returns to Wooyoung’s side right after, whose eyes have now turned knifelike.

“Why are you greeting her that way?”

“It’s normal in some countries.”

“Well it ain’t normal to me.”

“Chill Wooyoung.”

“Okay, next time I see you I’ll be like this”

Wooyoung abruptly kisses San’s cheeks directly with his lips earning a slight jolt from the mountain. People took notice as they look at the fine pair.

“Wooyoung what are you doing?”

San places his hand over Wooyoung’s arm as he moves them to the side of the hallway not wanting to gather any further attention.

“Why? Are you seriously annoyed with just that? Am I not allowed to do that with my ‘Best friend’ ”

Wooyoung says them with a quote on quote hand gesture on the word best friend. His mood rapidly changed, now he is awfully pique. Wooyoung shrugs his arm to remove San’s hold on him. They tread towards the outside seating, Wooyoung is getting sulkier with every passing second.

“Wooyoung, is there a problem?”

Kindly moving his head to the side looking into the other man’s eyes, San securely hold Wooyoung’s hand.

“Forget it. I’m leaving. I have a better date than you.”

Wooyoung unexpectedly storms out of the area. San has recently noticed the evident decline of his best friend’s patience. Bigger tantrums, numerous mood swings and frequent drinking, this has already been going on for a few weeks. San’s worry escalates, given tonight’s little outburst.

Regrettably, his own mood also drops. Other than the fact that he was tired as he had overworked himself training for his piece, he really made hellacious turns tonight. San walks back to the party. More people congratulate him and offer their indulgent words as they wait for Swan Lake to unfold. He reciprocates each salutation with a diffident smile, the pressure accumulating from within. He goes to the director, asking for permission to leave early. It could be the fatigue, the overwhelming affection, or the disappointment but San truly needed some rest. Plus, he also had something else to deal with.

San’s mom is scheduled to call and discuss some familial matters with him. In his home, he assembles himself by his desk and props his phone in front for a videocall.

“아들! How was the show?”

“좋은 엄마였습니다. (It was good eomma).

His mom asks the usual things, how he has been living, is he eating well and then she showers him with loving words that San totally misses. They discuss about how his dad is doing so well at the consulate, how his mom has finally perfected a souffle and the fact that they were getting older. San was not able to visit them last holiday and won’t be visiting them as well this coming Chuseok. With the given situation, his pining grows heavier. The conversation develops on to more important matters, things San knowingly dreads. His mom appreciates how responsible and dependable San is and she sees the light in his actions. Noticing how San still fails to tackle her concerns, she asks a question that will positively get her son responsive.

“Do you still like Wooyoung?”

San quickly raises his head upon hearing the inquiry. He breaths in, hesitating only for a brief moment.

“Ne.”

In contrast to his previous tone, this time San sounded unerring. With that, his mom does not probe any further. Instead, she drops more caring messages before finally hanging up. The call warmed San’s heart, but it also created more pressing affairs to make a decision on. Everything was piling up in his head, family matters, career goals and even the thought of Wooyoung getting extra temperamental strikes him hard. Well at least for one he knows why his best friend has been extremely off, it was all due to the fact that their Seonghwa hyung is back. And that sets Wooyoung in a discomfited state.

Feebly moving his hand to the desk drawer, he opens it. Forms gone unfilled, decisions left hanging, and actions carried on with doubt, at some point things cannot be further adjourned. 

_**Maybe we can make believe that time is** **just** **an illusion and that reality is merely a dream.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank You so much for giving some time to read this!
> 
> I hope you also took notice of the flowers Wooyoung gives. Well hehe he does talk in the language of flowers.  
> Also, this chapter was more of setting the tone. I had a hard time writing the quite steamy scene of Wooyoung. LOL
> 
> How about we take a step back and learn more things about them?  
> Next chapter is one of my fave ones. ^_^
> 
> Hope you somehow enjoyed this one. Again, thank you. Have a blessed day. ^_^


	3. Chapter 3

Numb mornings on a transitionary period to another season is relatively normal. Wooyoung is not entirely sure if he is actually liking the kind of weather today. Especially not when Highschool is something that he has been recently anxious about. It was the first class-break of the day; he placidly sits under a hibernating tree, well more like a tree going through dormancy. He looks at it, it was taking a long restful chapter. Good for the tree, not everyone gets a break to renew and recharge from reality. He lowers his head and spaces out into the wide school yard; it was dreary and leafless. Things are running fast in his mind, like how rapid he wants the situation to just pass on. Fixing his gaze on the open space, Wooyoung just could not be bothered despite the rather frosty environment. Just then someone rushes to his side, holding a medium sized brown paper bag in one hand.

“You don’t look that bad.”

A young man with an ungainly expression and sparkly eyes speaks. His words sounded half baked. He concernedly takes the space beside Wooyoung, sitting close. Getting the items out of the paper bag, the young man silently glances back to his rumpty looking friend. And with eyes full of worry he pours the antiseptic into a cotton ball. He moves closer, carefully dabbing the damp cotton at the corner of Wooyoung’s lips. To which Wooyoung recoils at the contact but permits it anyway.

“Don’t you need to be somewhere else hyung?

“Here, I need to be here.”

Seonghwa unquestionably replies as he offers a warm and reassuring smile. He continues to treat Wooyoung’s wounds. Today’s set was a tad bit better than last week to be honest. Seonghwa takes out another thing, a sandwich. He gently places it in Wooyoung’s palm, pressing the other man’s fingers close just so he gets the idea that Seonghwa wants him to eat.

“The day has just started, have some energy.”

“Did you make this?”

“Yeah, I made some snacks in case I get hungry later in training and I made some for you too.”

Seonghwa courteously hands the remaining items inside the paper bag.

“What time does training start?

Faintly turning his head on Seonghwa’s direction, Wooyoung asks.

“I always start an hour after class. Hey, eat the sandwich before it gets frozen. Bulk up and keep your strength. You still must enter the agency with me. We debut together right?”

The reminder made Wooyoung’s mood lighter; a little smile befalls from his face. They did promise to achieve their dreams together, to go places together and to be happy together. It was a good memento for Wooyoung given the past weeks have been getting worse. His dad has not been sober in so long. And with such, his father has been appallingly violent lately.

“What do I do without you?”

Wooyoung solemnly asks, to which Seonghwa pinches the bridge of Wooyoung’s nose before answering.

“Stop that. It will never happen.”

We always have that one friend we feel comfortable to be with, like life would definitely be grueling without that one human being. Wooyoung has always been thankful for having his Seonghwa hyung. Most of the time he wishes they were of the same age and same year just so they could be together all the time. Seonghwa then proceeds to share how his yesterday went, he said his vocal trainings were getting harder and he has not been getting better. However, he reiterates that music has been his dream, his life, and his passion. Wooyoung looks at him in reverence as he thinks to himself how he should tease his hyung less, because maybe just maybe he deserves less stress given how kindhearted he remains to him. Even his eyes bring light to dark days.

By the next class period, Wooyoung was still feeling a little drained. Staring out the classroom window, he heard how the sky whirred. Slowly, snow started falling. Falling snow has always been regarded as a becoming sight and Wooyoung takes pleasure seeing how these little white pieces step down from the heavens. Literary works have made snow to denote purity, radiance, and innocence. On some creations, it symbolizes cleansing like it was meant to cover something, leading to a new start, or concealing the truth. Snow also bears with it the implication of sadness, bleakness, and death. For Wooyoung it was a just a beautiful natural phenomenon, nothing more.

His mind takes another round of circles again, looking for options and disembarking at none. Struggling financially, living with an abusive parent, and grappling for a possibility to be himself. His life felt like a total waste. There were no further things to do, nothing to look forward, not a single thing felt material at this point. How can life be so hard and unfair for such a young soul?

The thing about youth is, it feels so hopeful. Like the future can hold so many things you dare to achieve. At the same time, it is such an unsparing phase. You subsist being powerless, given less decisions for your own life and yet the world expects you to be all right. Wooyoung thinks that perhaps the easiest way out is just an abrupt stop.

He leans forward, placing his arms across his classroom desk, burrowing his head in between. Resting his being for a little while before plunging back to a not so promising truth. Their class adviser comes in, he lifts his head but steadies his watch on his desk not even bothering to look forward. Despite his lack of interest, he understood what has been announced. A new transferee from Namhae will attend their class starting today. It was almost winter break but how come there is a transferee? Wooyoung’s mind somehow manages to push that thought amongst other matters. The teacher leaves but not before assigning the new student at the second to the last area, just after his seat. The brooding continues to creep in and just as Wooyoung prepares to slump himself back into his desk, his deep thoughts get interrupted with a light dulcet voice.

“Good Morning. Hi! My name is Choi San. I hope to spend good memories with you, let us get along really well.”

Wooyoung lifts his head, looking at his left side. The lights of the room were peculiarly bright that moment, the first thing he saw was a beam over the transferee’s shoulder. Then, Wooyoung lays his eyes on a boy with eyes curled up like crescent moons combined with a huge incandescent smile. Wooyoung stares at him, while San’s smile maintains a constant glow.

Sometimes, hard days hits us with a blow just so we know how good it tastes when the clarion ones arrive.

**\--------**

It is remarkably hard to always launch a new life. While most people wish to have a clean slate at things, some also loathe the idea of a repetitive start up cycle. Nothing feels constant, every aspect of life just keeps changing. It was undeniably tiring. Today, on a nippy early winter morning San is forced to get up and build a new chapter in his life. He gets up early, making sure to keep his body in check as he stretches. San moves his heels together, toes pointed outwards to the side. Continuing on, he does a series of positions before finally placing his feet pointed outwards, legs crossed and feet touching, with the heel of one foot placed beside the toes of the other and then back to rest. It was another morning on another set of uniform. How many schools has he attended, even San himself has lost track.

The thought of waking up to this day already exhausts him. It is one of those instances that he needed to put on much work yet again to drive his life. New set of people, new environment, new ways, new places and new a venture to challenge serendipity again. As appealing as it sounds, for San it was already becoming vexatious. What is the point of exerting effort of introducing himself and making friends when he is bound to leave again anyway?

Sitting at the kitchen of their new home, San takes his breakfast in silence. His parents already know what probably goes on into San’s mind. Each and every time they move their son only has one question.

_‘How long are we staying there?’_

He does not even bother asking where they will be moving to next. Anywhere, is all the same. As he finishes his meal, he stands up to give his acknowledgement. San takes his padded coat from the chair and turn for the door.

“Thank you for the meal.”

“Son, have a great day. I hope you make new friends.”

The words were meant to cheer his son, but somehow instead of it being a jovial note it sounded more like an apology. San looks back at his father, he summons up all his positivity before drawing a bright smile, cheering for himself.

“Fighting!!”

Despite being in his teens, San has always been treating things with kid gloves. He was very sensitive of people around him. He was tactful but deep inside he was still a kid. In reality, San was still a playful and a light-hearted child. Although most of the time he was kindred to his family’s decisions, he could not help but wish he had some other choice.

Arriving in his new school, he had to go through the usual process. First order of the day was meet his class adviser. And just like the other teachers he previously met, some of them have already gotten hold of the fact that his dad works for the local affairs of the government and that this was his newest assignment. When he was younger, he briefly lived overseas. That one was totally another hard story to tackle. Thankfully, they went back just as he was getting into his pre-adult stage. The adviser ushers him into his assigned class. Walking in the hallway, he needed to gather all his will to introduce himself again, smile and appear as lovable as possible. As they enter the room, San takes a huge deep breath. Introverts never really found the fervor in situations like this.

“Good Morning. My name is Choi San and I moved here from Namhae”

San managed to get the attention of his new classmates, particularly the girls. He was then assigned to take the seat near the back, right after a young man who was looking down at his own desk in a languid manner. After placing his bag on his desk, he suddenly moves towards the person sitting before him. It could be that he harvested too much energy or just a slip of his usual self, but his spirit just willingly spoke.

“Good Morning. Hi! My name is Choi San. I hope to spend good memories with you, let us get along really well.”

He never really takes the initiative to get in touch with anyone on his first day. Nevertheless, for some reason he just felt like it.

Maybe we do recognize people whom our hearts were directed to belong.

**\-------**

Like how milk is to coffee, San and Wooyoung[ look well on each other](https://open.spotify.com/track/3liDoBAc3NGI8tmWUTOAed?si=VR5K9YJqQT61vJhx0fYLlg) like their occurrence in this world was meant to complement each other. Wooyoung was already quite popular in his school even before San came along, he was attractive, talented, and amiable. However, when his great other half arrived his popularity skyrocketed. Overseeing dance performances in their respective year for festivals and school shows, they became the untouchable WooSan couple. Their high school’s most famous and most beautiful pair. The undeniable charms they hold blaringly permeated across the school and into the hearts of many.

Today’s classes were manageable. San and Wooyoung collects their belongings as the bell hit off signaling the dismissal. They have an important schedule to attend to right after school. A few minutes right after the dismissal, they suddenly hear their female classmates shriek in amusement.

“My very rude kids are you ready?”

Standing by the door was a young man with eyes that looked like they dearly hold the universe. Wooyoung and San dashes to the man’s side with a giddy expression. WooSan was a known name. In addition to that, they were also close friends with the stunning Park Seonghwa who was a year ahead of them. Together, their beauty was a death-dealing trio who seemingly leave flower petals wherever they trample on. A beckoning panorama not everyone gets to be a spectator to.

The three makes their way to the distressing monthly evaluations. Seonghwa got a pass but not without a painful note about his vocals that needed great improvement. San did pretty well, his vocals were okay while his dance skills were applauded. This was no surprise knowing he has been doing ballet ever since he was young. Pursuing another genre of dance was fairly easy for him. Wooyoung on the other hand won people with his charisma. In the entertainment industry, people just know when they see someone with an auspicious future and Wooyoung definitely has that ‘it’ factor.

Seonghwa takes the couch the moment the evaluators leave, pondering on his case. Seeing how his beloved hyung was looking down casted, Wooyoung pointlessly sat on his lap. In an attempt to lift his friend’s mood, he acts overly cute to the point of being annoying. Seonghwa was taken by surprise but he could not deny Wooyoung. Honestly, he was such an affectionate friend. Not a dull moment passes when you are with Wooyoung. He was also caring and in his own ways he was likewise considerate.

“Yah! Get off me. You heavy pig.”

Seonghwa declares which merits an overly done shocked reaction from Wooyoung.

“Me? A pig? How dare you say such words.”

“I’m buying ice cream. Do you want some?”

“I want strawberry.”

“See what I mean?”

“Oh Hyung, can you buy a bigger one? I’ll just share with Wooyoung.”

San chimes in with eyes like those of puss in boots. Seonghwa laughs before leaving the room to get them some cheat eating paraphernalia for passing their monthly evaluation. Wooyoung makes friendly relationship with the floor as he lies down, spreading himself as if making snow angels. San playfully joins him, platonic cuddling happening right down at the agency’s training studio.

They stay like that, jokingly talking about mischievous plans and ways to make fun of their beloved hyung. San raises his leg over Wooyoung’s limbs, it hits the other man’s knees and Wooyoung suddenly yelps in pain. They get up as Wooyoung holds his right knee close to his chest. San quickly raises the other man’s pants to look at the right knee. He was not totally surprised but what he saw still got him distraught. Wooyoung’s leg was heavily bruised, most parts of his limbs were turning purplish blue with some barely healing cuts.

San’s eyes shot back to Wooyoung’s face, wanting to ask how this time went. His beaten friend on the other hand was already looking away, he was not in to discuss this matter again. There was nothing more to say, the story goes on, it never changes. San lightly strokes his friend’s arm before heading to get some ice packs. The issue with being a teenager is you are always moving too fast yet too young to drive in full control of your own path.

The Mat hyung comes back a few minutes later, he slowly opens the door thinking the two could have fallen asleep after a long day. Seonghwa takes a peek, only to see a heartwarming scene. His best friends deeply care for each other, like brothers.

“We can get through anything as long as we are with each other. Amicus Ad Aras, right?”

The crescent loving eyes were back and upon seeing such an affectionate look, Wooyoung nods back. San was delicately holding the ice bag against Wooyoung’s bruises. Seonghwa, who was still looking through the opened door releases a sigh of relief as he softly says to himself.

“They will do fine even without me.”

Seonghwa smiles. It was consoling to know someone else will always be there for Wooyoung.

Restless hearts only take a breather when they meet someone who shares the same burden.

**\-------**

Carrying a tray with two cold americanos, wearing a refreshing pastel colored cardigan and with brushed up hair, the man with commendable shoulders walks to the farthest corner of the café. He places one on his side. While he hands the other one to the man across him who was in a very impatient mood, dressed in a plain white shirt and a frayed collar cream jacket.

“You’re lucky I finished my shoot early. Don’t you have any other friends?”

“Yeosang is always busy and always moody too.”

On some days San takes on some photoshoot engagements. Other than being a Ballerino, San also makes good use of his pulchritudinous frame in modelling. Wooyoung takes pride on his best friend being a model, because he was the one that pushed San to do it.

“What was today’s shoot by the way?”

“C to the K underwear.”

“Daebak, is this for Men’s health Korea?”

“Yah! I’m still far from landing a page on that magazine”

San laughs it off, but he does wish to someday be the cover of that well acclaimed magazine. Only celebrities with exquisite body gets to be featured there.

“You know maybe I should model too. You know I also have a great body. You see it all the time. Everything. It’s great right? Right? Right?”

“You make it sound so lewd when you put it that way.”

“It’s just you who’s thinking of it weirdly.”

Wooyoung sips on his drink. He insisted on getting coffee despite the fact that it was already late in afternoon and the sky will soon turn into a golden hue of the sunset. He explains that he needs to finish some reports, work on his thesis and study on some business cases all night, hence the need for caffeine. But first, he wanted to catch up with his San. Both of their schedules will soon be hectic in the next coming weeks, San will begin intensive training for Swan Lake while Wooyoung has requirements to pass before exam season starts. 

“Can you pass this to Yunho on Monday when you see him at your campus. He left that on the last shoot we were on.”

“Okay. I’ll have to search for him though, cause you know we don’t share a lot of classes.”

San hands Wooyoung a gold bangle bracelet. He pulls out his phone after and sends his Jeong Yuyu a message, telling him the bracelet is now with Wooyoung.

> _‘Yuyu, I gave the bracelet to Young-ah._
> 
> _Just get it from him at school okay? ^_^’_
> 
> _‘Thanks Sannie XD’_
> 
> _‘Oh BTW did you see the news?’_
> 
> _‘What news?’_
> 
> _*sends link*_
> 
> _‘This’_

San quickly opens the link. He scans the site. The headlines take him by surprise making him gasp, mouth open and eyes wide. This kind of article is not something you normally see in Korea’s news. He flips the phone to face Wooyoung, who was then checking his calendar notes.

“Take a look at this”

San says with a hesitant tone, unsure whether he should be mentioning this subject. Wooyoung raises his head and leans closer to look at the phone in front of him. He carefully reads the string of words at the top line. His eyes widen upon comprehending what was written.

“Am I reading it correctly? Or am I not sober enough?”

Wooyoung asks, covering his mouth in disbelief. He looks back at the article to double check.

**_ ‘Singer Park Seonghwa Comes Out Gay _ **

**_ and is Now Dating Renowned Producer Kim Hongjoong!’ _ **

Wooyoung and San look at each other, marveling at how things have turned out to be. Seonghwa has avoided them ever since the incident, he was gone for more than a year and on his sudden comeback, this is the kind of news that surface along with it. Wooyoung and San was sure none of them were drunk. This is not something you read so easily from a news site, let alone from two known public figures.

**History already played its part. The Present is moving so we can reach the future.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you're still enjoying the ride ^_^  
> This chapter was one of my favorites.  
> More things coming your way, more things to unearth.
> 
> Next chapter will be up next week. Sorry I do write slow :'( because have along thought process and had to do research for all the details and places I have to insert in this story.
> 
> Thank you so much for sparing some time to read this. Super appreciate it. Have a blessed day ahead. <3


	4. Chapter 4

“Yah…. That guy….. He wasn’t… worth it. I had … to.. dump him.”

Disoriented and terribly irritated, Wooyoung spats his words into the air. All the while San helps him to stand, carefully assisting him towards the bed. It was another episode of a drunk and upset heartbreaker Woo crashing into the mountain's lair. Him being this wasted after initiating a breakup makes it seem like he was the one who got ditched. Well, if there was anything to call off in the first place.

San could not even take it seriously; his friend probably just gave out an effortless excuse for why he was in such a scruffy state again. Did Wooyoung really mean to cause a breakup or he just simply wanted to reprove himself yet again as he comes to be reminded of their dear friend? Wooyoung falls in a heap as soon as the edge of the bed touches him. He looks over to San with barely open eyes, grabbing his arm and pulling him to his side.

“Choi San…. Choi San... Choi San…. Choi San...”

Entangled in limbs and arms, they repose momentarily. It could be the fact that saying San’s name sounds so chic or just a force of habit for Wooyoung to call out for San. Soon enough his spirit drifts to dreamland. Instead of sharing the bed, San decided to move to the living room tonight but not before tucking Wooyoung properly under the sheets and leaving a light kiss on his forehead. He takes out an extra blanket and pillow from the cabinet, gently placing them on his light brown wool love seat. The couch was obviously too short for him. His feet dangles at the end but he makes do with it anyway. San wanted a serene time, at least just for tonight.

The apartment radiates a simple and clean look. When San moved into this place, he knew he wanted a modern Scandinavian Interior. Such was his attempt to battle solitude, particularly meant to counterbalance the long and dark winters. Light-colored walls, wooden-textured laminates, and a gray skim coat finish, it was a snug and comfortable space to be in. No wonder the other man loves to crash in here. In contrast to Wooyoung’s extravagant home and the fact that he is always everywhere, San’s cozy place has always made him feel at ease.

San raises his blanket to his chest, looking into the ceiling, making lungful breaths. His concern over his best friend continues to grow. Knowing how Wooyoung is, it has always been so hard for him to let go, of the past, of feelings and of things that are his. This trait of him has always hindered him, for possibilities, better opportunities, and genuine affection. It is true that Wooyoung is a ‘go getter’, ‘nothing can stop me’ kind of person. However, once he gets a taste of how tedious things can lead to, he holds a step back from monopolizing a risk. And there are a lot of difficulties circling their lives now, indiscernible but they exist. San pushes his worries at the back of his head as he turns to make himself comfortable in the sofa, making way for a restful sleep.

In the earliest of the early mornings, San instantly gets up and prepares for another feverish day of practice. Toast for breakfast, shower, dressing up, checking the indoor plants, and leaving the laundry in auto pilot, all of which he gets to accomplish without taking much time. It was a routine he had long perfected. Despite his feather-like steps, Wooyoung was able to sense San’s figure collecting his belongings and pacing across the bedroom. With heavy vision, Wooyoung grabs San’s waist from behind, wrapping his arms for a warm squeeze.

“Are you leaving already? Hmmm?”

“My trainings always start before daybreak.”

Wooyoung mumbles while San answers back. The reply came off clearly indifferent. San picks up his air pods by the bedside table and places them in his bag, he tries to move forward but Wooyoung’s hold stops him.

“Stay a little longer Sannie.”

Wooyoung pouts as he says his words in his irresistible voice. San was not in the mood for petty little things. He seizes the arms wrapped in his torso and pushes them away with little force.

“Wooyoung you have to stop doing this. You know what I mean. I do not simply exist for your convenience.”

San’s voice came across louder than his usual tone, looking away his eyes were piked and testing. The heartbreaker snickers back. Running his hand over his face. Wooyoung’s annoyed position surfaces.

“Let’s not have this conversation when I can’t even see straight.”

“It never really is a good time for you, which is very unfair.”

“What do you want me to say? Huh? You know we can’t do that San. Besides would you really want to be with someone who actually ruined a close friend?!”

Wooyoung raises his voice. San turns around, facing his best friend with a grim demeanor. The friction was solidly filling the space in between them, sending a tactile sense down Wooyoung’s spine.

“You can’t let things haunt you forever. I will always be here, but you must help yourself too. There’s already food at the table. Help yourself, I have a life to manage.”

San keeps his tone moderate, yet such words were delivered with apparent strain. His chest steadily heaves up, taking as much oxygen as he can to pacify his sense of outrage. He walks to the exit and closes the door with an intentional thud.

Deserted to his being, Wooyoung closes his eyes and plops back into the bed. Affronted and frustrated, he throws a punch against the air. This morning is not as comely as his customary ones. The upcoming sunrise will also certainly be troublesome. [𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞](https://open.spotify.com/track/0Hijswm0F2WNL0vN5e4CyE?si=tOFZc4EsTfuGKU5z16mltg)

**\-------**

The low temperature was apparent, indicating that that the new season is just right around the corner. San places his airpods in and picks [Sia’s Bird Set Free](https://open.spotify.com/track/6MowG7MRVgPfGlCMsXKMJ2?si=jkMi-3oIStyqio5cJR8s2g) on his phone. He looks up, the sun has not even risen and yet he is already out to festoon his ambitions. San waits patiently for Bus 406 at the station heading for Seocho district. As the bus arrives, he hops in and sits by the first seat at the second door. Today’s morning had started off tensed and agitated, he hopes that such a mood will not affect him on today’s piece.

Dancing for so long, his ardor has only grown. If not, well it only got more ambitious. Ballet, being one of the hardest arts to ever take motion. San had always been eager to make himself a masterpiece. Dreaming of putting his name in the future alongside Sergei Polunin and Wendy Whelan; or contrive of being choreographed for by George Balanchine. Well of course the latter wish is already impossible but just the thought of having a piece made for you because you sparked that creativity, makes San delirious in his fantasy.

As soon as his foot hits the theatre complex, it all becomes automatic, a routine follows suit. He walks to the lockers, changing into his usual outfit for training. He swiftly pulls up his black tights, adjusting and fitting them well. Then he slides into a pale green lose muscle top, that ostentatiously draws attention to his magnificent deltoids. On some days he ties his shirt in a knot, serving a feast for the eyes. On occasions when he trains by himself on late hours, he goes with just the tights and nothing more. It was certainly the best view but surely a rare sighting. San checks himself in the mirror. Standing tall, people around him probably question how often the heaven produces a fine creation that is Choi San.

Kicking off with the stretches and the usual positions, the director moves on to lay out the finale scene of the Swan lovingly dancing with the Prince. Not only was San endowed with the beauty to dance, he was also blessed with fast pick up. Comprehending the steps fast and correctly, was always a mental note he tells himself. He focuses more on having these steps emanate the story and that is where he takes his time. In addition to his professional ethics, he was not only concerned about himself. San is mindful of the whole team as well. He always makes time to help around and today he supports on with the herd of the swan scene.

“We’ve been fucking up this lethal routine and you never ceased on monitoring and helping. Where do you buy all that patience? Do you ever get frustrated San? Because seriously, I’d be annoyed at this point.”

One of San’s colleague was curious enough to ask.

“Yeah. Well, when I cannot do it as planned or how I want it done. I get frustrated too.”

Lips in an adorable pout, San answers. His pair of hands resting in his waist.

“How does a mad San look like? I can’t even imagine.”

“He probably attacks them with a kiss and a huge hug. That’s how much of a good boy our Sannie is.”

Another one of his colleagues joins the conversation.

“Yah! Stop this instance.”

San raises his voice, only to crack up with an innocent giggle and reveal himself as a joke. He gets a loving arm draped across his shoulders while his precious cheeks get a slight pinch. Skills can be acquired but a heart to do things? It is a luxury not everyone can pay for with money.

The practice takes long and tiresome as usual. They say it is when you ‘re already tired that you get to further develop yourself. The schedules are over but he is running on his piece once more. San wanted to check himself and make additional notes. Another développé, a jeté and a graceful temps levé, each shift breathes an air of elegance. Just as he was about to rerun the same routine, San gets called to the side of the studio.

“Another one came in today San. You should really sort this out soon.”

The director stretches out his arm to hand a sealed white envelope. San reluctantly takes it and shoves the item to his back.

“감독 감사합니다 (Thank you director)”

San takes a full folder bow with his hands gestured like that of a prince’s stance. He does not say anything, instead he turns on his heels to leave the room.

**\--------**

The sky had been casted with a navy blanket embellished with a few visible points of light, it was dark when San came into the theatre and it was the same when he left. He was already running late for home, granted he had to go near Insadong to pick up some documents. Walking down to the main road San notices the lights at the Cheonggyecheon, his eyes marvel in awe.

“Oh, it’s the lantern festival already?”

Taking the stairs and down into the area itself, San makes time admiring the scenery. Cheonggyecheon is one of those attractions that are simply inspiring. It was part of the urban renewal project that geared into restoring the stream that was once there during the Joseon Dynasty. Its beauty is definitely a must visit for tourists and locals alike, more importantly when they hold festivals. San passes under the main bridge and over the skipping stones in the middle of the stream. Hopping on one stone at a time, he gets carried away as his inner ballerino and child-like excitement takes his consciousness. He leaps on to the last stone, making good use of his long legs to do a sau de chat. Sadly, he misses the stone by just a bit. On the bright side though, it was shallowest area of the stream. The water was not even half an inch deep. San lands on his forefoot; gentle, light and almost lyrical like a falling feather. The water did not even splash at the contact, although he still got his shoe wet.

San sits by the side, taking out some tissues to dry his foot. His mind takes a rest with the view of people passing by, the sound of the water running, and echo of nearby music. Even with the many little things happening around, San empties his head. Looking down at the flow of the stream, he takes another deep breath.

“Choi San…. Choi San…”

He tells himself, insouciantly. It was like his mouth just wanted to remind himself of who he is, voluntarily and without much thought. His blank state of mind did not stay empty for too long. Soon enough his thoughts drift back to his usual concerns, his career, his future, and his relationships with people.

They say a Ballet Dancer dies twice. First is when they give up dancing, the second being how life normally works, actual death. He wishes that only the latter will ever come to him. Dance was his way of being himself. San cannot imagine not doing what he enjoys, or rather excelling in what he does. When he had to move places, ballet was something that he gets to keep constant for himself. San’s endearment overflows, even in his field of work. Some get themselves tangled up in passion and pressure that they end up ruining what they love. This was not the case for San, he has kept himself compelled to do better so his desire and determination can surely blossom.

And in the deedful pursuit of this happiness, San still finds the future like a labyrinth. It was complicated in design and planning as it links many carefully arranged elements. We all feel the same, in different life stages we arrive at this judgement. No matter how much we plan our life, not everything turns out as we expected them to be. Unduly worrying about tomorrow does not relieve us of today’s burden. Rather, it only pours us out of the day’s fortuity. Thus, making us miss all the chances and good turns we could have lived. San knows this fact but cannot help but torment himself.

Relationships flow and transverse in different depths and ways. We may bump into significant people during circumstances we loathe the most, or possibly they may stray away from us during a golden opportunity. Human emotions are fickle. The world has always laid that notion. But a great mountain does not adhere to such. Our emotions make us who we are, it also drives us to who we wish to be and who we want to be with. San believes affection should be unyielding. It should be unconditional, and it should always stay true.

After pondering, San walks further down into the stream and stops around Samil-daero. It was late and he has not taken his dinner yet. He usually prepares food at home but since it was way pass dinner time and he was actually craving for some chicken, he decided to stop by one of their favorite chicken shops. This is the usual shop where kdramas film their chicken product placement, their good friend loves it.

Waiting in line San, wonders if he should buy a whole chicken box or just make do with a Golden Olive Chicken Platter. Before him was a tall man ordering a whole chicken box for takeout. Focusing on his order, San moves forward. And just as it was his turn their shoulders lightly hit the other. San bows for an apology only to realize something as he lifts himself up. The man was wearing a Nylon Bucket hat with an Enameled metal triangle logo and a black face mask. Looking at him in surprise, those eyes, they register in San’s mind. They were clear, like a beautiful night sky, like they hold the cosmos.

“Sannie?”

“Hyung? Seonghwa hyung?

****

**_The thing with human affiliation is, it ain’t like a contract. In life, a breach does not enable you to easily terminate the whole relationship._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellow! Thank you for reading!  
> I've incorporated actual areas and details of Korea. Even my most favorite stream, that I always pay a visit to when I take a trip. Also the chicken restaurant, I miss the chicken there.
> 
> Hope you're still in for this winter ride. A little quarrel is fine right? (hold ur <3) hehe  
> Next chapter, more people will join the scene.   
> Also Woyoung's photo for the season greetings was just sooo coincidental. The yellow flower though <3 XD  
> Again, thank You for reading and giving time for this piece.  
> Have a blessed day ahead. ^_^


	5. Chapter 5

“Sannie?”

“Hyung? Seonghwa hyung?

San’s eyes were huge with disbelief. He was not expecting to bump into his hyung, not in a chance like this and absolutely not in a public place. Seonghwa is still a celebrity, he should not be wondering around by himself.

“Hyung is that really you?”

San blurts out another question to which Seonghwa lowers his mask. The popular singer reveals an awkward smile, the kind San is fully accustomed to.

“It’s me San!”

With beaming lips, Seonghwa affirms his identity. The mountain is very familiar with this tenderness and for that moment San realized how much he missed it, how much he had longed for his dear Seonghwa Hyung. He reciprocates the bright gesture with his moonlike eyes and an openhearted grin.

They take a seat at the second floor of the restaurant, into the table at the remote corner. This sudden encounter gets them both euphoric and at the same time it makes them feel like skating on thin ice. Sitting in flustering silence for at least half a minute, San fakes clearing his throat. Seonghwa takes it as a sign, being the hyung he should always be the one to take the lead.

“How are you doing Sannie?”

Seonghwa was hesitant but thankfully his tone came out light and doting. The sound of it made San question how he should be reacting. Even though he has always been acting in good faith, San still feels guilty over how things ended up for them years ago. With a bit of hysteria in his being, he takes a sip of his cola.

“I’m doing very well hyung and I’m really happy you’re back. We have not heard a single thing from you ever since … and no posts turned up on any of your sns. I kept checking your fancafe as well but there were no updates.” 

“You are still part of my Fancafe?”

Seonghwa jokes with a sunny closed mouth affiliative smile. The singer never fails to make people feel at ease with him. With that note San brushes his hair up as he lets out a precious tee-hee, the sound ringing into his hyung’s heart.

“I love being a shine star. How about you hyung? How have you been holding up?”

“Better than I expected to be honest. I went for a long vacation and found myself wanting to continue on this journey again and after that I received focused professional help too. I know you must’ve have been worried when I just disappeared. I’m sorry...”

Seonghwa takes a momentary pause thinking whether or not he should shoot the pressing topic he had long left open. He looks down, fingers fidgeting as he gathers himself, his feelings, his sanity and his solicitude before resuming on his words.

“I am really sorry. I’m sorry for whatever I did back then. I deeply apologize for how I acted. I did not mean to hurt the two people that meant so much to me. I did not mean to say such words. I’m really sorry Sannie.”

Unfolding his feelings, Seonghwa’s words came off being self-reproachful. Under the same revelation, it also detonated the self-destructive bomb he had been carefully bearing. San puts forth his palm, placing it above his hyung’s hand and lowering his head to look into his now downcast hyung.

“Hyung, please don’t think that way too much. We were also at fault. I’m also really sorry. It was such a complicated situation back then. No one really knew better how we were supposed to react.”

The reassurance that San offered earned a sigh of relief from the hyung. Both of them felt the pain over the untold affairs and going-ons they had before, but they also felt the comfort of knowing they are now on the same page. Time heals all wounds, but only for those who are brave enough to accept and absolve the past. They relieve themselves of all the restlessness whirling inside.

To lighten up the sudden pensive mood, Seonghwa offers a TMI.

“If it makes anything easier and more comfortable, I’m actually with someone right now.”

“Oh yeah! I actually heard the news, and I couldn’t be more delighted for you hyung. I’m glad you’re healthy and happy. That sets me at peace, really.”

“It’s quite tricky though, being with someone. Maybe you can teach me more about this couple life, I bet you and Wooyoung are doing perfectly well. I could use a few tips and tricks you know.”

He paints a smirk in his lips, which was more of trying to make himself look cool rather than show a mischievous vibe.

“We aren’t together. Wooyoung is just everywhere.”

“It didn’t turn out well? Even after that?”

“You know how he is. He never really believed in making a commitment. Other than that usual Wooyoung thing, well, he still faults himself for how things turned up for you.”

San’s words pulled a pinch into the other man’s heart. Wooyoung is their beloved friend. Seonghwa wants him to stay as bright and cheerful as he has always been in his memories.

“Maybe we could remove one issue of his? Should we close this chapter and move on?”

Seonghwa’s overture sounded extremely inviting and comforting. San smiles, free of worry, thinking of how much Wooyoung would benefit from this. No more wasted nights, no more sudden mood swings and optimistically have some extra hope for better coming times. They chit chat and catch up over missed instants and future happenings. Seonghwa was thrilled to hear that San will be doing an iconic ballet piece and promised his friend that he will be there at the opening of the season. On the other hand, San was curious how Seonghwa ended up with the highly esteemed producer. The older brother giggles as he gives out snippets and parts of how his past year came about. Both of them we’re savoring the time they’re sharing. For the longest time it was just three of them who coursed through the hardships of life together and having Seonghwa back was nothing but purely soothing.

As they bask in their time together, a man approaches them. Small faced, in navy blue sweater that features raglan sleeves embellished by an oblique jacquard stripe and an eye-catching ultramarine hair, the man looks at San before looking at Seonghwa as he opens his mouth to talk.

“Sorry to interrupt but Mingi just called asking on our whereabouts and so I came to check on you. I see you suddenly got a date.”

Hongjoong adverts, drawing their attention to him.

“Oh! You’re here. Sorry, I bumped into San.”

Seonghwa stands as he gestures to introduce them to each other.

“San this is Hongjoong, my boyfriend. Hongjoong this is San, I have mentioned him to you a number of times. He’s one of my best friends”

“Pleasure to meet you, San.”

“The pleasure is mine Sir.”

Hongjoong presents his perfectly proportioned smile with an extended hand. San takes the handshake following it up with a courteous bow to which he gets a light smack on the arm for.

“Yah, don’t be formal like that. I’m only a year older and Seonghwa’s friends are my friends. Just address me like how you address Seonghwa.”

“Ah, we call him Pabo though.”

They laugh at the remark as Seonghwa raises a cute tussle over San’s words. This easy and amicable setting was a thriving environment and San’s heart rejoices in it. Friends are gifts we personally choose for ourselves.

\--------

Some days you start off with the wrong foot, but life has its ways of putting twists and turns. You just never know where the time of day will lead you to. Wooyoung’s morning did not quite start on the sweet note he expected it to be. After San left the apartment, he didn’t even bother to eat the food his best friend made for him, didn’t even steal clothes from San’s closet nor did he want to wallow with how they got into another mini fight over similar issues. His day was quite long as well. In the morning he took off from the mountain’s lair and picked up his car from the parking lot near the club and proceeded to go home. The remaining mornings and early afternoon were spent studying for his classes. Around High Tea hour his classes started which ended late into the night.

Driving back home, Wooyoung syncs his phone with the car and plays his favorite “Spring Day” from BTS. When he was still training to be an idol, this massive group was already the talk of town, and they seized his heart with songs that related to his harrowing youth.

_“How much more do I have to wait?  
How many more nights do I have to stay up?”_

The song continues to play while Wooyoung sings along. What could have been his life if he pursued the career path of being an idol? Maybe all three of them made it, maybe they could have ended up all in one group. But Wooyoung also believed that life is planned by a higher force and that his timing is always perfect, never early, never late. Steering down Enju-ro a series of Kakao notifications mushroom up into his phone, blocking the sound of the song. Wooyoung sneers in annoyance, he carefully clicks open his phone. All the new messages from a multitude of people were the same, it only had one topic. A sudden outpouring feeling flows into him. The traffic lights hit red and he takes advantage of it as he types in to contact San. 

> _“What the hell was that Choi San?”_
> 
> _“What are you saying?”_
> 
> _“This?”_
> 
> _ *Candid photos of San and  _ _ Seonghwa hugging while Hongjoong  _ _ Stands at the side smiling* _
> 
> __
> 
> _“I bumped into Seonghwa Hyung!_ _He was so happy to see me!_ _I missed him!”_
> 
> _“Do you know how that makes me feel?”_
> 
> _“We should meet up with him Young-ah.”_
> 
> _“I’m not doing that.”_
> 
> _“You have to move on Wooyoung._ _People have already moved on.”_

There was an interval after San sent the message. Wooyoung throws his head back to control his ire. Rocking his head backward, he hits the call button and the call directs into the car’s audio.

“Yah! Why were you so chill and all about it? Did you forget about everything? Huh?”

“I remember everything very clearly. But it’s time to progress with life Wooyoung. You should do the same. Forgive yourself. You need to help yourself.”

“Just because we share a few feelings for each other doesn’t mean you get to tell me how I should live my life. San, we aren’t a couple.”

The spite in Wooyoung’s words and the restraint in San’s tenor was stifling, up in their throats with barely air passing. Not one of them was ready to give up their point. It takes a moment for San to respond, and he starts it off with a long sigh.

“Right, we never were and Seonghwa hyung is not your ghost. You shouldn’t allow any of your past to haunt you for so long.”

“I’m just not ready yet San.”

“When will you ever be ready?”

Wooyoung’s voice was somehow subdued. Just then, the traffic light signaled for a go. He places his hands back on the wheel but could not answer back. What San said was true and advantageous. But Wooyoung could not bring his head to wrap around the fact of actually doing it now or any time soon. A little more tension filled silence and then San hangs up. Wooyoung pulls up to the side, hitting the steering wheel with his hands, frustrated, livid and confused.

Sometimes outside force ain’t the only thing that drives us mad, some go into an unascertained state because of their own sentiments. And it could be that as Wooyoung runs warm tears at the side of a huge road knowing it was his penance and the duress he had levied into his own persona that prevents him from having his peace.

**\---------**

Incandescent monolights, a silver umbrella, reflectors, and endless shutters; San takes a breather from today’s shoot. He looks down on his phone, checking if there was any important message. Truth be told, there was really no particular message he was waiting for. At this point there were a number of things that can actually spring up in his phone and just magically be that important message. Just as he was swimming in his thoughts, he gets a light tap on his shoulder.

“Yah thanks for passing my bracelet back to Wooyoung.”

“How can a retriever not retrieve his own stuff? Wasn’t that your fave bracelet?”

“No actually. Thankfully it wasn’t”

Yunho takes the seat beside San, allowing the mountain to playfully squish his cheeks. The giant man chuckles at the touch. If San was a ray sunshine, Yunho was the sun. The spirit these two have when they decide to play around is immeasurable. San had just finished his frames and is resting before he takes his leave, while Yunho is on a little ten-minute break. Today’s shoot was edgy and free. The posture and demeanor they staged were agreeably becoming. San’s eyes were razor-sharp, befitting his fatal gaze. While Yunho’s liquid eyes were coy and completely consuming, quite a contrast from his normal self.

“How is Wooyoung at school?”

The curiosity got the best of San, wondering how his beloved one has been acting inside the campus.

“The usual. Very cheerful, really hyper and unsurprisingly still everyone’s favorite. The last time we hang out in campus he mentioned your Seonghwa hyung is back.”

“Yeah. The truth is, Wooyoung has been throwing bigger tantrums and that’s probably one of the reasons why. We recently got into a misunderstanding again.”

“And as usual you’re there to be the dumpster of all his emotional baggage.”

Ting! Yunho’s words, it made San feel like he was in a gameshow and someone just gave him the right answer. San details again how and why he must carefully maneuver around Wooyoung, given how his trauma has severely affected him and his fear of authority. That getting mad at him would only worsen a situation. Sometimes it also strikes Wooyoung in a way that he tends to have a compulsive personality and sadly he also goes into some emotional confusion. Regardless of such, Wooyoung has always been genuine towards his friends, he never feels embarrassed to show how affectionate he is and being with him is refreshing. He is never a dull moment kind of guy. Silence doesn’t exist when he is around, and his charm is just simply addicting. Something San truly enjoys.

Loving him seems to be mandatory, no one can resist him. He is also the type to be extra happy for other’s achievements, not to mention how supportive he is over everyone. Wooyoung was indeed a good friend to have. The downside however is, it is unfailingly a skirmish to get things sorted out when it involves relationships, real and serious relationships. And with such, San has been feeling a little overwhelmed with this same dilemma.

“It’s just that sometimes I get frustrated and sort of raise my voice, which I know I shouldn’t be doing.”

“Unless both of you are actually ready to DTR, you’ll always be in a situationship”

Yunho’s use of terms merits a raised eyebrow from the mighty mountain.

“You know, situationship! When both of you are like friends because you understand and care for each other so well and yet you do things a real couple would do…….”

He stops on his explanation parade to give two naughty winks with a slightly distorted open mouth smile. Then continues.

“BUTTTTT!!! You're not in a committed and serious relationship with each other. Then you repeatedly ask yourself, ‘Bro, what are we?’. You know, when you just have this romantic attachment but you also wanna protect your good friendship. That my man is a situationship and you are living the dream.”

The comedic and very animated way Yunho explained it made San laugh instead of feeling bad for himself. As they carry on with their eccentric discussion, the stylist approaches San. Apparently, San was still wearing the rings he wore for the photoshoot. It tickled Yunho’s interest to pry on San’s ring finger size.

“Size 9. I have normal fingers unlike you. You’re a titan.”

San takes another pinch over Yunho’s face before bidding goodbye. The photographer had indulgently complimented him over today’s photoshoot, saying he must have wanted to get off work so bad that he did so well in such a short time. San does not do things halfhearted. Either he pours his whole soul into what he does, or he does not do it at all. Go hard or go home.

Knowing how it was just in the late afternoon, San resolved to drop by the studio and do his thing. With an eager heart, prominent dreams and iron-willed determination, his night has been decided to be another draining round of practice. The frightening thing about youth is you have an insatiable appetite to do and achieve so much. At the same time, the reality of knowing how far of a journey you still need to undertake draws a veil over the present. Making you believe it’s routinely an inopportune moment. San knew that for his age he was still a few more years away from the prime era of a Ballerino. However, his avidity to dance for a very long time and to achieve top class status fast and at an early career phase was overpowering.

When he first started this passion for dance, he was not good enough. He was far from acceptable, most people thought he was only on this dance class because he was a son of a diplomat. And as most kids of parents under such profession, they were equipped to have exceptional manners, outstanding skills and keen preference with art.

San learned the hardest way that in ballet, prodigy is not something you want to be labeled as. Prodigy are not the ones that take the spotlight. Those who have the heart for this murderous craft and those who stay disciplined get the top spot. He has always believed that discipline is key, discipline gets you to places and yes love too.

Mounting his camera at the far end of the studio, he needed to record tonight’s routine. He closes his eyes, channeling his inner swan. San wanted to better interpret and understand his character. Bourne’s Swan Lake was created four years before he came into this world and has only seen it once in his life. It was a tale of a prince with a modern life. Tyrannized by his royal mother and her machiavellian press secretary, he was not entitled to have his own emotions. In the story, the Prince meets the swan. The representation of the Swan was everything the prince needs but can never have. At the last act, in the Prince’s death it was the swan that was there devotedly holding him in the afterlife. The creature was the desire for freedom, an ethereal savior that holds unconditional affection, beauty, and splendor.

San moves around the studio, spreading his wings in magnificent motion. Leaps, loops, and shifts, each one was enlivened with his tenacious blood while his expressions were fueled with volition. An Arabesque, Développé, a breath-taking Attitude and a well poised Temps levé, if San was an angel his wings were probably clipped in his ankles. The lightness in his flow was really stimulating. He moves on to practice his ever so favorite Fouettés, he wanted to break his record and see how much more he can do. Putting on physics and skill. He starts his turns, well balanced with a faultless vertical axis. If his hyung had the stars in his eyes, San’s will had persistently carried the fire.

On his twenty-nineth turn, his hips suddenly acted up. There was a surprising clicking or locking sound coming from his lower body. He fights the odd circumstance. Although, on his thirty third turn a piercing pain courses along his groin. San staggers back, stopping his trance, falling to the floor and holding the burning area. The smell of the cold floor dripped on with his sweat reminds him of one thing, his determination. That San would only fall dead on the ground if he had already done his best, when he had already exhausted all his being. But him buckling down tonight was a different case.

He takes deep breaths to manage the situation, orbs of sweat started to form bigger around the temples of his face. It took him a good minute to ease the feeling. He positions himself to sit on the ground. And Like falling bricks, all of his dismay and resentment crawls back into him. San strikes the floor with a thunderous slam. He runs his hands over his face, irritation and disappointment slathers his expression. How come plans never turn out like the way you have arranged them to unfold?

From a distant table and without a warning his phone resonated. 

**_To trust the people you love is facile, but to trust your own self is a dispute you arbitrate on your own._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI!!! Thank you for still reading!!  
> Just realized how much more this fic will have as I re-read my drafts.  
> So please hold your heart ^_^
> 
> Also just wanted to be clear that I am no Ballerina. But I do love Ballet.  
> Next chapter will certainly be by next week. And perhaps how about we dive deeper for Wooyoung's persona? XD
> 
> Again thank you so much for giving this some time. Please leave some thoughts if you have any, kind words make me happy. <3  
> Thank you and have a blessed day ^_^


	6. Chapter 6

The season was positively moving, the gentle rays of sunrise peaking from the aesthetically large windows were even softer than the usual. Chillier winds, calmer skies, and stiller grounds, if this season’s morning were feelings Wooyoung would be greatly thankful for it. It was unusual for him to be awake this very early and on a day which he does not even have a class. Somehow his corporality just wanted to be aware of his surroundings. Or it could also be the fact that despite his super comfy cloudlike bed covered in pure Mulberry Silk, he could not fully take his sleep in peace. The past strenuous days were furrowed, like there was a hitch in his throat, like there was something he needed to accomplish. And it was not his class requirements, those were easy but yeah still time consuming.

Usually when he opens his eyes the first thing he does would be to check his phone. But this morning was unlike the others, like he needed a more reposeful time for himself. He has always been the type to take his time, to give it more thought and to assure the outcome before diving in. He never takes a fight if it only meant losing.

Wooyoung stay motionless in his bed, laying on his stomach, listening to his own breath as his cheek was pressed against his Italian quilted pillow. The last time he had been awake this early on a Sunday was back when he was still training to be an idol. The memories were still warm and clear in his mind, like they only transpired just a few years ago.

_ Seven Years ago _

“Okay, who wants the Banana Milk?”

“ME!”

“ME!”

The way Wooyoung and San said the same word was in perfect sync, the tone and duration was not a note short. Such a scene makes Seonghwa smile. Having younger friends was inspiriting, the two crackheads were finally in their senior year while Seonghwa himself was supposed to start on his Cyber University course, meant to support his musical career.

“Don’t worry I got us all Banana Milk.”

“Then why do you need to even ask us Hyung?”

San pouts, feeling played. It was already late afternoon, the sun was on his way down giving a clear path for the luring moon. They all gathered by the nearby park of their neighborhood because Wooyoung called for a meeting. He mentioned it was a very important one. San, Wooyoung and Seonghwa were lined up sitting by the swing, sipping on some good sweet Banana Milk.

“Do they make non-fat milk of these?”

Wooyoung’s trivial question sends his hyung somewhat choking on his drink while San looks at him in disbelief.

“Where did that thought come from?”

“I don’t know. I was just wondering because my tummy functions better when I do not take full cream milks.”

“Anyway, why did you call us here for? Is there a problem with your stepfather?”

Seonghwa conscientiously presses the question. It was not that long since Wooyoung’s abusive father passed away and how quick his mom got re-married a year after. With such, their beloved friend was never again seen in a battered state, no more bruises, no more cuts, no more injuries. Wooyoung’s pretty face became more prominent. He rests his milk down in his legs, cupped in between his uneasy hands before he goes into his agenda.

“There’s no problem at home with my new stepfather. As a matter of fact, they are working on my adoption papers. He wants me to have his name.”

Wooyoung’s eyes were seriously fixated in his drink and even with such joyous news. San stands up from his swing and smacks his friend on the arm.

“Yah! That’s great news! But you don’t look thrilled at all.”

Wooyoung quickly finishes his milk before replying to San. Looking at the mountain then to his hyung, he starts to lay down the details. He was truly happy that his stepfather is tenderhearted and is very nurturing to him. Aside from that fact, his new father was nothing short of being old rich, well both old and hella rich. It all seemed like he was in a fairytale and not everyone gets to have this fate. Wooyoung recalls being in an abyss of despair, like nothing will ever be fine, and this second chance was something he never thought of actually having. It is for the same reason that Wooyoung wanted to make it up to his mom and his new father. He did not want to be greedy and covet more than what he already has.

“I need to drop out of the agency. As elitist as it sounds, I need to focus on being an heir.”

The pause was heavy, Wooyoung did not mean to pour cold water on their friendship goals.

“I’m really sorry guys. I’m really really sorry.”

With fiddling hands that has now dented the milk carton, Wooyoung waits for his friends’ reply. Of course, it was the hyung who always leads. Seonghwa prudently kneels beside his friend, his bright eyes flowing with encouragement.

“Young-ah, your life is yours. You can decide for whatever you want. There is no need to apologize.”

Seonghwa ends his endearing note with a cooing sound. He was disappointed but knowing how he is, he will accept and love you just the same. San on the other hand was staying remarkably silent.

“Sannie, are you mad?”

“No. I’m not. I’m happy for you, but of course I feel sad too.”

A pouting baby San is inescapable. Wooyoung and Seonghwa rises from their position and envelops the mountain in an ensuring hug. Wooyoung kisses him on the cheek, long and hard. No one can deny a sweet Wooyoung and with that, San smiles; eyes lining up on an appealing downward curve.

_ Present _

Reminiscing the past and its blissful anecdotes became a relaxing dose to Wooyoung that he was able to doze off for more sleep. This sleep cycle was deeper and more tranquil than last night.

He spent most of his day at home but needed to go out for another arranged date around cocktail hour. Putting on a Blue Poplin Long Sleeve Shirt underneath a Tricolor Shetland Wool Oversized Pullover, a Cotton Twill Camel Chino Trousers and some Straight Toe Cap Trainers in Pebble Grain, Wooyoung could be mistaken as a model for the brand that has that Signature Grosgrain Loop Tab. He looks at the mirror and loves what he sees, if this look does not scream pretty boy rich money, I do not know what else would. He finishes his look with the most important element of it all, the perfume. San has always imparted the essence of olfaction and how much it is closely linked to our memory more than any of the other senses.

Nothing different, the woman came from a rich family. Wooyoung managed to get a pleased smile the moment he introduces himself as his date gets a whiff of English Oak and Hazelnut, the scent amplifying Wooyoung’s seductive aura. It was proven on some research that aroma has a physiological effect on the first five seconds and this choice of scent was definitely made to woo women. Of course, he got all these ideas from San. Wooyoung then hands a bouquet of carnations before he takes his seat.

“How thoughtful of you to bring some flowers.”

The woman accepts them. At that moment, a mental note lights up in Wooyoung’s head that no one really cares much about flowers. That these splendid things can hold much love or can post a charade of meaning as well. He subtly examines today’s date. She was clad from head to toe in designer, which was a normal thing among his dates. But her pieces were all too bold and seasonal, not to mention most of them scream the extra huge logos. They are bloody expensive, but they will not look good out on the road for long. Wooyoung finds it a waste and these are the exact kind of women he loathes. Those who have the money but do not really know how to use them well.

The date was nothing impressive to him. Despite his lack of interest for things like this, Wooyoung was still well mannered. Not because he personally wanted to treat his dates well. But because these people are within his circle and these same women that he goes out for blind dates can affect how his parents will be perceived by the community. Of course, Wooyoung only want’s nothing but to receive noble looks for his family. This was Wooyoung’s resolve ever since, that he cannot bring disrepute to his family or cause an issue that will reflect on his stepfather.

In his culture, parents are pretty obsessed with who their kids date. Career, marriage, and kids were something that mothers tend to set foot their opinion on. It was clear as day that Wooyoung can snag himself someone his parents would approve of, that was a given fact. On the flip side, the real concern is no one in his family really knows how he has been going around nor the fact about who he really prefers to go out with.

“I hope you’re liking this Penfold’s Wine.”

Wooyoung’s lips offers a polite smile. While his mind was busy praying for more patience. In occasions like this his, he definitely needed heaps of it.

**\--------**

Wooyoung’s nights had turned more and more preoccupied due to his thesis. His party nights were nowhere to be seen as of now. The library is always a good choice for working but Wooyoung’s room is devoid of all annoying human beings so he favors to stay home instead. Everything in his space was put together in the best way possible and for his convenience. His work desk is as fancy as he is, white corner table with a surface lined with marble sheets and instead of facing the walls it is placed invertedly so it affords the view of his massive suite. The spotless table was paired with a very comfortable Herman Miller Sayl Chair. Along with aromatherapy working on the side on the blend of Rosemary, Peppermint, Eucalyptus, and Sage; the set up was very much ideal to burn the night away over studying and research.

Engrossed with his work, He pulls his hair in a little ponytail as he wears an acetate framed reading glasses to aid his sight. Wooyoung wanted to do well with his program. He wanted his dad to feel more at ease with him taking on the business in the future. Having the privilege to study for his Masters with everything else provided for him, Wooyoung felt there was no excuse for him not to achieve significant results. Tonight’s reading assignment was an entire volume about Financial analysis. Reading on his references as the moon was aging fast, his mom knocks.

“Sweetheart. I brought you some snacks.”

Entering his room, Wooyoung’s mom carries a tray of biscuits and some pomegranate juice, placing them on the right wing of his table.

“I thought you want me married? I will not really get into a relationship if you keep babying me Eomma.”

An adorable tone escapes Wooyoung’s mouth, the kind that would have had hundreds of his admirers left devastated in cuteness. Wooyoung’s mom stays for a bit as she takes a seat at the sofa across the desk table.

“You know when the mothers gather for luncheon or tea, they never fail to say how lucky I am to have a son as smart, handsome and good natured as you.”

That proud mom smile fills Wooyoung with the solace that he very much needed. Not wanting to be too sentimental, he blurts out an egoistic comeback.

“I know how perfect I am Eomma.”

Wooyoung quickly laughs at the overconfident words. Then he resumes with a grateful heart.

“I’m doing my best to repay you and Appa for everything I have now.”

“And I’m really thankful that you are like that. But you know who you should thank as well? Yourself. I would have given you the world and you could have still wasted it. So, thank you my baby for never disappointing us.”

Nothing beats the warmth of family. Both of them were moved over their little chatter. And as Wooyoung’s mom leaves him to continue on his duties, she kissed him on the forehead, hand placed over the crown of his head. As his mom retrieves her hand back, Wooyoung sights her scar over the right arm. He feels a twinge, it was that mark that save him. The door closes but Wooyoung’s mind retrogrades to his bygone days.

Back when his biological father was still alive, on one of his violent episodes. Wooyoung was already bathing in his blood, eyes heavily bruised, skin painted in hues of blue. His father was ready to hit him with a broken bottle aiming to end his son’s life by attacking the neck. It was just a miracle that his mother got home right on time to pull his drunk father away and allow Wooyoung to flee. But not without his mom falling over huge shards of glass and ramming it deep against her arm. He could have ceased at that point but life was still fair, not all good souls were meant to complement the existence of evil. Some are really given the window of opportunity to thrive.

Thankfully, Wooyoung was endowed with the right set of circumstances after his traumatic teenage life. The rest was up to him to cherish and preserve. Keeping that in mind, his relationships with the people in his life were also dependent on how he wishes to accept them. He opens the third drawer of his desk, pulling out a frame. It was a photo of the three of them, San, Wooyoung and Seonghwa on his graduation. They all looked happy and at ease. Their friendship was something not everyone gets to have, a brotherhood built and strengthened through hardships and victories. It could be his current stressed state that recently his mind loves to recollect memories from the past.

_ Back to the night at the club _

Trouble trio loves to celebrate things, and Wooyoung always demands that they hit the clubs when they mean to paint the town red. Earlier during Seonghwa’s debut, they had to change this usual arrangement given that their celebrity friend cannot be easily seen in public. But that was long ago. Tonight, Wooyoung can enjoy the company of his favorite human beings, without much restriction. Seonghwa’s recent album has beaten his previous record, San is now the main male dancer at the opera and Wooyoung just simply wants to drink because he finally decided to pursue an MBA sometime in the near future. For that night, he decided to flex his card and get an exorbitantly priced VIP room that overlooks the thronged dance floor.

San was in an awful good mood; he was down at the stage tearing it down. With a penetrating gaze and crowning sick moves, he was flourishing well in the zone. Several people were stealing looks, men and women were enthralled by him. However, no soul was brave enough to dance alongside him.

Perfection, something people fear to hold on to, either because it was too great, or they could not bring themselves to cause its ruin.

Lost in his own kind of equilibrium, San moves his body for a cycle of his favorite ballet turns. People’s eyes widen in fascination. Just then, a woman stands close and take after him. They turn together, round and round they harmoniously go. As they stop, San offers the woman a drink to the bar. They talk for a while, leaning close to each other’ ear and whispering a few lines. San makes a remark on how the last landing turn of the woman was spot on. The woman giggles as San puts on a devastating eye smile. It was at that moment that a handsome man with a tiny ponytail hastily takes San by the arm.

“You’ve been dancing for too long. Come back up”

Wooyoung’s voice was austere. It could be the fact that all three of them had their fair share of whisky and vodka that he roughly pulled San back into their area, forcibly tackling him down into the leather sofa. San sits upright just as Wooyoung kneels down placing the great mountain in between his legs.

“What the fuck were you doing?”

Wooyoung blurts out, impatient and steaming with anger.

“What does it look like I’m doing eh?”

San answers defiantly. He could smell the excessive amount of alcohol Wooyoung had already swigged. Then he looks around, Seonghwa was not in their table.

“Ugh, I really really really hate you”

Wooyoung snaps before aggressively thrusting himself to San. Kissing him intensely, moving his lips against the other. It takes San a second to return the favor, repaying it double the fold. Despite the case of this being the very first time they kissed in public and at this degree, San was feeling euphoric. The environment spirals alongside Wooyoung’s vision while San takes delight at this chance ever so slowly, one passing second at a time.

Like a camera flash of a paparazzi, the door brusquely opens to another roaring drunk man.

“JUNG WOOYOUNG. I have something to say. I have long been in love with…..”

Entering the room with gallant spirits was their Seonghwa hyung. It was a good day for him and why not make it better by confessing his feelings right? His thunderous stance had to stop upon seeing something he never thought would indeed happen. Two of the most precious humans in his life were ravenously kissing. His two best friends were making out.

“YAH!!! WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?!”

Their ever so temperate hyung howled in alarm. It was the very first time they heard him at such indignation. Seonghwa moves to forcibly push Wooyoung off and away from San, trembling in fury and evident hurt.

“Hyung, it’s not what you think it is.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS NOT WHAT I THINK IT IS? IF IT’S NOT WHAT I SEE IT AS IT IS, THEN WHAT THE FUUCK DID I SEE??”

Wooyoung directs his hyung to calm down but Seonghwa could only hear his throbbing chest along with the voices in his head. To make matters worst San decided to add his own feelings to the conflict.

“Are you always going to brush me off like this? Yeah why don’t you answer Seonghwa hyung on what it was really about?”

Crestfallen words, San had a few rounds of alcohol too. He could not prevent himself from being upset on how Wooyoung is going to address who he is again. Wooyoung looks at him before Seonghwa disrupts their thoughts.

“ALL THIS TIME?”

“Hyung please don’t be like this. I’m also as hurt as you.”

“No! You two had this all along and how shameless of you to even call me your Hyung. I was here for you all this time. You know what hurts the most here? You never told me anything. Both of you purposely hid every piece of it. And I was stupid enough to dismiss all the intuition I had because I had confidence with my friemds. Apparently, you guys don’t feel the same over me.”

Seonghwa is a vocalist but for this instance he sounded like a fully trained rapper injecting fire on each perfectly enunciated word. San on the other hand was not normally the kind to butt in his feelings and put himself first. Even him who was normally the least drunk, he was losing control of his thoughts.

“Hyung….”

The situation was getting worse. San was never a fan of heated arguements. Tears well up in his eyes. And like a child, his lips were drawn to show a frown. Then he proceeds to leave the room. Seeing the chaos, Wooyoung steps forward reaching his arms out to his hyung. He delicately holds him by the arm, trying his best to have Seonghwa hear him out.

“Hyung listen to me…”

“NO! NO! FORGET IT. I DON’T WANNA HEAR EXCUSES. IF YOU DON’T TRUST ME ENOUGH. I DON’T NEED TO BE HERE.”

Seonghwa shrugs off the hold as he also charges out the door. Astounded to how the scene had progressed, Wooyoung slumps back to the couch. Cupping his face in his hands, he was in a state of anguish just the same with the other two.

Undoubtedly, they somehow knew all of it. Each of them had these affairs in their mind. But no one dared to asked. This moment was too late to throw the inquiries. And perhaps that was the problem, no one asked and so no one knew the answer.

_ Present _

Some say we should not be looking back because there was no merit to it. You are not going that way anyway, life does not go backward. But somehow looking down the expedition you undertook allows you to better sail through the present and into the future. To look back does not always mean to be sorry. Looking back can be a good practice to reflect on how far you have gone, remind yourself of your purpose, and to have better judgment. The process will definitely harbor negative things. But those who carry on with life can do such because they believed that the positive memories outweigh the bad ones.

The little trip down memory lane had Wooyoung feeling nostalgic. He looks out his window and what he saw made him smile. The season has really changed, tiny particles of ice crystals descending in light white flakes had appeared. It was the year’s first snowfall. Such phenomenon had an array of meanings in their culture. Instead of relying with the virtue of all these beliefs and make unsure wishes, Wooyoung wanted to take it all to action.

He stands up from his desk and goes into his bedside table. Picking up his phone, he opens his Kakao app and quickly sent a message.

> _“Sannie, let’s meet our Seonghwa hyung”_

**_Weather getting colder. Hearts getting warmer. Forgiveness comes from releasing the captive that is you._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for still reading ^_^  
> Wanted to delve further into Wooyoung's mind.  
> Hope you found this chapter ok.  
> Next one will have some things which will play a part of another work. hihi
> 
> Again thank you and appreciate your shared time on this.  
> Also, I know I'm a bore on twitter, but in case you wanna know more stuff, my twitter is @LM1837 as well.
> 
> Have a blessed day ^_^


	7. Chapter 7

Running his hand in his jet-black hair and looking into the full-length mirror, San takes a moment to wrap up his thoughts. The creative director had actually allowed him to do this. He thinks San’s idea was great. He wanted to embody the Swan, to fully immerse himself in the character he will be playing. A stylist arrives to his aid and asks for the style he wanted to have. San patiently tries to explain how he wanted the lower back side section of his hair to be bleached in pristine white.

“Like Cruella De Vil, but only on this part.”

San’s innocent small voice and his way of describing it was adorably cute and refreshing to hear, making the hairstylist and staff smile endearingly. His hair was growing quite long on the back already, but he has decided to keep them. Wooyoung finds it pretty on him anyway. Same as how San thinks Wooyoung’s current hair length gives him the extra captivating impression.

Getting an unusual style for his do, sometimes he wonders how it would have turned out if they never stopped training to be an idol. And if he did not quit two months after Wooyoung declared that he would be focusing on something else. Back then, training was one of the reasons he decided to stay in Seoul. But San does not regret any of it, he is still where he rightfully belongs. And that is the stage, where he can both be himself and someone else.

This time he is transforming into a creature of unique propensity and a being people thirst to be like. As the hair stylist puts on the bleach ever so carefully in his hair, San makes himself believe that he was sort of evolving as well. In Matthew Borne’s version of Swan lake, the Swan also takes form of a stranger in a grand ball. This side of him was meant to be the equivalent of the Black Swan, it was taunting and predatory. Something San can never imagine himself to be. How does being rapacious feel like? To want and have something all to yourself?

After bleaching, San gets his hair toned to remove the brassiness and the yellow tones. A few moments later he comes out of the shop with a deviant feel that undefinably draws you in. Black hair, a snow like mullet with side braids on the left and paired with eyes like a hunting fox; San was certainly worth the triple look.

He steps into the sidewalk and ten minutes later a foreign car stops in front of him. Sitting on the front seat, San gets pulled into a quick warm hug.

“Sannie!”

Wooyoung’s voice was a heavy mix of joy and anxiety. San equals the gesture and lengthens his arm to hold Wooyoung. Either both of them have been in the habit of arguing and making up that their hearts easily fall at ease when they meet.

“You ready?”

“Actually, I think I left my umbrella at home, maybe we should head back….”

The question was meant to be reassuring but it only startles Wooyoung more. He commands the car to calculate the route back home. San counters the directive and asks to check the road heading to Yeonhui-dong. The heartbreaker’s eyes widen in surprise, he did momentarily forget that he also gave San the authority over his car functions. He takes a deep breath before positioning himself to drive.

“We are meeting a friend. There is no need to be this worried. It’s just Seonghwa hyung.”

San’s tone was calming, and he was right. They are meeting someone they are very much familiar with. It took them almost an hour to reach the café at the eastern side of Seoul. Wooyoung boldly parks at the side of the actual café not bothering to look for a different spot. The shop had a very soporific ambiance, in a good consoling way. It was the kind of place you would go to rest your mind and possibly doze off in a table. They enter the green old-style French door and quickly, a tall man with puppy eyes greet them.

“You’re too early! I thought you were supposed to come here an hour from now.”

“Yuyu I’m sorry. Wooyoung just parked right at the side of your shop.”

“That’s fine.”

Yunho pats Wooyoung’s shoulder as if to give him encouragement. The latter lunges himself for a cuddle, their friend Yunho was indeed designed to be embraced. Wooyoung stays in the tall man’s arms being held like a little baby. He holds him close as he ushers them to the second floor to wait. All thanks to their kindhearted friend, the whole area had been blocked for just Seonghwa and Wooyoung.

Double trouble painstakingly waits for a presence to come up. The waiting games makes Wooyoung terribly uneasy as he keeps patting his thighs and nervously rubs his palms against them. A couple of minutes later, a man with ash grey hair, celestial eyes and a lucent smile appears right at the top of the stairs. San squeezes Wooyoungs hand before he stands to approach his hyung. Enclosing themselves in a tight hug, San then heads down to the first floor as he leaves the two to discuss amongst themselves.

Wooyoung and Seonghwa locks their eyes at each other. The air turning quite queasy, you can feel the uncertainty of the moment. Wooyoung silently gestures for his hyung to take the chair opposite him. They lay sitting in obvious nervousness. The first word is always the hardest. And as if it’s a game of chess, Wooyoung has constantly been cautious with his moves. Seonghwa knows this and he knows how Wooyoung likes to take his time.

But maybe not on this one, because for once Wooyoung did not want to beat around the bush. He just abruptly stood up and made a full folder bow.

“HYUNG PLEASE FORGIVE ME!”

In a loud voice, Wooyoung requests that he be pardoned. His sudden movement caught Seonghwa unprepared. The older brother covers his mouth in surprise, eyes going wide. Wooyoung didn’t stop there as he takes another bow, this time with his knees on the ground, repeating his guilt-ridden words once more.

“HYUNG PLEASE FORGIVE ME!”

Hitting the floor with a remorseful bow, his hyung quickly ran to his side, stopping Wooyoung on his tracks. The hyung thought it was too much, to have Wooyoung bow in such manner. Seonghwa delicately holds him by the arm and the shoulder.

“Yah! You don’t need to do this.”

Seonghwa was reprimanding him but his voice sounded very caring. He carries Wooyoung to sit on the chair again and instead of going back to his original seat he decided to take the one beside his friend.

“Hyung, I have no excuse. I’m really really sorry.”

“Why are you and San like that, you’re more concerned on saying sorry than actually being happy to see me again.”

Wooyoung’s head was casted down, looking into the floor. The older brother bends his shoulders forward as to minimize the space in between. He takes the other man’s hands and holds them mellow, asserting his tender and compassionate feelings. This hold was also among the things that helped Wooyoung handle his life back in his dark times. He brings his head to look up and there he saw the same awkward and painful looking smile that got him through his past. Without warning he just tackled his hyung for the third loving hug of the day. Seonghwa gently pets Wooyoung at the back as they make up for the time they lived apart.

“Sorry Hyung. I’m really sorry.”

“Young-ah you weren’t the only one who made a mistake. I hope you forgive your Hyung as well.”

“Of course, of course. I’m sorry! I know I caused you more trouble. I know you had it worse after that, I should have been more careful and understanding. I’m sorry Hyung forgive me hyung I love you very much hyung”

Wooyoung’s words started off being too apologetic then it went on having too much Aegyo. WooSan likes to be babied but Wooyoung prefers to be extremely babied by his favorite hyung. They keep the hug, swaying mildly. They release each other a minute later, faces plastered with merriment. 

“I have to admit, I had it bad after that. But just to be clear, it was not the only thing that affected me. My issues were already there even before things happened. You know that as well. And seeing how you have been, I was not the only one that lived in misery. And we gotta stop living like that. Why dont we just move on eh? Young-ah?”

“Can we really just start over? But just like restart right before we screwed up.”

“Very well then, I guess there was really no need for the foreboding feel I had a while ago.”

Seonghwa knew his younger brother so well, discussion relating matters like this takes him on the edge. And yes, perhaps some past associations can be left closed without further discussion. Wooyoung breaks another wide smile as he hugs his hyung again.

“I missed you hyung. I really did.”

Both were utterly fearing that it could not possibly go well. Forgiveness can only be easily given if the good remembrances prevail over the awful ones. And for them, friendship mattered more. With such, they knew that there should only be one ideal outcome to this. Not everyone has it easy to resolve disputes like this but Seonghwa and Wooyoung came and woke up to this day both wanting to have each other back in their lives. And more than anything else they had already envisioned the next coming days, together.

Being inquisitive and all, Wooyoung also pried on Seonghwa’s new love life. To which the hyung got a lot of teasing on. Seonghwa’s tone always change to a proud but shy one as he tries to be chill over falling in love when he talks about his precious one. More talks, bright smiles, and ribbing comebacks, it was as if they never parted ways.

They walk downstairs and into the counter with Wooyoung wrapping himself over his hyung’s arm, like a cute Koala on a eucalyptus tree. The great mountain approaches them, relieved and thankful.

“Yunho my man, give me it to me.”

Wooyoung stretches his hand to Yunho who squints his eyes in wonder before realizing what his friend was asking for. He runs to the display rack and returns with a white pot on his hand.

“Well good thing it ended well because I was planning on taking this back if it didn’t, because this one costs a fortune.”

Wooyoung takes the delicate yellow orchid from Yunho and slowly hands it to Seonghwa.

“You’re still the same Wooyoung I know.”

“Just so you know, an orchid is a fitting apology flora for a man.”

Taking the gift ever so carefully, Seonghwa knew it was really official. When Wooyoung talks in flowers it is a done deal. They introduce their hyung to their friend Yunho. The tall man gladly bows for respect and admiration as he meets the known celebrity who recently made headlines with his valiant revelation. Their chummy introductions ended as a customer comes in who also recognized the singer.

“Oh Seonghwa Hyung!”

“Mingi? I thought you were supposed to meet up with Hongjoong and Jongho?”

“Oh yes hyung, I was just picking up something in this neighborhood and then Jongho asked me to bring an americano.”

“Really? I need to go there too. Can you give me a ride? I was just dropped off here.”

Seonghwa attentively moves Mingi forward, guiding him from the back like a caring mother. He introduces the fairly tall man of charming eyes to his friends and to the owner of the place who was almost the same height as him. They all greet each other with a smile as the circle grows in harmony. Despite the low temperature, the beautiful falling snow, and the weather turning a centegrade lower with each passing day, their fervent friendship keeps them cozied up and secure.

**\--------**

With a light heart, good company and immaculate white crystals dancing down from the heavens, Wooyoung was still at the state of coming over from the ecstatic happenings. With such a splendid mood he demanded they go for shopping. Quickly commanding his car to make the route to Shilla Hotel, he knows the perfect thing to buy for them. On the other hand, San protests on the current agenda. He is not really a fan of extravagances nor does he like to daringly spend his money. His objections were unheard of as his beloved best friend drives off to the highway.

“Follow me Sannie.”

Wooyoung pulls San into the shopping arcade that had nothing less than the luxury brands which Wooyoung and his Seonghwa hyung always had themselves adorned with, and perhaps their friend Yeosang who also lives this high-end life. They enter the shop of interlocking Cs. Wooyoung charmingly smiles at the attendant and directs himself to the fragrance section.

“It’s a new chapter, a good new perfume can best capture the new memories right?”

This irresistible smile Wooyoung dawns also sends San to emit a smile and a sigh of relief. San does spend a few good bills on perfumes though, believing that scent can better create the illusion rather than the look. On the same note, San had always mentioned how scents tend to have the Proustian Memory effect wherein fragrance create longer lasting and more elaborate memories. He follows his beloved Wooyoung as he prances around the shop. Sniffing in the offered scents after a good long half an hour and after much deliberation with San, who knows more to this stuff. Wooyoung’s choice was still fixed on one specific scent.

“I’m telling you, this one is more suited for spring. Also, why don’t you take a moment to let this settle in your body before deciding on buying it.”

San was trying his best to have Wooyoung get something that was more fitting for the cold season, something that would come off more appealing with the frigid atmosphere. Scents tend to play their notes better and create the perfect dream depending on the condition and the person’s body reaction to it. However, Wooyoung was fully determined to already get this one bottle.

“I’m also telling you that this scent is what I want. Miss, give me this Bleu de Chanel in EDP on the biggest size.”

“Okay fine. Anyway, that one was the last creation of the brand’s chief perfumer. It can’t be a miss.”

“And Miss get me the other products of this perfume’s line for fragrance layering as well. Ok?”

The firmness in Wooyoung’s voice had San retreating. The heartbreaker flexes his card yet again as he comes out of the shop with a paper bag of his new toys. But the shopping parade does not stop there, Wooyoung drags San to another shop with black and gold façade. San knows this brand, it was among those unique and emotion provoking perfumery he had once read of. The attendant greets them with a sweet smile. Wooyoung looks arounds while San keeps his hands to himself, not wanting to impulsively buy anything.

Wooyoung comes back to his side after a while and asks him to examine this one particular perfume.

“Wow, this is very very nice and the fragrance is thick enough for winter! The sweet woody rose scent and top notes of…”

San takes another whiff before he explains further.

“Top notes of rose, violet and bergamot too. I love the feel it gives, smooth and enticing but not manifestly sexual, to be honest. You should get this. It’s better than the one you bought.”

“I knew you’d like this. This is very you. Miss, I’d like to get a set of Cruel Intentions, Tempt me.”

Wooyoung spritz San’s chest with the scent and bops San’s nose before asking the lady to prepare one. The process goes, Wooyoung swipes his card and takes the paper bag. But this time he extends it forward.

“This is for you.”

“Me?”

San gawks in disbelief, eyes in widen globes with his mouth inviting a bug to go in.

“I didn’t buy this for myself. This was meant for you.”

“WHAT? You’re buying me a Killian perfume? This is like double the price of the one you bought. Oh no, no, no, just get a refund.”

“I’d even buy that creepy perfume they made on the MV of ‘Eau De VIXX’ if you want. Ugh, you’re so annoying.”

Rolling his eyes back, Wooyoung drags San out of the shop and links their arms. They walk along the hotel’s premises as Wooyoung coos the shocked San. They make petty talks and funny remarks as they start to look back on things they did with their Seonghwa Hyung. It could be their hyper gossiping and wonder over their older brother’s new special someone that the pair got themselves lost among the area’s properties. And it was not entirely a bright idea to go around because the snow was falling harder and they have managed to arrive at the outside garden of the hanok-style guesthouse.

Instead of being worried that this could actually be trespassing, Wooyoung got too absorbed at the elegant view. Matching it with the romantic snow fall, he starts to run in circles across the field as he shouts random noises of bliss. San looks at him with laudation as he thinks to himself how Wooyoung made another leap of faith today. He was feeling truly sentimental and proud of him.

Wooyoung was continually turning and circling, flinging his Chanel paper bag in the air. Seeing him playing around the cold snow makes it even more fascinating to witness, like it was a scene from a fantasy drama. San gives off an enamored smile at such a comely sight. Spontaneously, at that moment Wooyoung takes notice of the other man. San raises his arms open. Wooyoung halts his cute antics and runs into the mountain’s unguarded arms. A high-pitched cackle come to pass off their lips as they rest their heads at each other’s shoulder. The godly pair swing a little and appreciate the hold they share.

“Not that I want to be a party pooper or what but I just wan’t to make it clear that this doesn’t mean we have moved into something.”

“I’m happy that you actually gave yourself something you deserve. You being free of worries is more than enough. For now.”

Wooyoung moves his head back, putting on his most adorable aegyo expression.

“Okay because you know I still think Van Gogh was right. That it is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.”

“You probably heard that from Yunho.”

San chuckles at Wooyoung’s defense who even quoted a very apt line. Wooyoung dives in for the nth hug of the day, inhaling the new scent he got for San. It was unique and remarkable. More than anything else, it was something he picked solely for the mountain.

“But still, I get to have the right of first refusal for this.”

Wooyoung goes forward and places a light chaste kiss over San’s lips. The mountain genuinely smiles, his best friend has always been this way.

“Let’s go go?”

“Let’s go.”

They head back looking for the parking, happy, elated and contented. [Like how they use to when they were in their youthful years](https://open.spotify.com/track/23EXCgTa99RN6b3KwtkodK?si=9NI1Q5usTGWIpehltOweKw).

**_Winter may be coming. Well no, winter is already here but their incandescent fascination cannot be dimmed._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank You for reading! ^_^  
> Just a bit of a detail over Yunho's cafe, there is an actual Cafe in Seoul with a green european door on that side of the city. If I remember it correctly it was Sway Station Coffee.  
> Hope you liked this warm chapter. Because well, winter is coming?
> 
> Have a blessed day. Thank you again for reading. Ready your hearts.


	8. Chapter 8

Silence is either a blessing or a burden, depends on how you receive it. The vellichor of the huge space, the smell of books and the harried quietness of people, all of which were contributory to the pressure Wooyoung was feeling as the semester comes to its last days. He usually prefers to work or study at home, but recently being at the library has been more productive for him. Occasionally, the comfort of his home tends to be way too comfortable, that it ain’t instrumental in the mission to keep the midnight oil burning.

He had no class today, which explains his very casual look. Wooyoung was clad in a black shirt, underneath a black loose cardigan and black comfortable pants, while his wool and cashmere blend double face monogram coat hangs on the other chair. The look was paired with gold rimmed circular glasses that besiege him of a mystifying aura. If it were not for the white sneakers, he would have looked like a modern-day handsome grim reaper. Despite the effortless laid back look, Wooyoung was still getting the usual loving stares.

And being an extrovert who loves being admired, his empty smiles were all taken or rather stolen by men and women alike. Not a day in the library passes that he does not get offered a drink. This morning was no exception.

“This is for you. It’s non-fat don’t worry.”

A lady with a bob cut in between the spectrum of dark blonde and light brown hands a warm cup of coffee, eyes with grey lenses and coral lips fully curved into a smile. The voice was euphonious, and the coffee was very specific to his taste. It made Wooyoung look up and take his focus away from his material.

“Thank You.”

Wooyoung nonchalantly answers back with his heartbreaker smile. Surprisingly, the smile did not make the woman blush like everyone else. She returns the smile and then she just casually leaves. Wooyoung recollects if he had ever met this familiar lady but could not conclude a definite answer. Perhaps he may have partied with her among all those that he had attended. He steers his mind back to the reading material before him, trying his best to sharpen his decision-making skills and mastery of commercial strategies over cases and situations of finance and market share.

Soon enough he gets irritated with all the work laid out before him. Wooyoung impatiently pulls out his phone and opens the new group chat he had created which consists of San, Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Yeosang.

> _“We need to go out once my_ _semester is over!!!”_
> 
> **_*Seonghwa_ **
> 
> _“When’s the last day of your exams???”_
> 
> _“My last schedule would be_ _mid-afternoon of saturday.”_
> 
> **_*Sannie_ **
> 
> _“I’m free on that night.”_
> 
> **_*Hongjoong_ **
> 
> _“Mingi and I are supposed to go_ _out on that day. Maybe you should just_ _all come and join us.”_
> 
> _“I don’t mind!”_
> 
> _“Oh Yeosang has a new club right?_ _YEOSANG! Let’s party there!”_

> **_*Seonghwa_ **
> 
> _“Ok. Ok. See you on Saturday”_
> 
> _“YEOSANG!!!!???”_
> 
> _“YEOSANG I KNOW YOU READ THIS!"_
> 
> _“CAN YOU REPLY!”_
> 
> **_*Yeosang_ **
> 
> _*Seen_

Wooyoung was crowding the group chat with numerous messages, not wanting to just be left on read by Yeosang. As he was trying to get his friend to react, he gets another message. This time it was a reminder from his mom.

> _“Adeul, don’t forget you have a date_ _with the daughter of the TWJ Group_ _later at five pm, ok?”_
> 
> _“Yes Eomma.”_

Wooyoung softly rolls his eyes back, blind dates are almost a walk in the park for this secret heartbreaker. Truthfully, he has slyly dominated this field that even on his busy days he can squeeze an hour of acting out his gentleman side. But it still requires effort to administer such a task. Wooyoung takes a sip of the warm coffee he received. It was a good, and the milk was indeed non-fat. It was easy to drink and clean in the palate.

The heartbreaker spends the morning till a little past mid-noon in the same desk before he heads to his car and picks out a new look for his quick date. He goes from his current dark colored outfit to another Edward scissors hands tone of black and white. Wooyoung passes by a flower shop and asks for whatever carnation was available. And since the time was not really of dinner hour, it was previously decided by their parents to just opt for the fancy Christian D Café along Gangnam. Approaching the woman with a bouquet of blush pink flowers in his hand, Wooyoung arrives just a minute past five.

At first glance he already knew this one had a higher penchant for luxury and obviously more moolah to burn. Most of his dates wear luxury costume jewelry but this one was wearing a Souveraine necklace. He makes a mental note on how Yunho would probably be horrified to see this kind of piece casually promenading in the streets. Wooyoung greets the woman with a courteous bow before handing the gift in his hand. Strangely, the woman’s expression was not entirely the kind of gratefulness most show when they get the flowers. She places the bouquet at the side, without even taking a good smell of it.

“Do you not like flowers?”

Wooyoung asks out of curiosity.

“I do, it’s just that aren’t carnations just flower fillers?”

The woman’s words gain a silent exclamation of discontent from Wooyoung, but he moves on to offer a consolatory excuse.

“I’m deeply sorry, I am not well versed with flowers. I will take note of that, so I don’t mess up on our next date.”

A flirty smile erupts on the woman’s lips at the mere mention of the word ‘next’. It takes skill to appease a woman, most especially a high maintenance one. And Wooyoung unquestionably knows his words, as well as his flowers.

Their afternoon café time has gotten from being bland to absolutely feeling inedible for Wooyoung. The conversation has only revolved around the family wealth, expensive international exotic vacations, extortionate price of champagne on exclusive yacht parties and more discussions about money heirs. Wooyoung’s mind was starting to drift farther as his sub conscious was repeating the same words

_*Who cares about expensive parties when you are all shitty to be with and I can’t stand being with so much people like you who thinks that money can secure who they want to be with.*_

It was true. Even though Wooyoung is wealthy he was still considered as nouveau riche. His actual circle of close people was also not among the raised Chaebol kids of the country. Well except for one that categorically falls under crazy rich asians theme. His primary education up until high school was taken from public schools and he was a bit late to be sent off for a college abroad, which explains how his core lifestyle was not same as those considered as the rich rich society. Although it is also a fact that Wooyoung still loves to burn good money, but not on the ludicrous level. This was because he also knew how having nothing feels like. He was previously dirt poor; he was accustomed to the feeling of going to bed with an empty stomach. However, he does not find this particular detail of him a flaw. But rather, he looks at it as an advantage to better relate to the market of business.

The date went well as usual. Heartbreaker Woo never disappoints to charm the ladies. They bid goodbye; the woman ends the salutation with a hope to bump into each other again. Wooyoung says something similar but his mind meant otherwise. He walks back to the parking lot when his phone buzzed with notifications coming from their group chat.

> **_*Yeosang_ **
> 
> _“Fine. This celebration is on me._ _Since immature Wooyoung finally realized_ _he was being foolish on not wanting_ _to speak with Seonghwa hyung.”_
> 
> _“You could’ve just said ‘Sure,_ _this one is on me’ without the_ _need to mention such things."_
> 
> _"You asshole.”_
> 
> **_*Yeosang_ **
> 
> _“I love to make myself clear."_
> 
> _"BTW, who else is joining us?”_
> 
> **_*Hongjoong_ **
> 
> _“Me, Seonghwa, Wooyoung, San._ _Mingi will also there and he invited_ _Jongho too. I hope that’s fine with_ _you all.”_
> 
> _“The more the merrier.”_
> 
> **_*San_ **
> 
> _“No issues with me as well.”_
> 
> **_*Yeosang_ **
> 
> _*Seen_
> 
> ****

****

**_\--------_ **

Roaring music making everyone hyped, flowing alcohol of the finest kind and the spirit of good friendship, everything was falling right in its place. They say it is not the place that makes the experience one of a kind, but rather the people you spend it with that makes the memory valuable. Well, such could be majorly true but for tonight everyone could agree that their party destination was incontestably sublime. The place was definitely top class, it was impressive and first rate, yet it was not overwhelming to the eyes.

It is a membership kind of establishment; nothing falls lower than a few hundred bucks. The environment was a mix of a Victorian ballroom kind of vibe of textured wall surfaces, lustrous golden accents and all sizes of chandelier dripping with precious jewels; blended with a tropical rainforest dream where such plants were variegated that it felt like an entirely new specie to the human race. Yeosang’s new venture was nothing short of how regal he is, not to mention the opulent commissioned arts sprawling across the vicinity.

Seonghwa and Hongjoong were the first ones to arrive, they were ushered into the grandiose chamber at the second level that showcases Seoul’s beautiful skyline. Next to arrive was Wooyoung, San and Yunho. It was easy to know if Wooyoung was already coming, you can hear his loud and excited voice. He lunges for a hug towards his Seonghwa hyung, then gives the same warmth to his new and possibly the current favorite hyung, Hongjoong. San follows suit with a cheery embrace to which he gets a loving head pat from his older brothers.

“Oh right, we also invited our friend Yunho. He’s the flower shop café owner if you remember.”

“Hongjoong hyung! You’ll surely go along with Yunho. Both of you love travelling and art.”

San introduces their extra tall and extra adorable friend, while Wooyoung adds a layer of easy access friendship note to the scene. Yunho politely offers a bow and the hyungs tender a handshake with a warm-hearted smile.

“Yah where is Yeosang?? YEOSANG!!!”

The happiness was surely up in the roof for Wooyoung given that he is cheering so loudly despite the fact that he has not taken any alcohol yet.

“He messaged me this afternoon, he couldn’t come.”

“WHAT? Why? Why would he ditch us?”

“You know how he is, he’ll let you know of the details when he wants.”

“Did he also send all these bodyguards as some sort of commiseration? I mean Yeosang is the only person who needs this much security.”

Seonghwa, Wooyoung and San discuss the fact that their friend who owns this lavish property and also the one who will be paying for the entire cost of the party is not even present. Wooyoung snickers in annoyance and Seonghwa scolds him to respect their friend’s choice. People have their reasons. Wooyoung pouts in dismay as he goes to call the attendant to place his orders.

On the other side of the long leather sofa was Hongjoong and Yunho who was already chattering over common interest. The older man was looking pretty tiny next to the Baymax level of a cuteness titan. Not long after, Mingi and Jongho arrived. No, they did not carpool together. Each of them brought their own sportscar. It just so happened that they met at the parking lot.

“Oh Mingi! Jongho!”

Seonghwa exclaims, eyes twinkling in glee. He then goes to introduce them to Wooyoung and San who were at his wing.

“Mingi, Jongho. This is Wooyoung and this is San, my childhood best friends.”

“Oh yeah I met them back at the café.”

Mingi notes as Jongho silently nods to the other two. Hongjoong approaches them right after.

“Mingi! Jongho! Oh, this is Yunho, Wooyoung and San’s friend. Right, you’re all born on the same year. You can all be friends, well except for our baby bear Jongho.”

Hongjoong slings his arm to the bunch’s maknae, who was seemingly busy scanning the vast area. Mingi and Yunho acknowledge each other, two twin tall towers shake their hands.

Each one of them were looking exceptionally fine, most were in their blazers except for San and Mingi. Hongjoong was in a white suit while Seonghwa was in a dark long coat ensemble. The official couple had complimenting looks, like they were in a photoshoot. Of course, Wooyoung was chic and simply eye catching in his Brunello Cucinelli Cotton and silk piqué jacket. Shortly after the introductions and after getting themselves familiar with their new acquaintances, the first batch of drinks arrive.

“YAH! Let’s burn Yeosang’s wallet because he ain’t here!!

The ever so loud and cheerful Wooyoung was declaring tonight’s goal as he raises a bottle of Dom Perignon in his left and a bottle of legal age Suntory Yamazaki on the right. They start the rounds, reveling in the good moment they now share together. Mingi who is not really a drinker had to ask for a light wine, while San was urged by Wooyoung to have the magnificent whiskey. Seonghwa was watchful over what his other half was drinking, given Hongjoong is still technically in some maintenance for his health.

They huddle for some fun games, confab and schmooze as if they had all known each other for so long. Jongho was making Wooyoung laugh like crazy, San was dancing as usual, the tall men were conversing along with Seonghwa, while Hongjoong was checking to make sure they don’t really run Yeosang bankrupt. He returns to Seonghwa’s side and leans into his shoulder. San takes notice of it and delivers another teasing line, this time in a somehow drunk english with a sexy british accent.

“Hey hey hey, you two can’t show too much PDA. I’m getting envious!”

The mountain’s contention makes the mat-hyung chuckle. Seonghwa opens his arms calling on one of his babies for an embrace. San was more than willing to be babied, snuggling up to his dearest hyung. And with such an adorable scene, Wooyoung demanded that he be treated on the same lovesome manner too. He then chooses Yunho as his hugging buddy, imitating San but emitting extra cute muffled sounds.

Witnessing such a funny, petty and unfamiliar scene to him, Jongho composes a genuine sweet smile. Mingi who was also laughing, just randomly held Hongjoong in his arms. With such, Jongho’s smile disappears.

“Wow, that leaves me so alone and lonely.”

Jongho’s protest turns everyone’s head on him. They laugh heartily. Wooyoung pulls him close to join the Yunho hug, in which two grown men can fit inside his arms. The mood was indeed something they love to indulge in. It was warm, harmonious, and truly festive.

The night dims further as they lose more and more of their rationality. Hongjoong and Seonghwa were unwarily cooped up in the side when the blue haired man notices how their loudest friend has been gone for the bathroom longer than expected.

“I’ll go look for him.”

“I’ll come with you.”

Yunho who was the least drunk offers to go down and San tags along. They search for him at the comfort room and the around the area, but Wooyoung could not be located. They look further into the place, by the third staircase down at the hallway they see him leaning against the wall talking to a group of gentlemen.

“Oh, there he is.”

“He must’ve ran into some friends.”

They cross to the other side and as they were nearing, the voices were seemingly getting louder. Not that Wooyoung was at it again. It was because they were not actually having an amicable conversation. The heartbreaker was in a heated argument. It was when Wooyoung gets slammed unto the wall that San rushes to his side. He pushes the stranger who was holding his friend by the neck with great force that the man who was caught surprised stumbles into the ground. The other men build up their composure while Yunho stands in between looking colossal against everyone. The man was probably around the same age as them, and probably among the Chaebol kids given he is in this club. He stands up and walks toward San and Yunho.

“Is this your new lover? Or the same old lover you think you love?”

The man looks at Wooyoung who was now holding his own neck. The young man sniggers before progressing on.

“You filthy, good for nothing, gayboy bastard. You ain’t as a hot shot as you think you are. Honestly, you’re not even part of the of the upper class. You’re mom just got lucky she lured an impotent billionaire.”

Such derogatory statement makes Wooyoung’s eye blurry in hurt. The insults hit right at home. To lambaste the person itself was horrible, but to slander someone’s family is plain sinister. It sends San’s blood boiling in anger. He steps forward, asserting dominance. But the vile immature man did not even budge.

“You pretty boy, stay out of this issue. Just resume being his boy toy okay.”

“Watch your mouth, perhaps money couldn’t buy you morals.”

It maddens him more. San steps closer, eyes heavily serrated. The man sneers, before spitting into San’s face. At that point the mountain goes berserk, tearing forward with his fist and landing it at the unknown man’s face. The havoc starts. Yunho and San charges in for a fight, but the two were clearly outnumbered. Seeing San being held and beaten, the commotion unearths Wooyoung’s greatest fears. Seeing one of his most treasured human being assaulted right before him, his trauma consumes him yet again. He suddenly sits down on the floor, covering his ears as he wails in panic.

Thankfully, the rest of their company has also gone looking for the other three. Seonghwa spots the disconcerted Wooyoung on the ground and quickly holds him into his arms. Mingi, Hongjoong and Jongho were ready to back them up and join the brawl but San stops them.

“Don’t get yourself involved. You can’t. Call the guards.”

San’s firm order was due to the fact that they were known personalities. He is kind of a celebrity too, but this side of the group had bigger names and San was just being very considerate. Hongjoong runs back to gather the security, Jongho’s fist was curling in repression while Mingi just all the way ignored San’s words. He goes in and throws a couple of punches against the men who were holding his friends.

Yeosang’s bodyguard and the property’s security team arrive shortly, but not right in time before San gets violently thrown into the wooden staircase. His head hits the handrail, while his hip takes an unpropitious impact against the protruding design of the newel post. He falls like a pulp down into the floor. The armed men round up the troublemakers. Hongjoong runs over to San, whose eyes were concernedly fixated at the curled up and terrified Wooyoung.

Holding his sides, San lets out a piercing sound of agony. A second late, he loses his consciousness.

[𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮](https://open.spotify.com/track/1zl7VGjTBriRXgdHEb6z1e?si=NcJvTtJNQ8C9wwzSPWPrYA)

**_When you begin to think happiness has always been pre-determined, life has its way to take you back to where it all started_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! Hihi! Thank you for still reading.  
> Hope you're ready for some more feels on the next chapters.  
> Well perhaps life never really gets easy eh?
> 
> Also think again when someone gives you a carnation.
> 
> Again, thank you. Please let me know what you think in the comments too.  
> Have a blessed day ^_^


	9. Chapter 9

These oversized windows were built to show beyond doubt that the beauty of nature is a factor that can affect our viewpoint. The main intention of these casements around the house was to bring radiance and hope for each rising day. But somehow when the sunrays cease and the vast darkness takes over, everything seems to be nothing but a ruthless freezing illustration of reality. Cold, uncertain, and quite lonesome. Sitting by the cozy high-back quilted armchair was a man staring into the barren scenery. In contrast with the deafening silence his inner self depicted a restless termagant, quite a far-off personality from who he is. It could be the burden, the distress and the unforeseen turn of the timeline that had his mental state tipping off. 

On the nearby desk, a phone had been buzzling a dozen of times. It was probably on the near twentieth count when the great mountain finally decided to stand from his comfortable position and face the pressing matter. He unhurriedly walks towards his phone which was at the right corner of the room. San looks at the caller’s name, takes a deep breath before his feelings lurch as he picks it up.

> _“Yeobeoseyo Gamdoknim”_
> 
> _“Neh, I understand”_
> 
> _“Of course, this was inevitable.”_
> 
> _“I fully understand.”_

San puts down the phone after a brief but poignant discussion with the theatre’s director. He takes another full lungful breath as he tries to latch into the idea that had just materialized before him.

Moving on to the sliding French doors, one light step at a time, with a help of a crutch. He shifts it open to the side as he enters the small balcony. It was bitterly cold, and San was not even wearing any winter outerwear. The mountain grips the railings as he looks farther into the space, his hands benumbed by the frozen metal.

Sometimes when reality hits you heavy, even at the state of hurt you lose the strength to even feel for your own pain. Among all the things crossing in your head, you cannot find one to wallow on. There was a lot in his mind, a turmoil silenced by another chaos. It goes on, then you go detached. Looking at nothingness, San’s mind was also uninhabited. He stays still until he hears a knock on the door, followed by a voice that had long kept him in possession of all his faculties and had him paranoiac at the same time.

“Sannie, have you taken your meds?

Wooyoung’s voice sounded mellifluous tonight, not that it was not like that before. For San, nothing has sounded this sweet and alleviating like a demulcent than his best friend’s voice calling for his name. Wooyoung sees his good friend bathing in the winter weather at the frigid balcony with just a black sweater and linen lounge pants. He darts to his side, picking up a multicolor wool and silk FF poncho along the way. He settles them over San’s shoulders.

“Why are you out here? Your hip will act up if you stay out cold like this.”

He carefully guides San back inside the room, holding him by the arms and helping him sit at the end of the bed. Wooyoung squats in front of San, checking on his friend, trying to guess what goes inside his mind.

“Why are you awfully quiet San? Are you in pain now? Have you taken your meds? Hmmm?”

Caring for his friend, Wooyoung’s tone goes on like a tender coo. San looks back at him, eyes going left and right as he scans his best friend’s comely face. But he does not answer.

“I’m sorry I had to leave the house today. There was something at the company that I needed to take care of while Eomma and Appa are away. Okay, let me just get your prescription medicine so you can take them now.”

Wooyoung gets up and prepares a glass of water along with the medication. He returns to San’s aid a moment later and gently hands them to San. The Ballerino obligingly drinks, still without a single word. Noticing how the silence has been consuming the air, Wooyoung pulls a footrest close and sits in front of San.

“I once heard that a Ballerino’s toes must be as flexible as a willow and hard as a rock….”

Delicately lifting San’s foot and placing it over his knee, Wooyoung softly massages his treasured one’s feet. A loving gesture indeed. He then goes on to story tell everything that he had encountered today. The people at the office, the papers, waiting for his grades and the grocery stop he made in preparation for Christmas. San’s empty thoughts gets preoccupied with details regarding Wooyoung’s day. His mind courses through the sensation over the feel of papers, the sound of office machines and the smell of fruits.

San had been staying over the Jung’s residence. Wooyoung demanded that he live with them while he heals with his injury. After that forbidding party night, the trouble they got themselves into and numerous strings Yeosang had to pull just to cover up the incident, it was discovered that San has a labral tear. It was not entirely because he got badly hit during the resistance. Apparently, it had been there for quite some time, which explained the pain he has been experiencing during his trainings. Sadly, the accident had caused the tear to worsen, from being bearable to now needing professional therapy.

After rounds of consultation, it was agreed and concluded that there was no need for San to undergo surgery. But the recovery will cut him at least four months to rest, avoid strenuous activities and receive therapy. Not to mislead anyone, San can and will still dance. Thankfully, the injury will not incapacitate him from living on his passion nor will it possibly hinder him in the future. Once it heals, everything should all go back to how it was. But even with the assertion that San will still be back in the game, for him not being able to dance as much as he used to feels like withering away. To simply exist not doing what you love is not a life. This actuality has led to the decision he just acquired a while ago.

He did lose the role of the swan. His first best shot to offer the world of his prowess and the first step to cement the name Choi San in the ballet scene just vanished like that. All the long nights and painful works to be his best kind of such a creature will no longer be coming to life any time soon. San will miss this year’s season. He will not be participating in Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake. The Swan’s role will now be passed over to San’s understudy. All these facts were laid heavy against his heart. Plans and dreams will have to wait.

Wooyoung was still blabbering about things, keeping San somehow entertained and distracted. Despite the fact that he is the kind of friend that was loud and sometimes a bit pompous, maybe the reason why San finds himself at ease with Wooyoung was that he fills the silence in San’s life with so much vigor. San might have kept Wooyoung grounded but Wooyoung has kept San sane amongst life’s stillness.

Collecting all his strength, San finally says something to Wooyoung.

“The director just called. I won’t be doing Swan Lake anymore.”

Doleful and piteous, his feelings were salient. San did not need to hide how he feels. To be reassured and have your honest sentiments unfurled in front of someone you love, San knew he could trust Wooyoung more than anyone else. It was in their pact, a friend as far as to the altars.

On the other side, Wooyoung was trying his best to keep his own self from breaking at the confirmation of such news. He was not totally surprised upon hearing such. It was indeed inevitable. Wooyoung shifts himself from the footrest and into the bed, sitting beside his best friend.

“I’m sorry you’re going through this San. Do not be too harsh on yourself. You also need to appreciate all the work you’ve done. The universe may not always play well on our side and I know I can’t guarantee I will make things better, but I’ll be here…”

Woooung takes a momentary pause, his words were also seemingly directed towards himself. Then he continues.

“We can get through anything as long as we are with each other. Amicus Ad Aras, right?”

He looks at San with compassionate eyes, while he himself swallows back the anguish coming up to his throat like bile. With such nurturing words, the mountain moderately moves to be guarded warmly in Wooyoung’s embrace. Being held closely and hearing each other’s heartbeat, the doubt, the fear and the pain suddenly feels so real. Everything was real and now it hurts everywhere.

The mighty Choi San, whose every movement was perfectly designed and filled with ardent passion also takes a fall. Behind his Herculean armor is still a kid who also needed his reasonable share of love. His tears began to fall, it had been ages since he got himself feeling so low like this. The beads flow down his face and into Wooyoung’s dress shirt, sobbing hard, suffering like it was never going to drain away.

Thinking it through, San was also caught up with thoughts on how he got to this point. Maybe if he did not agree to another alcohol filled party, maybe it would have panned out differently. Such thoughts were yes, terribly too late. Also, maybe if he was also careful enough not to get himself into a brawl, maybe just maybe. But how does one prioritize oneself when you overflow with warmth? More than these negative emotions and unwanted questions, San also felt the certitude. Life does not throw you to get battered just for the spectacle of having to suffer. Life gives you these hurdles because a higher entity has a clearer plan, and these are only meant to prepare you for the greater things ahead.

At the wordless sound of a breaking heart, Wooyoung’s grip on San goes tighter. Like he was trying with all his being to consume all the sorrow and heartache that his treasured one was having. Maybe if he holds him ever so lovingly the affliction will go away. Wooyoung’s eyes were starting to water as well, he tries to fight them back but some still managed to escape his guard. He pats San’s head very fondly all the while as his own feelings uproar inside like a storm. He knew he caused this. He partially did or perhaps he was truly the actual cause.

Wooyoung was terrified, it dawns on him. The realization that he had somehow contrived to taint the goodness of the person he treasures the most. Why does he only bring pain to those he love? As if the misery of the past were not enough, does his bad luck also affect everyone he cares for up to this day? The fear was devouring him whole, but at the same time he cannot help but be selfish. Wooyoung loves San, with everything he has, with every single remaining piece of his existence. But even that itself goes unsaid, for the same reason. [Fear. 𝅘𝅥𝅮 𝅘𝅥𝅮 𝅘𝅥𝅮](https://open.spotify.com/track/4IIzisEAQJ0pDkvHChn9O4?si=vOUAc19YQ_6pkNw7WdEWqA)

“You have me. You’ll always have me.”

Wooyoung forces such words out of his mouth as San continues to sob in his arms. He needed to be strong. To be disheartened and berate himself over the reality was not something the situation calls for. He knew what San needed. San needed him, he needed him to be stay by his side. He needed him to be his stronghold, to remind him that they have gone through so much and that nothing can ever shake them now.

Lovers hold you near because they love who you are. Friends hold you firmer because of who you were and as you course together through life’s upheaval, they watch the process of how you became the person you are now. All the bad stuff, all the dirty laundry and all the unwanted memories without the need to put them into words.

**\--------**

Wooyoung was out for some last-minute Christmas run, he had to pick up some of the orders he missed. He stops by the wine shop to get his Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque Fleur Blanc de Blancs champagne, and as lengthy as its name it also had a hefty long price tag. It was a rare chance of a Christmas time for them to be together and he wanted everything as posh as possible. On usual set up San would be with his family, spending the winter huddled up in front of the fireplace with a cup of a warm drink in his hand. And Wooyoung would have flown to wherever his parents decided on spending the holidays. Last year the family went on a month-long vacation at Lake Como and Wooyoung kept wishing he could have shared the enchanting view with San. This year, his parents went to spend Australia’s Summer instead of South Korea’s frozen season and he decided to stay behind.

Christmas Eve was horribly cold due to last night’s heavy snowstorm, the streets are filled with heaps of hardened snow making it harder for vehicles to pass so easily. Wooyoung’s itinerary included a stop for some additional Kobe Beef and to drop by the flower shop, of course the flora cannot be left out. He manages to do his errands without much delay. Driving back home, he gets a call from his Seonghwa Hyung. He hits the answer button from the car’s controller.

> “ _Young-Ah, you sure you don’t_ _wanna come over here?_
> 
> _“It’s okay hyung. I don’t really want_ _to disturb your sexy time with Hongjoong_ _hyung!”_
> 
> _“Yah! You jerk! Are you sure?_ _I invited the others, even Yunho is coming.”_
> 
> _“Ah really? *laughs* that giant._ _But really hyung, we’ll just visit your_ _new home next time. I think we’ll_ _spend this Christmas to ourselves._ _We don’t always have this chance.”_
> 
> _“Ok. Ok then. Behave and don’t_ _break the bed”_
> 
> _*laughs*_
> 
> _“We’ll try our best Hyung._ _Love you. Bye.”_

Arriving at home, San spots Wooyoung coming up from the driveway with a few boxes and a bouquet of what seems to be like white lilies. Passing through the clear glass window, their eyes meet. It makes the younger one give off a happy goofy smile. San was taking his restful time sitting by the living room, reading a book. He places the book down as he goes to open the door for Wooyoung. Spreading his arms open, he encourages the other man to combat the icy weather with some good skinship. Wooyoung puts down the stuff and runs into the mountain’s candid arms, the scent flowing on to his senses. San extends the embrace longer than usual as he dotingly pats the other man’s back. Receiving each other’s warmth, they let go after short moment later.

“What are you doing down here?”

“I was reading a book while waiting for you.”

Helping his friend, San picks up the bouquet and takes his book along as they march towards the kitchen. Preparing for a meaningful Christmas Eve dinner, Wooyoung has taken out the black and gold baroque plates allowing San to prepare their table. Lighting the Pomegranate Noir candle, placing the terribly steep champagne in an equally sparkling bucket and setting the flowers in a medusa Rhapsody Vase, San takes notice of the affluent pieces.

“Is there a need to have such expensive flowers? It’s just me.”

“Well I’m sorry, but these flowers were not meant for you. They are mine. These Casa Blanca Lilies mean beauty, class, and style. Like me. I just wanted to have them today. Plus, these stunning blooms’ heady fragrance matches the candle you picked that apparently costs more than the champagne.”

Wooyoung’s lecture got San wide eyed, but decided to let the matter go.

“You and your flowers.”

“You and your scents too.”

San ends his words in his adorable childish tone, chuckling as he admires how his best friend knows flowers so well. Wooyoung reciprocates knowing how San has this thing about perfumes and how they actually set the atmosphere.

The dinner progresses and to San’s surprise, Wooyoung had made their meals so well. He never knew Wooyoung was also skilled in the kitchen. He praises him for an impressive steak and wonders how he never knew that he was this cultured. The pretty boy plasters a smug expression as he revels on such a push and pull compliment. Growing up poor and now having the chance to enjoy whatever he can eat, Wooyoung developed the eye for good food. He loves preparing them as well. It is just that he enjoys being fed by people and San had always been the first one to offer making their meals. Except for today, Wooyoung took the initiative as he did not want to inconvenience the great mountain.

“What were you reading?”

“It’s a book Yunho recommended. Brida by Paulo Coelho. It talks about finding your soulmate.”

“So how do you find your soulmate?”

Wooyoung’s question had San explaining some interesting things. There was the tradition of the sun that advises a certain light in the person’s eyes; the tradition of the moon which says that there should be a light at the shoulder of your soulmate. Then there is that logic that finding your soulmate was about taking risks. The discussion had Wooyoung mentioning the time they first met.

“Oh, there was a bright fluorescent light bulb when I first saw you.”

“Thank god for the classroom’s lighting, I can somehow pass as a soulmate.”

They laugh over accidental things falling right in place as they indulge in this gifted night. In the tone of coincidental, Wooyoung takes his eyes to look out into the garden. It was still snowing and the smell of burning hard wood on the fireplace reminds him of something. His brain takes another trip back to his youth

A year after he met San was the turning point of Wooyoung’s life. It was likewise snowing that day and he was also making fire using firewood to light a stove. He recalls that late afternoon his abusive father just started beating him upon his arrival. It was the worst drunken state he had ever seen of his father. The young Wooyoung was badly bruised on that occasion and on that same night his biological father passed away due to cardiac arrest.

Still on his teens, Wooyoung was beginning to be unsound back then. His concept of a “normal life” has always been unsure because of his alcoholic father. Oftentimes he keeps questioning what normal life actually is, as he had not experienced it directly. The loss of a father had hurt him but there was also a sense of relief that got him somehow feeling neutral. It was too confusing and above it all Wooyoung’s fear remains. Tension and confrontation are things he had deliberately avoided all because of that same fear that things may turn violent.

Seeing how Wooyoung got lost in his thoughts at the sight of the falling snow, San clicks the wine glass together. The sound snaps Wooyoung out of his reverie. He looks forward and sees one of the reasons why he made it where he is now.

“I know I can’t mix my antibiotics with alcohol, but I promise this will be my last glass.”

San declares, eyes curved ever so beautifully along with his dimples on a full smile. Wooyoung raises his glass to signal a celebration. Cheers to this bright man that brings him sunshine. Cheers to this man who kept him going. Cheers to this man who only know how to give. Wooyoung’s heart felt a knot as he reminds himself how unrelenting and unconditional San’s love has become or has always been. It felt too great as it promises a forever and it somehow felt scary as well. He wrestles his affection to put on his most tender smile.

“Amicus Ad Aras, right?”

“Amicus Ad Aras. Always”

[𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅘𝅥𝅯](https://open.spotify.com/track/5SG8FKqWP6IJW3a496F8yV?si=hp7hpK_VQ1WOnyPieQJKoA)

**_Perfection, no one really knows if it actually exists or if human lives are capable of preserving this beauty._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! ^_^  
> I know their relationship is quite frustrating. And it's one blizzard after another.  
> Next chapter is among my most favorites ones. 
> 
> Thank you for giving time to read this. Have a blessed day ^_^


	10. Chapter 10

It had been two years since they had their last winter vacation, knowing they kind of screwed up on their relationship with a dear friend. Winter trips had always been a thing for Wooyoung and San. Typically, they would go for ski resorts and enjoy snowboarding, they even went on a little Niseko winter trip years ago with their Hyung. And even though both of them had actually spent the entire last month of the year together, they still went on to have their annual retreat. 

Given that San will not be able to take pleasure in such vigorous activities, Wooyoung opted to have it different for this occasion. He booked them to spend a weeklong stay in Jeju island instead. Of course, he also had to get the best accommodation for San. A suite of at least 1600sqft complete with two bathrooms, a separate sitting area vs the living room, a dining area aside from the dining room itself and an inviting King-sized bed; Wooyoung made sure they only stay on Marriott properties, nothing less.

Jeju island is commonly known to be visited on early spring for the view of its cherry blossoms and its vast yellow fields of canola. As exquisite as its spring blooms, the island also showcases a taintless winter wonderland. Entering their accommodation, the first thing Wooyoung checked was the quality of the bed and then the view by the bedroom, the scenery was cloaked in sheets of white. But it had that magnetic feel to it, making him a tiny bit nostalgic.

“It’s a shame the others couldn’t join us.”

San’s adorable pout rises into view. It would have been better if their old and newfound friends came to take this vacation with them.

“Well you did read how much I tried to convince them in the group chat right? But sadly, Seonghwa Hyung and Hongjoong hyung said they have a recording or so. Who knows? Maybe they ain’t over with their honeymoon sex stage yet. You know how vanilla Seonghwa hyung is.”

“Why are you such a prick?”

San rolls his eyes as Wooyoung sticks his tongue out for a blep.

“I actually hope at least Yunho and Mingi would be here. Yeosang still left me on read and Jongho did try to come with us but his agency did not even allow him at the last minute.”

“Well then, more time for us.”

San adoringly pinches Wooyoung’s cheeks. His reply was bold and sure, the swan’s determined nature might have remained in his persona. Wooyoung sighs, then he goes to rest his head in the bridge of the mountain’s shoulder.

They settle their stuff into the suite before lounging in the living room. San lays comfortably in the sofa, putting on a Netflix Christmas Movie. He thinks Christmas isn’t over until February comes along which meant another celebration for Wooyoung to be festive about. Shortly, the heartbreaker comes sitting beside San with a good warm cup of hot chocolate. San adores chocolates, most especially this kind of drink on such a cold season.

San’s movie of choice to burn time before dinner was ‘A Christmas Prince’ which was quite a fairytale. It was dreamy and surely whimsical. In line with such a syrupy film, Wooyoung was also taking the moment to cuddle up. Squishing their cheeks for a momentary cuteness, he loves the closeness of human warmth. They went on to finish the next two movies that came under the series. Wooyoung comments how the Prince kinda feels like Yunho.

“Perhaps Yunho was a Prince in his past life.”

San could be making the right guesses; we do not know. Another round of snowfall whirls and they unconsciously look over to the floor to ceiling glass wall for a lovely sight. The temperature had already dropped low at -15’C.

“Look at that view, isn’t snow so magical?”

Wooyoung says in awe, admiring the simple but noteworthy phenomenon. Maybe the reason why he loves this season was because it holds most of his precious memories. The harsh ones and the pleasant ones, just like how snow is. It was also the same phase where he got life’s worst and best offerings. The Winter season had probably built the Wooyoung he is now. He turns back to the man beside him, who was intently looking at him the whole time.

“Breathtaking indeed.”

San says, referring to Wooyung rather than the view. He gets a smack for being so cheesy, as Wooyoung’s face betrays him with a bright and blushing smile. Suddenly, San’s face light up, remembering something.

“Wait here.”

The mountain rises from their homely position as he flees into their bedroom. On his right hand was Tiffany Blue Box with a little white bow on top. He takes his seat and fidgets with the box before handing it to winsome Wooyoung.

“What’s this huh?”

In contrast to seizing the box in excitement, Wooyoung takes his time untying the ribbon. He clicks it open and as if his beam could not get any bigger and clearer, his lips feel like it was going to rip apart with such a huge smile. Inside it were dainty daisy earrings from the Love bugs collection.

“San why are you giving me this?”

Wooyoung lifts his head, diverting his sight back to San. The other man was just as smiley miley just like him.

“I’m sorry it came late, I had to get on a waitlist to order this. Remember when I used to pick daisies when we were in high school? Because aside from the fact that it was easy to find. I did not have much money to get something else. It was one easy way to make you smile back then.”

San explains. The other man was starting to get a bit sentimental. Daisies were very common, they bloom most of the year and can adapt to almost any environment. It was also the sacred flower of the Norse goddess Freya; it holds so much meaning. But among those, Wooyoung loved the simple daisy because it also connotes new beginnings.

“Yah! Why are you giving me a gift?”

“It’s a thank you. Because I always have you... a late merry Christmas, I guess?”

They flaunt another long hug before they get up heading for dinner. Walking down the hallway Wooyoung cracks a suggestive joke.

“Let’s try and test the Hot Tub later.”

Wooyoung teasingly raises a brow and San responds with a soft but denouncing strike on the head.

[𝄠𝄠𝄠𝄠](https://open.spotify.com/track/7xapw9Oy21WpfEcib2ErSA?si=qwx647UdTS-KzYFR66PwpA)

**\--------**

The condition at the island was uncompromising, it was still subzero. Today’s centigrade was recorded at the lowest of -19. Even with the rough winter coldness, Wooyoung was still determined to see the cafes he really wanted to visit. Today, Wooyoung wanted to visit the famous café, Untitled 2017. It was just around the complex of their accommodation, unlike his next target which would burn them at least an hour long of a drive.

Untitled 2017, is owned by the legendary Kwon Jiyong who mas more known as G-Dragon. Wooyoung was beyond excited to see this particular café. The architecture was truly innovative, Mingi would clearly rate this place highly. And perhaps Wooyoung badly wanted to see this place considering the designs were to his liking, even the hanging red rose which blooms open in the air was very appealing. He looks at it in pure amazement. San looks up as well, following his best friend’s trail of sight. The blooming flower in mid air was gratifying to watch. Looking at the motion and it feels like a calming exercise.

“You know I never really saw you hand out a red rose ever.”

San veers his eyes to Wooyoung, curious as to why he never really saw his friend with such kind of flower. Even when they were young he never heard Wooyoung talk about roses.

“Do you know about Adonis and Aphrodite’s parting? The red rose?”

Tilting his head lightly to the side, Wooyoung asks back. With his cute pursed lips, San shakes his head admitting he had never heard of the story. Then he sips on his cup filled with warm tea. Wooyoung sits upright before he justifies the story of the Greek couple. Adonis was a mere mortal that was greatly treasured by the goddess of love, Aphrodite. The goddess had always warned the mortal of the dangers of hunting, but it was futile. On one of Adonis’s trip he was killed with the tusk of a wild boar. As he groans in pain, Aphrodite heard her lover and bolted towards Adonis but she was too late. On her run she cut her foot on a white rose, her blood flowed which then tainted the pristine flower. The white rose turned red. It was then believed that it was the very first red rose to ever grace the earth. This couple’s love story was a chronicle about life and death and the succession of the seasons for how the Adonis lived.

“I mean roses do symbolize love because Aphrodite had loved Adonis more than anything else. But the origin of the red rose comes from a grim romance. I just can’t look at a red rose and not think of how it came from a sad happening. How painful it must have been to lose someone like that. Well there was also the anemone flower in their story that had a darker meaning, but yeah.”

Wooyoung’s explanation and knowledge over these matters had never ceased to blow San away. The graceful young man who also had the beauty of Adonis looks up again and into the blooming flower.

“So maybe we should give red roses when we part with someone we love? When we say good bye yet the love remains?”

“That was deep.”

The insightful words San offered made Wooyoung think on such a reasoning. It was logical but it was against how people perceive the fragrant flora. The rose is the queen of the garden, to give it a different meaning was creative but now it puts the flower from being one given on a festive celebration to an event of farewell.

They stay longer on the Café, Wooyoung takes his feet to check on the displays on one of K-pop’s royalty. He remembered, he was only a decade old when G- Dragon released the song ‘Heartbreaker’, back then he still had the passion for dancing and he even learned its choreography. Wooyoung takes notice of the cute merchandise, stickers, mugs and tumblers all with flower designs on it. One of the pieces had something written on it.

“Youth is Flower”

Wooyoung reads it with an inspiriting tone. He takes note how both Youth and Flowers do not last long. But they have a phase where it blooms ever so beautifully. Good things never last for long but it was enough to have them exquisitely archived in our memories.

Still sitting in their table, San was browsing in his phone, reading articles about the ballet season. Most of the articles he saw gave good reviews, while some did not. Which was fair, not everyone feels the same over things and we all have our preferences. Most of them still mentions him and how it would have been different if he was there too.

San also feels the same, he was glad the production went well but every now and then his mind wanders on how it would have gone if he was still the Swan for this piece. He breathes out a heavy sigh as he reminds himself. He cannot lurk in such feelings of regret. When life gives you a dead end, you find another way to reach your destination. And San knew he still had his options.

Across the place, San observes a red-haired woman sitting on the opposite table. The woman notices him and went over with a polite and surprised expression.

“San? Choi San?”

The woman asks. The great mountain carefully stands up to greet the woman then he gives out a gracious hug. The gorgeous woman takes a seat to continue their chanced encounter. Wooyoung who was at the counter paying for the merch sees the scene and hurriedly took his purchases, going back to his best friend. He stands between the two in ominous aura, eyebrow up, questioning the random woman who took his seat.

“Oh Wooyung, this is Bella. We had a photoshoot together back in autumn.”

“Hi. Pleased to meet you.”

The introduction didn’t even change Wooyoung’s mood. The woman was too friendly and too touchy, even for someone who ain’t too well accustomed to Korea’s modesty. She kept touching San’s hand as she affirms some of the topics they discuss. Wooyoung pulls a chair, sitting with his arms crossed. San and the foreign woman were talking in English, quite a long talk with hints of flirting. It annoys Wooyoung more. Not a moment short, he decided to cut their merry time. He declares on going back to the suite. They bid goodbye with a rather amorous than friendly hug. It was at this point that Wooyoung could not stop his eyes from rolling back.

“Wow San, you smell amazing.”

The woman cites as she releases the hold.

“Of course, I bought him that very expensive perfume.”

Wooyoung’s words came out in a jabber with a tone of contempt. How dare such a woman enjoy that luxurious scent? He thinks to himself as he valiantly entwines his hands with his treasured Choi San. Then they walk out of the Café.

**\--------**

Summer was awfully bad, they should have expected that the same immense energy will also drip down to winter. Last night, Wooyoung was tossing and turning in his slumber. He stayed up late reading on his phone and ended up being restive. It was quite unfortunate to have such listless energy on their last day at the island.

Today’s agenda was a quick stop by Gongbech which was a Café owned by BTS Suga’s brother. The place was very tranquil, the spaces were wide open and the additional area that had a good view of the winter sea made them feel relaxed. After that it was off to San’s request, take a short trail at Mount Hallasan before they head back to Seoul on the next day.

Thank god the snow had not fallen today, knowing that they would actually be out walking in the winter weather. Of course they didn’t really take themselves up the long trail. San still needs to avoid extreme environment; he says he just wanted to greet his mountain ancestors. The snow filled pathway feels like a movie, lining the way were the endangered Korean Fir trees which were closely protected. Everything their eyes laid on were like part of the heavens, white, bright and clear.

Standing still and admiring the captivating view along with his beloved one, San links their fingers together. He was feeling more confident and a tad bit more hopeful as the days passed. He pats the back of Wooyoung’s hand, then he mirthfully points out an ice formation down at the trees which resembles a star. Wooyoung does not say a word. But instead, he paints a wistful smile in his lips. They walk further, but not too far. 

“Maybe next time we should have our winter vacation overseas. Maybe somewhere in northern Europe!”

San was a beaming sunshine. He stops on his tracks and turns to face his best friend. The smile was blinding, budding, and sanguine. It was a fanciful set up, everything seems to have fallen in their right order. Moved by the inspiring place, San leans closer gently holding the heartbreaker just right below the ear, his thumb resting by the side of Wooyoung’s cheek. Closing the space in between them, San plants a sweet and loving kiss over the lips of the man he profoundly adores.

Wooyoung accepts the kiss, while San waits for him to reciprocate. But he doesn’t, Wooyoung doesn’t kiss him in return. San leans back, confused but keeps his unwavering composure. Once again, he tries his luck with Wooyoung.

“Young Ah, I love You.”

San’s voice was felicitous as always. Just like the first time he daringly set his feelings into words. It was as if this wasn’t the hundred time he made this confession, hoping to receive a better outcome each time. The other man takes a long deep breath, releasing it ever so heavily. With such, San further gets himself baffled. Wooyoung swallows back before opening his mouth to say something.

“If I were to say ‘I love you too’ what else do you expect to happen?”

Wooyoung had a blank expression, his tone coming off unconcerned. He continues.

“How insufferable can you be San? Let me make it clear. True love isn’t real. You know very well how my mom lived with my dad right? And he was her great love. Things change! Even the most beautiful things in life change. This beautiful winter happened but it had to kill the flowers first. And this snow that we love to look at, the moment you touch it with your bare hands you’d feel the unbearable pain of it being cold and then it melts and slips away. Beautiful things do not last. They don’t last forever San.”

“Wooyoung why are you suddenly like this?”

San’s heart starts to ache. Issues over broken promises and Wooyoung’s experience with his dad being a disappointment is resurging again. His inability to trust was back in the system. Where did this unexpected outburst come from? The vacation has been going very well.

“Save yourself San! Trust me, you don’t really wanna be with me. Have you read the things going on in sns? People are now digging up the incident and your injury. Some of your colleagues who probably know what happened are throwing you off by posting cryptic things. They do not wish you well now that you are not in the theatre! They are very much happy to take your place. Let me remind you. Why were you in this state anyway? IT WAS BECAUSE OF ME!!!”

Wooyoung raises his voice, frustrated, eyes swarming with tears. No, San has not seen any of the sns posts that went around for the last two days. The thought of his fellow dancers, turning against him makes him feel like bleeding from the inside. The same people he trusted, helped, and loved were not on his side anymore. Maybe they never were, and it makes him feel worse than how his injury left him useless.

Seething with anger and how things are affecting San, Wooyoung blames himself again. Things would not have been like this if his past obsessed rich kid lover did not come at him back in the club. San would not have been injured, he would not have lost his role and he wouldn’t be at this uncertain junction in his life. More than anything else Wooyoung feels at loss. How can fate ruin the people he loves the most? How?

“Young-Ah, there’s no need to go off like this. It’s okay.”

“No, It’s not okay San. I can’t be with you. You can’t continue asking we end up together. Because we can’t!”

The denial Wooyoung puts forth was getting San annoyed, this same reasoning is beginning to be tiresome. San tries to keep his voice low and neutral, but he somehow fails.

“If they wanna talk about me, let them. It’s so unfair Wooyoung. You’re taking the same old excuse again. I’m not buying it. You call random guys your lover but never me. We can’t stay like this Wooyoung. We aren’t just friends. We’re not even secretly in love with each other. We are all over in love with each other.”

San puts a heavy emphasis on his last note. He takes a rest to wipe the tear that had fallen from his right eye, it was cold and painful. The winter heightens every moment. Then he proceeds with his thoughts.

“You know what comes after snow? Flowers. Spring. You can’t take one season and forget about the others. Receiving so much love from everyone but to condemn true love, that’s not right. You can’t keep me at bay for your convenience but never give me the thing I also deserve. I deserve labels too Wooyoung. I wanna be called your boyfriend, your lover, not just your ever-trusted Choi San.”

He began to sob, making loud convulsive gasps. Covering his mouth with the back of his hand while his eyes turn into forlorn crescent moons, San was evidently hurt. Wooyoung also felt a hard blow in his chest, he was also suffering. And to see San in this childlike state of tears was something he never wanted to inflict upon the one he love. But he was also confused, to be at such a crossroad and decide whether to continue with a foreboding feel or wish for a preposterous make pretend of the present. It felt like there was no right answer, it was more of choosing which lesser evil there was. Wooyoung’s mind and decision was just completely clouded.

“I love you. I truly do. But what if I’m also like my dad? Alcoholic? Irrational? What if I just start hurting you? The last thing I want is to ruin you. I have constantly done it. I’m a ticking time bomb San. I don’t know how many more issues I’m going to unearth and how many more will come after me. So let’s not. Love has never brought me that serenity and devotion that songs are made of. No. Never.”

Wooyoung fights his tears and bites his lips from giving away. He had to be firm, for himself and for San. The other man does not fight back anymore. San could not find the strength to retaliate. He takes a step back down the trail, Wooyoung follows suit. They walk back to the car. The drive back to the hotel was tight-lipped, an hour-long drive of stillness. They were left to their own minds and San very much despise that.

Entering their suite, Wooyoung opens the door with the card. He holds it open for San before taking a step to go to the dining room. He stops on his heels as San finally breaks the silence.

“Wooyoung”

San calls his best friend. Wooyoung shifts around and gets pushed back to the wall. In an instant, a pair of lips were against his own. It felt demanding, mad and hungry. But it was also tender and heart shaking. San presses himself tighter, closer against Wooyoung, feeling each other’s body. San somehow opens his eyes and plants a burning gaze to the other man. The desire was there. It was building up fast and hot, commanding that it be relieved at once.

San moves his hand to the side travelling downward. Wooyoung feels his body go weak, his walls crumble at the delicate touch. He kisses back, vehement, with all his heart. And as his feelings overflow, his being gets more sensitive with each clicking second.

They continue the frenzied exchange of warmth, but not for long. Wooyoung grabs San by the limbs, making sure he stays away from the injury. He carries San to the bedroom, settling him by the tip of the bed. The mountain looks up at Wooyoung with an insatiable urge. San pulls him down to the bed. The curtains were drawn to side, exposing a view of a dark but clear night sky. San and Wooyoung share the love in tangled intimate arms while the cold winter holds the fort as their witness.

**_Love is like a fleeting scent, an illusion we all make believe._ **

**_Love is like a flower, a beauty that doesn’t last long._ **

**_Love is like the cold snow, even with tender warmth it slips away_ **

**_[𝄠𝄠𝄠𝄠](https://open.spotify.com/track/4uKSnjtth8eXVtkB7LiowM?si=zbu43v3FTSiuzSfK-h-JTw) _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Sorry this chapter wasn't posted as I scheduled.  
> This is my favorite chapter actually.  
> The push and pull, the tiresome excuses and the unrelenting hope. I love it.  
> Also, my love for roses had to make its scene as well and my most favorite Eden song too. hihi ^_^  
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Also Happy New Year! Wishing you all happier skies and safer grounds for the year ahead.


	11. Chapter 11

A frosty morning weather either gets people dreaming of tales or drive us for some solitary parade. We can amuse ourselves with such a comfy and sheltered moment or we can rest ourselves to have some impassive time. For San it was definitely the latter. As much as he hates the thought of filling the silence, he did not have that much of an option. Besides, he has been living by himself ever since he was a teenager. There was no room to entertain gloomy thoughts, not when you have been conversant with it long enough that you should be numb at this point.

San paces towards his vanity and picks up his perfume. He sprays it in the back of his ear and in the pulses of his wrists. The scent he chose today, out of habit he had picked up the one gifted by Wooyoung. As much as the fragrance of this one matches very well with the season it was also ferrying the anecdotes of snuggly winter memories. He examines the bottle, feeling a pinch down in his chest. San takes more spritz, wanting to envelope himself with that same warmness he misses.

Today, he had to arrange and process some papers. His appointment was at the area of Gwanghwamun, near the palace. Taking his necessities and putting it in his bag, he takes a breather as he looks at his crutch. He cannot wait to get rid of this.

Yesterday he had to get his treatment, it was working out well for him. The doctor actually said that the recovery could actually be less than the assumed four months. That thought made San’s mood a little bit brighter. He was starting to feel lively like usual again. The timing was perfect. Maybe there was really no need to beat himself out of fear of not having to do ballet again. The heavens were still on his side, or maybe it had always been on his favor. He just never noticed how it worked silently for the goodness of his life.

Today’s schedule also went well. San’s mom would be happy and be so proud of his son once she gets the word. Mothers always believe that their kids were destined for greatness. To see them achieve their dreams, find love, start a family, and live in simple happiness; it was all that parents wish for their child. Perhaps San also knew that this wish would only be attained if he himself would work hard for his own happiness too. Yes, he deserves his happiness too.

After getting his documents, it was still rather early, and San wanted to have a little healing time. He would have gone to Cheonggyecheon again, but the freezing weather and flowing stream does not sound too inviting at this point. He called out a cab, heading for Yeonhuidong. A warm food sounds very appealing to him. Plus, It is always a good idea to visit a golden retriever in it’s habitat every now and then. San was back at the green door of Yunho’s café. He enters the place and to his surprise a few familiar faces were present. A sweet smile erupts in his face.

“Wow! Mingi and Jongho are here!”

“San Hyung!”

Jongho was the first to call their friend’s name. He stands up and guides San into the chair beside Yunho.

“No one told me the group would be camping out here at my store.”

“We should have called the couple and Yeosang too.”

Mingi blurts out his thoughts and Jongho looks at him in wonder at the mention of a name.

“Where’s Wooyoung?”

“Ahhh, he’s busy over their company.”

San mentions. Finally some company to avoid being left to his own thoughts. He has always been thankful for having so many good people in his life and his circle of trusted people has grown more on the past months. San appreciates this benevolent gift of the heavens. The catch up and discussions they shared were quite some news as well. Jongho is bound to release a new album by spring. Mingi and Yeosang are in talks to develop a property. And Yunho is planning on opening another café.

“Let me help you on your new Café. You should let me help!”

“Mingi, of course that’s a given. I will definitely ask for your help. I just need to check on my finances and what concept I’ll be going for in that new place.”

“Oh hyung, you won’t be doing the vibe of this Café? That’s a shame, I like the chill vibes here.”

Jongho opines, being someone whose veins runs with americano. He has found Yunho’s little place very calming, like a little hideaway from the bustling city life in Seoul.

Mingi and Jongho had to leave earlier for a schedule, leaving San and Yunho to themselves. The mountain looks over the display rack of the flowers. There were a few, but one was exceptionally standing out from the others. Among the choices of flowers was an elegant Tulip.

“Yah, Yunho why would you keep an expensive tulip here? You sure it would sell out before it dies?”

“Oh that was a special order. I had that shipped here this morning.”

The memory of a Tulip was among those San deeply treasures. Back in his senior year, his family had already moved to their next assignment. The next destination was no longer within the country, not even on the same continent. His family was booked to move to the United States. This time San knew he wanted to stay back, to no longer have his life on the move. He did not want to ask how long they’ll be staying like he always do. Instead what he asked for was for him to have his life.

On his graduation day, not a single family member was around. The only one he had was Wooyoung, who gave him a stunning huge bouquet of imported Tulips. Everyone else had a simple set of flowers in their hands, but San had very expensive and eye-catching pieces from the Netherlands. It was a mix of Angelique, Zurel and Big Smile Tulips, a soft but strong array of colors assembled in harmony.

Wooyoung was already adopted as a Jung by that time. Which meant he already had the money to burn and he had always been generous to share what he acquired with his best friend. Their Seonghwa Hyung was also there. Despite being busy with his training, he made time to attend his dongsaeng’s special day. San can still remember how thankful he was for that instance, the two had never failed to make him feel part of their lives. They were a family, brothers by heart. San was pretty happy he made the decision to stay, he was glad he continued his life with his friends.

Half an hour later of pestering Yunho for a soup despite the fact that the place does not serve it and eventually getting what he want, San bids goodbye to his giant friend. It was snowing when he was walking over to the train station. He didn’t want to take a cab at such a time because the traffic would have gone bad on this late afternoon.

Walking by himself on a familiar path, it all felt different. Maybe he was so used to having Wooyoung around that it felt empty. Being by himself was like a figment of his fears materialized. How many days had it been? A week? Weeks? Since they had to part ways? Since San finally made the move to end their affiliation.

Taking the train, it feels terribly unnatural. It had been long since he took public transportation because Wooyoung had always been at his side during his recovery. San swallows hard, pushing his feelings back. He cannot possibly break down on a public place, right? Who would have thought that they’d end up on differing times, and quite possibly Wooyoung was right. Beautiful things do not last and forever was never promised.

San arrives at his train stop. Noticing how his own eyes had already levied treason against him, he immediately stands up and brushes his face with the sleeves of his coat. A few streams have unknowingly left his eyes. Some passengers have observed his condition while some are pretending to be oblivious, not wanting to be bothered by fickle human emotions. The walk to his place felt short. Unlike how he had left this morning, his resolute mentality to not allow himself to be bothered was gone. His mind had already been taken over by his worries. San was overthinking every single thing again, charging himself for plans he had failed to take, even the things that were over and above his authority. Nothing ever falls right in its place. Life has its way of taking what you thought you finally have. 

He enters his home and like fever dream, a vision of Wooyoung running up to his open arms blinds his sight. San loves how Wooyoung innately rushes to his arms. However, he does not remember being called by the other man in the same indulgent behavior. He goes into the living room and places his bag down at the side table. San makes his way for the usual night routine, washing up, tidying a bit, checking his indoor plants, making dinner, and reading on his book. It was nearly midnight when he decided to retire for bed. Slowly moving towards his room, a knock echoes from his door.

**\--------**

**_ The day they came back from Jeju Island _ **

Wooyoung had his car deposited on one of those services that keeps your car in the airport vicinity for when you return. The drive back from Gimpo Airport to Seoul was still appallingly closed mouth. Despite sharing a rather concupiscent night together, they were back to their dreadful state of stillness. Taking San home, they have previously discussed that they’ll drop by his pace to get more stuff before coming back to the Jung’s residence. Wooyoung pulls up to the building of San’s apartment.

“We can’t continue this anymore.”

San’s abrupt line got the other in deeply stunned.

“What do you mean?”

Mouth hanging open and eyes wide in panic; Wooyoung replies with a question.

“We just can’t be friends anymore. After everything, we both know we weren’t really just friends. I don’t want this situationship anymore.”

There was a pause in San’s contention.

“Let’s no longer see each other. Even as friends.”

The mountain’s voice was faltering, the strain could not be masked. Keeping his eyes at front and not even looking at Wooyoung, even he himself was having qualms over the things he just said.

“No San. Wait. We can’t just do that. You said you’ll always be here. We promised we’d always here for each other. Amicus Ad Aras right?”

Wooyoung unfastens his seatbelt and moves his body to face the man in the passenger seat. The jitters strike him as San quickly counters back.

“Why do you think I stayed in Seoul? It was because I knew I wanted to be with you.”

“But I didn’t ask that from you. I would never ask you to stay for me.”

The irony in Wooyoung’s words made San scoff.

“What’s holding you back Wooyoung? I don’t see the logic of whatever we have now. You don’t want me in your life but you don’t wanna lose me. There’s no point to this anymore. Don’t give me your lame excuse of not wanting to cause me trouble. At this point I feel like you’re just too sacred of possibly getting hurt. It’s not just about my welfare, it was also about your fear of suffering. You can’t keep me gravitating around you and only to be disposed off at your whim. I’m tired of this Wooyoung.”

San takes a deep breath as he gathers more energy to continue his point. Finally facing Wooyoung, his expression was obscured with hurt. San then proceeds to talk.

“Loving you was not my voluntary option. I just knew my whole being had to love you, like I needed you more than anything else. But me leaving now, is finally my deliberate choice… You can take my words as if I’m giving you a red rose.”

There was poison in San’s tone, directed to Wooyoung and to himself as well. How do you find the courage to say goodbye to the person you love the most? Even when the feelings remain running in your heart and coursing through your build? We all feel that chivalrous spirit of being a lone moon revolving around someone. It seems all too good until you get tired, forsaken, going round and round in dismal motion. San was yearning for something more, something more secure, something stable.

Wooyoung remains silent, tears begun to roll off his eyes. He also had to keep his uncompromising point of view. A minute of screeching silence and San finally opens his door, takes his stuff from the back and heads to his place, without even looking back.

Wooyoung throws his head back to rest, his hands frantically hitting the steering wheel in anger. He was plaintively denying the situation. There was no way, San would decide on this. This could not be real. Wooyoung remains unmoved, tears matching the falling crystal snow.

[𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮](https://open.spotify.com/track/6cf0GCjuqAwlfFDrNLlhtw?si=ngiKCO4ARP2-hBhaeoAUSg)

**\--------**

‘People who said that money can’t buy happiness doesn’t know where to shop.’ Such a line was among those Wooyoung would use against people when they say otherwise. How do you fight a subdued day with a broken heart? You can wallow in pain or you can stop being sad by spending money. He was not really the type to randomly go on a shopping spree just because he wanted too. Wooyoung’s purchases had always been well thought of. Even his recently acquired car was chosen all because a sports car would not be able to transport more than one friend nor carry supplies for a café. He only needed one working thing that would last for a long time. His only exception for splurging was (1) when he buys flowers and (2) when he gifts other people. But today he just wanted to recklessly shower himself with material things.

His parents were still out of the country, the two had decided to extend their trip and explore New Zealand. Wooyoung loves his privacy but their home was too devoid of existence that he decided to go out. Anyway, the boutiques were just a few minutes away from home. Parading the shops and buying things he ain’t so sure he needs, Wooyoung was plainly burning money. He was probably holding on to his fifteenth paper bag when he felt his throat go dry and thirsty. Some say shopping is also a form of cardio and perhaps Wooyoung’s biceps will form better carrying all his designer stuff.

By the corner of the street was a café imported from Los Angeles that was more known for pancakes and coffee. Wooyoung goes in and the first thing he ordered was a chocolate frappe. The staff was somehow surprised with such an order on a freezing point of the year. Out of habit, Wooyoung’s feet had led him to the place that had San’s favorite chocolate drink. He also realized that even the first order he said was not even for him, it was for San. The mountain loves his chocolates and even though people think of him ever so kindly, he never shares his favorite drink. Well except for Wooyoung, he had that privilege. San wanted Wooyoung to also appreciate the things he likes.

Not wanting to inconvenience the staff who already placed his order, Wooyoung had to make do with a cold and sweet drink during the frosty wintertime. It was not even nonfat, but having it now got him pining for the past. Back in their school days, San was always gifted with chocolates on valentines. But he never accepts them despite his love for it. Instead, he would take all of Wooyoung’s food and shove them into his mouth. Wooyoung also recalls that time San had a bad chocolate phase that even his perfume smelled too sweet. He remembers how he would sniff it so hard when San calls him to his arms and then feel a bit too overwhelmed when they let go.

Sipping on his drink, the smell more than the taste reminds him of San. And Wooyoung had been avoiding his reality. If it were not for his worries of taking alcohol again, he would have hit one of the nearby clubs. But he had already promised, he did not want to break the pledge he made on behalf of his treasured one. It was enough that the past happenings had done them no good. Wooyoung swore not to taste another alcoholic beverage ever again.

He walks back to his car after finishing his cup, the snow was whirling. It was a sight he always adored. Wooyoung stretches out his hand, allowing pieces of it to lay resting in his palm. Possibly, the weather was far below zero that they somehow stayed in his hand. Little pieces gather in his palm but given its composition and the warmth Wooyoung holds they still melt away. Like how it was supposed to be. Certain things never steer away from their true nature.

Arriving at home, Wooyoung noticed that the right tire of his car at the back has seemingly been turned rather flat. What an unfortunate time. He enters the door and the sight of the plain white walls make the place look colder or perhaps it was just his mood. Even with the enthusiastic shopping time, Wooyoung still could not escape his truth. He lost San. He placed his purchases at the foot of his bed and takes them out one by one. Some were not even to his taste, several stuff felt like he picked it out for other people. Which was somehow great, now he has back up gifts. One of the bags had a perfume box of lavender and pink hues. Wooyoung takes a whiff and a smile forms in his lips. Despite it being made for women, he was sure he picked this out because the scent felt perfect for San on the next season. The scent reminds him of sweet candy flowers and bouquets on springtime. As if there was another season to spend together, Wooyoung must be wishful thinking when he paid for it. 

[𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮](https://open.spotify.com/track/55pN3kkk9Zor8mlZhyxHwp?si=--GlW2CVSQqZxaj1A2fz1w)

And like a splash of cold water, Wooyoung realizes how his thoughts were all filled by the same man he was trying not to think about, the same actuality he was potently trying to not be reminded of. Perhaps the more you resist on your thoughts the more it occupies you. Wooyoung was changing for his sleepwear when his phone buzzed. It was his Seonghwa hyung.

> _“Oh, Hyung!”_
> 
> _“I’m at the driveway. Let me in you rude kid.”_

The sound of his Seonghwa Hyung’s voice allows Wooyoung’s smile to recur. The younger brother does a few clicks on his phone to control the gates, then he bolts toward the main door. He leaps towards his hyung the moment he sees him to which Seonghwa overreacts as if he was hurt.

“Oh, what brings you here? And how do you know I’m home?”

“I bought some supplements for my parents and then I bought some more for your mom and stepdad too. And yes, I have access in your CCTV.”

Seonghwa’s joke deserves him a smack in the chest from a tantrum throwing Wooyoung.

“Just kidding! Hongjoong said, that Mingi said, that Yunho said that San was in café looking a bit down and surprisingly you weren’t there. Why would he be there by himself when he was supposed to be here recovering with you?”

The Hyung was speaking in such a fast note, it made Wooyoung question if he was really a vocalist or a rapper. Wooyoung takes a deep breath preparing for an answer, but the hyung answers his own question even before Wooyoung can address it.

“That means you guys fought again. So, you must be home. You’re always home when you fight.”

“I hate you Hyung.”

Wooyoung helps his Hyung as he takes the supplement gifts, and they walk towards the kitchen. Placing them at the bar counter, they sit at the stool chairs and Seonghwa probes again.

“So??? Aren’t you gonna share what happened? Or there’s no need to talk but it because you think you’ll make up soon?

“No Hyung. I don’t think we’ll make up anytime soon. No. Not ever.”

Wooyoung admits with a heavy sigh.

“San and I broke up. Well no, we didn’t really break up because technically we never really made anything official.”

Fidgeting with his hands and looking down at them, Wooyoung adds. Making things clear and pouring salt all over his own wounds, as if admitting the reality now could change it all. Maybe yes but such would need material actions for it to happen.

Their conversation deepens, going on for hours as the younger one finally opens to his hyung, what happened, the situation at hand, his concerns and how things are headed. What if he was not capable of that serious kind of love San was asking for? What if he cannot really commit to something like that? What if his life was just a plain magnet of bringing misfortune to his loved ones? Hearing it all, Seonghwa could not help but somehow roll his eyes only to bring his sense back at the sight of a tearing up Wooyoung. He understands his friend’s worries but he also wanted to smack both San and Wooyoung in the face.

“I love you both. I really do. But you two need to weed out all the issues in your life especially when you can actually settle this matter. You got to stop living in worries. There are things beyond our control and there are things we can actually do.”

Seonghwa lifts his hand and lightly pets his annoying but loving little brother in the head before adding more of his remarks.

“Don’t wait till you feel like you’re running out of time for you to begin believing in faith again. Believe me, I know how that felt. When the skies send you a blessing you do not ask for whys, you just take it and say thank you. Take note that you can only find true love by risking it all. Difficulties, pain, and questions will always be there. Life never pledged us an easy life, but what you can guarantee is happiness and that’s by being with the one who truly loves you and the one you love as well. I have never seen anyone else complement each other’s lives like you two do. Like you were made to meet each other, like the world just knew you belong to each other.”

Still sympathetically holding his friend, Seonghwa’s words made Wooyoung look up. The realness of his hyung made him realize why he was the heart of their pack. It was at this point that a tear finally fled and rolled down his cheek. Looking at the corner of the bar counter, Seonghwa takes something and hands it to Wooyoung.

“Young-ah you are capable of love and you deserve to be loved, genuinely. Don’t deny yourself of that”

Wooyoung lifts his hand and grabs the item in his hyung’s hands.

**_The heart recognizes what the mind cannot comprehend._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for still being with me.  
> The last 4 chapters will be released by next week.  
> btw, Wooyoung new Perfume is like one of my perfume goals.  
> hihihi
> 
> Hope you all had some restful holidays. Thank you for reading and have a blessed day.


	12. Chapter 12

San arrives at his train stop. Noticing how his own eyes had already levied treason against him, he immediately stands up and brushes his face with the sleeves of his coat. A few streams have unknowingly left his eyes. Some passengers have observed his condition while some are pretending to be oblivious, not wanting to be bothered by fickle human emotions. The walk to his place felt short. Unlike how he had left this morning, his resolute mentality to not allow himself be bothered was gone. His mind had already been taken over by his worries. San was overthinking every single thing again, charging himself for plans he had failed to take, even the things that were over and above his authority. Nothing ever falls right in its place. Life has its way of taking what you thought you finally have.

He enters his home and like fever dream, a vision of Wooyoung running up to his open arms blinds his sight. San loves how Wooyoung innately rushes to his arms. However, he does not remember being called by the other man in the same indulgent behavior. It was always him who called for Wooyoung. He goes into the living room and places his bag down at the side table. San makes his way for the usual night routine, washing up, tidying a bit, checking his indoor plants, making dinner, and reading on his book. It was nearly midnight when he decided to retire for bed. Slowly moving towards his room, a knock echoes from his door.

Not even looking through the peep hole, San complacently opens the door. Before him was a very familiar man in a nightwear set of gingham pattern with red linings. Breathing heavily and clutching a paper bag with his left hand was Wooyoung, who looked like he just bolted out of his bed.

“What are you…”

San faintly asks, puzzled as to why Wooyoung was at his doorstep at such an ungodly hour. The pajama clad man precipitously puts his hand up, which made San take a sudden step back. Wooyoung extends the paper bag between them, eyes sharp and focused, like he was on some serious mission and the bag holds the key to their life.

“What’s this?”

Unknown to what it was, San slowly takes it into his hand anyway. Still panting, Wooyoung gets a full breath, culling all his remaining faith as he makes a confession.

“It’s an Annick Goutal perfume, the La Violette. In your illusion of scents, it means you’ll be using this to capture the memories you’ll be having on Spring. In my language of flowers, a white Violette flower means ‘take a chance’.”

Wooyoung swallows back his piling up feelings, the coincidental purchase of the scent played well. He then opens his mouth to proceed.

“I love you San. So, I’m really hoping you still feel the same and you’re willing to spend the upcoming springtime with me? Together. As in like as my boyfriend? Or did you ask for the term lover? I’m sorry I couldn’t remember what you specifically said back then and I’m sorry it was rather hard to find a flowershop at su...”

Wooyoung started off his lines sounding confident, like what he was saying was already predestined by him. But his words began to trail off, coming out as nervous and indefinite. It was then that he got silenced by San. The great mountain places them in the kind of stillness that he preferred, with their lips adjoined together. The heartbreaker, who we should no longer be calling a heartbreaker, quickly accepted the blessing. And not to be a tease or what as they share a kiss, Wooyoung could not help but contain his happiness as a smile radiates from his face. They halt their moment to look at each other. San looks at his most beloved one. His mouth puts on a restrained but cute thankful pout before snatching Wooyoung again, tightly, in his arms.

“I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank You.”

Was the only thing San managed to say, he could not believe this kind of windfall, like it was better than winning the lottery. He knew it was a long shot for Wooyoung to take this audacious stride. San was not really putting on much hope on it. But here they are now. Maybe some strong notions can actually possibly relent.

“No. It was me who should thank you. The Choi San I love, I know he never wanted to give up on me.”

Wooyoung was now tenderly holding San’s face, eyes all clear and giddy. How lovely is it to finally receive this love. San places his hand at Wooyoung’s waist, gesturing for him to come inside as they have been displaying way too much affection in the hallway and a cleaner who passed by just gave them boring judging looks. Wooyoung takes a step forward but gets suddenly reminded of something.

“Oh wait. I need to tell Seonghwa Hyung he can go home now. I’ll just take a cab back home.”

“Seonghwa Hyung is here?”

“He drove me here. He handed me his car key to go here because I got my IX3 flat, but I was too emotional to drive myself. So, I asked him to do it for me.”

Wooyoung pulls out his phone and San takes it from his hand.

“Let me call him, I’ll tell him you’ll be busy taking care of me the whole night”

San teases, eyebrow up and lips smearing a devilish smirk. The now lover boy could not help but laugh at such a cool but pretentious demeanor. Wooyoung happily plants a light kiss on his now boyfriend’s lips.

“Sure, I’d love that.”

In the book San was reading, it mentioned how soulmates are found. The traditions and signs felt illusive and musing. But for them there was no need to see any light by the shoulder or a light in any eyes. San and Wooyoung knew it was enough to know that their hearts only feel at ease in each other’s embrace.

**\--------**

The month of January always tend to have the worst snowfall and the most inconveniencing cold. It was somehow getting on San’s nerves how the weather was not cooperating today. It was almost the end of the month, which meant San is almost done for this round of therapy. He has been diligently receiving his treatments and Wooyoung has been extending his time to accompany him on his schedules. Well except for today, there was a very important meeting at the corporation that Wooyoung just cannot miss. And out of all good days the winter fall had to be extra discommoding today.

San pushes the elevator, the touch made him snicker. Even the cold metal button felt too much of a burden to him. To say that he was sappy was an understatement. In the past week, he had expected that he and his now boyfriend Wooyoung would be spending more time together. However, other than his therapy schedules, they have not really taken an official date, nor have they entrusted the news to their friends. They wanted to say it to them personally and over some hearty meals.

In addition, San and Wooyoung had a firm decision to keep the fact undisclosed from their parents for the time being. Wooyoung knew he needed to say it at a strategical time and at a very cheery mood as he was not entirely sure how his mom and dad would react over it. In line with that decision, San has officially moved back to his place. It was too jeopardizing to stay together under one roof, the chances of blowing up the secret was way too high.

“Does it hurt here?”

The therapist softly asks San as his limb gets a little more stretch. The mountain’s face twists like a knot. The given pressure made him hold his breath, wrinkle his nose and purse his lips back. Perhaps things are still on the way. His recovery and road back to the stage is still on the works, but at least he knew he was moving closer to it.

“Yes, there’s still some pain on that area.”

San answers back as he lowers his leg on the ground.

“Noted on that, but are you actually planning to participate in the theatre’s next season?”

Although the question was a forward looking one, it only made him remember his missed opportunity. His could have been current masterpiece is ending tonight. It was actually extended as the reception was still good despite his absence. Swan Lake’s last show night has been set, he even received a ticket for it. San had been pondering whether or not he should drop by the theatre to see it. Maybe he should at least see the show once. But the thought of watching it and knowing that his inner self would go crazy remembering the steps in his mind and not be able to do it along with the music troubles him. It would surely feel like torture.

“I have no plans to come back.”

As he sternly replies, San also found the answer to his unspoken question. He was an over thinker, well most of them are. But he was the worst when it comes to worrying and Wooyoung has been reminding him to keep his thoughts organized, just like how he tries for his own self too. The great mountain was a restless being but it was also necessary for him to take one day at a time. Reasonably, San heeds his beloved’s advice.

After the treatment and despite the uncooperating weather, San takes the subway heading for Nambusunhwan-ro. He opens his bag and checks if he still had the letter with him. This thing had been sitting on his hand for some days now. Tonight, he will act on something he had control over. It was probably his best time to close one part of his life and move to another one. His other concerns will have to wait, his worry list will be taken care of one entry line at a time.

Arriving at the theatre, San receives subversive looks. No one expected him to actually show up. The invitation was merely done out of respect. Even though he was feeling really anxious, San puts on a proud expression. He was still Choi San, the Premier Danseur everyone admired.

The world of ballet is also a ruthless circle. In the older and unsparing times, women under the influential Balanchine had to delay being mothers to stay on stage, some do not even end up getting married because of their love for this motion of art. In this same close knit community, people who wait to see you fail also exists. The moment they see the opening to get you out of the game, they take it and completely sack the moment. It was for the same reason that numerous malicious articles followed San saying he might be retiring even before he takes his peak.

San takes the very front seat as people whisper among themselves. On his absence, the theatre company did not even address the rumors. The only news they shared was nothing more that San getting injured and someone else will take over the Swan role. Even his boss, the director was awfully silent over the matter. Like how it usually goes in the ballet scene, the higher commanding force remain quiet when something arises. It’s always easy to get a knew Ballerino that firefight a problem.

The show starts, the acts were as how it was made and choreographed. The music was comely and enticing, San could feel his toes itching to move. The dancers who noticed his attendance could not help but take another look at his direction, most especially those who previously fueled the fire against him.

Swan Lake went on as how he expected it to be, what surprised him more was his own self. His feelings did not fight back like how he thought it would be. There was no suffocating turmoil in his chest and no dry throat to be mindful of. It was like his actuality was already prepared to let go. The show ends, San slowly stands and gracefully offers his applause along with the crowd. The dancers gather around the stage to take in the admiration they worked hard on, the same awe San should have been receiving.

San picks up his crutch and makes his way to the director’s office. He meets the corps at the backstage hallway. He puts on the same crescent moon smile he usually offers, some were innocently glad to see him, while some were wary and guilty receiving San’s warm greeting. Reaching the office, he gently knocks twice before turning the knob.

“Oh! San! It’s great to see you. How are you doing?”

The director welcome’s San into his office with a blinding smile, to which San requites in the same light. But the amicable smile of his boss dissolves as soon as he speaks.

“Good Evening director, I won’t beat around the bush. I’m quitting.”

San places a white envelope in the dark wood table in between which contains his resignation letter.

**\-------**

Like how a newlywed couple who just invested on their first conjugal property, the celebrity power couple had been insisting that their very close friends come over to their new place for a quick festivity. The full-floor and celestially refined penthouse is like a hidden empyrean state. Everyone who has seen this place, which was very few, could not help but wonder on a few things. This kind of property existed in this country? How did you find this place? At what price will it cost you to live on such an ostentatious home? When the couple moved in, it was not just the hefty payment that they were concerned of, they were also careful on how to keep the public’s eye out of their bold move.

The entry to the place goes through a tailor-made door of rosemere, unlacquered brass and gun metal steel which weighs a whopping two hundred pounds and could possibly cost you the price of a decent car. Turning the knob of the striking piece was the equally beautiful Seonghwa.

“Wah! You’re finally here! Come in come in, Hongjoong is just placing the champagne in a bucket.”

The hyung’s eyes light up like the fourth of July upon seeing his closest friends.

“Annyeong Hyung!”

“We brought some pastries and cakes. Not because we wanted you to have it but because San wanted some sweets. And these Blue Salvias and Gillyflowers are more for me so we have some pleasing flora in the dinner table.”

Wooyoung’s jesting statements always had to see the light of day when he is with his Seonghwa hyung. They enter the new home of the very hot and controversial couple. San looks around and could not help his mouth from hanging open at such a marvelous place. Proceeding to the grand salon, Wooyoung who is well accultured to the riches of the world goes to join San being impressed at this luxury penthouse apartment.

“Yah, who’s your broker? This place is unbelievable hyung!”

“We don’t have a broker. We actually bought this place directly from the owner. You’ll meet him later. I invited him.”

Seonghwa puts on a proud and happy grin as Hongjoong joins them for a little tour of the new apartment that had five bedrooms, six and a half baths and a full children’s wing which is now used as Hongjoong’s studio. The vast space of their new home was very much like the personality of the couple. It was free and open. You can feel the delicate touches Seonghwa had over the choice of furniture, as well as the unique charms of Hongjoong on the little bits and pieces of details on the rooms.

“Hongjoong, help me finish setting up the dining room. Wooyoung and San can go ahead and stay over at the den and pick the drinks we’ll have later.”

“Oh Hyung, can we pass off on the alcoholic stuff? I don’t want Wooyoung to feel weird when we drink and he can’t.”

Seonghwa was just about to open the pocket door when San softly interjected, which also got a rebuttal from Wooyoung himself.

“There’s no need for that. You guys can drink as much as you want. I don’t mind. And what the hell Choi San, you gotta give me more credit I’m really doing well!”

“Ok ok.”

Wooyoung’s considerate note escalates to a sulky high pitched one as he hits San on the chest. The Mountain then pulls him in for a sweet and appeasing hug before he whispers into his lover’s ear

“Let’s tell them our news after the meal.”

Dinner was served just a few minutes later and as expected the table was a sprawling elegance of Seonghwa’s table scaping skills. Even Wooyoung’s set of flowers now takes part of the magnificent display. More importantly, the food was looking great.

“He really went extra with this set up.”

“We have some special and very picky guests, so I had to make sure we entertain them well.”

“Of course WooSan is coming, hyung had to make things extra.”

Wooyoung’s mention of WooSan got San looking at him. Taking their seats, the intercom notified them of another visitor.

“Oh. It must be the real special guest I was talking about.”

“I’ll go get it love.”

Hongjoong’s use of the endearment term got them another round of playful banters from the younger ones. They could not help but cringe at the thought of their Seonghwa hyung being in a mushy and lovey dovey relationship. It was always San and Wooyoung who made people feel flustered with their rather very comfortable skinship. And although they love to beat their hyungs in this tough love set up, they could not be more thankful over the feel of getting themselves a sensible father in Hongjoong and a heartwarming mother in Seonghwa. San loves this kind of feel and Wooyoung is just happy seeing his treasured one thriving in such a cushy environment. A minute later, Hongjoong was back alongside another man with angelic white hair and deep brown eyes.

“I’m sorry I’m late. I didn’t want to be here.”

“YAH! KANG YEONGSANG!”

Exclaiming at the same time, San and Wooyoung rushes over to their always-missing-in-action good old friend. Wooyoung slings his arm at the statuesque man who was clothed looking like a skater boy ready to be the next heartbreaker in town. San pries Wooyoung off from Yeosang as he envelopes the man in a tight bear hug.

“Enough of this harassment. You should be thankful I don’t have my bodyguards.”

The only person who can beat Wooyoung in his holier-than-thou attitude has finally arrived. They take their seats as San puts forth a curious question in his cute childlike voice.

“So why don’t you have your guards today? Hmmm?”

“I drove myself today and why would I need them when I’m technically still in my property.”

“Wait. So you mean the building owner you invited was Yeosang?”

Wooyoung looks over Seonghwa in disbelief.

“The real question is, when Seonghwa hyung asked me for help in keeping their move-in very private and confidential, why did they allow you in?”

Yeosang puts on his fierce smirk before cutting the steak and putting it in Wooyoung’s plate as a little apology to his savageness. Only close friends can make fun of other friends in such a manner.

“Is there anyone else coming? Did you invite the other guys too?”

“Mingi and Jongho declined because they were still busy and Yunho has a shoot.”

Hongjoong answers another one of San’s questions. San always wanted the whole pack together. He may be an introvert, but he loves having his close people around.

“That’s a shame, I don’t think Yeosang has already met them.”

“Actually, I know them. Seonghwa hyung introduced them to me before his comeback. The only one I haven’t met is Yunho.”

This modest feast was like a little breather to their own hectic lives. A sanity break to feel recharged and a memento to move forward. After the well-prepared dinner, the stayed over the penthouse’s den for some more intimate huddle time. Hongjoong was at the bar side in charge of making their drinks. They were sipping on their preferred poison, well except for Wooyoung who was holding a cola, and drowning themselves in the talks of their lives. Then San puts momentary break in their laughter. He stands up and raises his glass ever so charmingly.

“I want to make a toast. A toast for Seonghwa hyung and Hongjoong hyung’s new lovenest. May they stay happy and healthy living together. Also, a toast for…”

San takes a pause, looking over Wooyoung’s bright eyes.

“Me and Wooyoung, who is now officially my boyfriend. Thank you for loving me Young-Ah!”

Ending his words with a sugary high smile and eyes curved perfectly, San was joined by Wooyoung in raising the toast.

“I know it took me some while but cheers to us and our hyungs!”

Wooyoung puts on an equally confident smile. And in finally declaring their secret, Hongjoong, Seonghwa and Yeosang’s expression remain the same.

“Well for me I already knew it. I drove Wooyoung to San’s place.”

“I think everyone knows. We already knew it was official after that Instagram post Wooyoung made.”

“What?”

Lover boy was stunned to know it was not much of a secret anymore.

“Were you expecting us to light fireworks? I mean, like your close friends would’ve figured it out.”

“Yeah, Yeosang’s right. Putting a selfie of you two with squished cheeks and a caption saying ‘Finally Us #WooSan’. It was a giveaway. Besides you two were bound to make it official sooner or later. It was just a matter of time.”

Hongjoong’s explanation made San pull another one of his mopish pouts. They were expecting some excited and surprised looks. But there was none. In the silence of the letdown and being the mother of the group, Seonghwa stands up and puts on a forced and overly enthusiastic mood.

“Anyway congratulations!!! Welcome to the couple club!”

The words may have been inordinately done, but San and Wooyoung had no choice but to take it. They settle themselves for their hyung’s tireless warmth. Moving on with more chit chat, catch up and recollection of past moments; the vibe could not get anymore appealingly polished. Wooyoung puts on some [music](https://open.spotify.com/track/5tuCwGlogBgunzUDsTpO3J?si=kF8puM6mQiK2EBIBPWJqHw) using his phone and gestures for San to dance with him. The music he chose was slow and inviting. They move to the open space, swaying freely with the tune. Dancing like this with someone you love the most, it was nothing less than exquisite.

The older couple joins them as Hongjoong offers his open palm to the love of his life. The two pair of lovers move gracefully, in slow motions of harmony, lain close against each other’s hearts. This romantic circumstance could have gone longer if it were not for the sound of the wooded table getting hardly slammed and a shriek of disgust.

“Yah! I didn’t say yes to this invite to watch you act so smoochy before me and be reminded of my singleness. Let alone agree to be the fifth wheel.”

Yeosang immediately laughs after staging his piece. He scurries to them as they welcome him in a circle of accepting arms.

The party ended just right before midnight. Yeosang had swigged some fair amount of alcohol and so he had to call his security and ask to be driven home. Of course, Wooyoung was as sober as he had promised, and San only took few drinks which were immaterial. Wooyoung drives San back to his place first, they sit still in the car for a little more alone time. The sillage of their perfumes linger in the winter air, embedding this same moment. At some point in the future when they stop wearing these scents and suddenly chance upon the same smell, they will feel nostalgic. Memories that have been triggered by the olfactory sense tend to be the ones that hold the most ardent emotional attachment more than any other memory triggers.

“I loved how you called me your boyfriend a while ago. But how about you call me baby?”

Wooyoung’s demand was due to the fact that his hyungs term of endearment was in fact envy worthy. This makes San cutely sniggle.

“No we’re not gonna do that. I want to say your name. Wooyoung.”

San bops his beloved’s nose. He looks him straight into the eyes whilst a bubbling emotion circles in his chest.

“I have something to tell you.”

“What is it Sannie?”

Wooyoung cheerily smiles as San takes his hand and gives a light squeeze. Then, the mountain finally relates the concern he had long been pushing for delay. But not anymore.

“My papers finally came. My visa has been approved. I’m moving to study in New York.”

[𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅘𝅥𝅯](https://open.spotify.com/track/0ElyviAmPCWaumxyMeVIgl?si=QJXHpsr1QSi0-O0y226pow)

**_How do you make it up for the lost moments when they were left unearned?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned. This woosan story is one blizzard after another.   
> Envisioning Seonghwa and Hongjoong home is also very enjoyable.  
> How would you like if there will be a side story to Time of Day?
> 
> Thank you for reading. I do appreciate those who still read up to this point.  
> Please leave some words at the comment section if you feel like it.   
> Thank you. Have a blessed day.


	13. Chapter 13

It was not as if it was the first day of entering the merciless corporate world for him. Wooyoung had been in and out of the company for some projects to be honest. However, today was just like the full on run through of how the actual tedious kind of work he is made to face. Clad in a tailored Gianni Campagna suit, Wooyoung takes on the elevators down at their conglomerate. People make way and do not even join him in the lift. It kinda felt weird for him. He was used to being admired but the looks and attention he was receiving felt too forced, like it was not the kind of awe he loves to get. It was more of fear and mandated respect. But his presence in the office isn’t permanent. He and his dad had agreed that Wooyoung will still take another course, this time something broader for global business, just so he has more guns to run the company in the near future. The very handsome heir had officially been working for his family’s company full time for quite some weeks now.

It was just lunch time but his braincells feel like it had been fried until end of workday. If there ever was an actual end to a workday when you almost technically own the company. Wooyoung’s dad had a separate lunch out with some usual people around his circle, could be an investor, a friend who also has the same status or a high ranking official from a certain agency. Lover boy begged to be left out of this little get together meal. He pulls out his phone but since elevators don’t usually allow phone signals he had to wait to reach the ground floor to be able to send his message across.

> _“Where do I meet you?”_

As soon as it reaches the first level, Wooyoung’s chat signified a checked mark which meant it was received. A second later, it was marked as read. That quick change of message status made him smirk to himself. He was still the heart shaker that he had always been. People’s hearts are easily persuaded with how alluring he is.

He goes out of the lift and into the reception of the building. People greet and bow at the sight of the young heir, who was none the less glowing in such a formal look. Wooyoung looks back at his phone, there was no answer. Inadvertently, at that instant Wooyoung lifts his head and sees the equally bewitching other man. San throws his right arm open, while his left takes hold of the crutch. Wooyoung puts his phone back in his pockets and runs into his treasured one’s arms.

“Have you been waiting here all the time?”

“I got here about half an hour ago.”

San assures his beloved Wooyoung. Some employees have taken notice of them. It’s always a striking feat to see this two together and regarding the fact of drawing attention, it had not failed even once. Like two heavenly bodies destined to be seen together Wooyoung and San do glimmer more lustrous when they are undivided. Although some had probably set their eyes ogling over them because seeing the soon to be CEO in such a frivolous act was somehow unseemly of him.

Wooyoung scans San’s look. He takes notice of how he was also looking formalish in a white dress shirt, black tie with a little fancy pin at the knot and hair brushed up showing a few strands of his platinum white hair at the back.

“Why are you dressed like you’re about to apply as my very hot personal assistant?”

“Oh, yeah. I needed to get some passport sized photos. You know requirements.”

San’s reply had Wooyoung indiscernibly clutching his heart. Some realities are still far too vexing to accommodate.

They move to a close by fast food restaurant to grab some lunch and as expected there were some employees who recognized him. How often is it that you see such an executive dining where the rank and file are? Wooyoung could not care less. He did not have much time to spare as his workday was already restless when it was only midday. But he knew he wanted more time with his Choi San and so he had to compromise with an easy meal.

“Has everyone agreed on our party?”

Enjoying his meaty sandwich, San asks. His mouth still full of food. The scene was just too cute that it made Wooyoung smile before putting out his reply.

“Surprisingly. Everyone said yes to this gathering. I even cornered Yeosang. He said he’ll be there, not because I bothered him but because he’ll be there for you.”

“And we’ll have it at Seonghwa Hyung and Hongjoong Hyung’s flat?”

“No, no. Mingi offered his place. Yunho said Mingi has a very nice home.”

“Awww. I owe Mingi one.”

San adorably quips before extending his hand to wipe off the mustard resting at the other man’s upper lips. The unanticipated deed made Wooyoung’s cheeks be painted in a tint of peach. It was the very first time San had seen his best friend, now boyfriend, blush and it amuses him at a great extent.

“Yah. Are you seriously blushing?”

“Of course not. Why would I blush? You think you can sway me with just that? Pfft.”

Wooyoung unreceptively defends himself as he takes the tissue at his side to wipe his own mouth. The sudden stance made San’s eyes turn into moons. It was really gratifying to finally have this coquette flustered like how he makes the world feel.

“There’s no need to sway you.”

The mountain firmly says, then he goes to whisper something into his lover’s ear.

“You’re already mine.”

San’s level of cheesiness was either barf inducive or just plain old style.

They finish their meal and had to unfortunately part for this day. And since their relationship was not really as open and as out there to the world like the sentimental singer and revered producer, Wooyoung and San had to settle for a little warm hug as they bid bye bye. When they were merely unlabeled, they were already touchy clingy with a little hint of imprudence, but now that they are officially together they can’t put on a show as if it was only good faith because definitely something is already going on between them now.

Even though they meet as often as they could, and as much as Wooyoung’s schedule permits, their message notifications have never rested. Sweet and loving messages are often shared with each other. They talk about plans for spring, more trips, and affirmation of how they feel about each other. Which is now clearer than the skies of a sunny day. Wooyoung sends another message before taking the elevator up to his office.

> _"Flowers didn't ask to be flowers and I didn't ask to be me. - Kurt Vonnegut”_
> 
> _“But I did ask that the world would give you to me.”_

Wooyoung on no account would fail to show his love in his own way and San appreciates it, very much. It takes him a moment before replying to such a poetic line.

> _“Life is the dance. And you are the only partner my heart could ever dance with.”_
> 
> _"Love you Wooyoung. Always.”_

Who would have thought that these two mighty personae would go this mushy over falling in love? What a reality.

**\--------**

_ One Week Ago _

The party ended just right before midnight. Yeosang had swigged some fair amount of alcohol and so he had to call his security and ask to be driven home. Of course, Wooyoung was as sober as he had promised, and San only took few drinks which were immaterial. Wooyoung drives San back to his place first, they sit still in the car for a little more alone time. The sillage of their perfumes linger in the winter air, embedding this same moment. At some point in the future when they stop wearing these scents and suddenly chance upon the same smell, they will feel nostalgic. Memories that have been triggered by the olfactory sense tend to be the ones that hold the most ardent emotional attachment more than any other memory triggers.

“I loved how you called me your boyfriend a while ago. But how about you call me baby?”

Wooyoung’s demand was due to the fact that his hyungs term of endearment was in fact envy worthy. This makes San cutely sniggle.

“No we’re not gonna do that. I want to say your name. Wooyoung. It’s sweeter than any other name.”

San bops his beloved’s nose. He looks him straight into the eyes whilst a bubbling emotion circles in his chest.

“I have something to tell you.”

“What is it Sannie?”

Wooyoung cheerily smiles as San takes his hand and gives a light squeeze. Then, the mountain finally relates the concern he had long been pushing for delay. But not anymore.

“My papers finally came. My visa has been approved. I’m moving to study in New York.”

This disclosure had Wooyoung’s loving smile fading into thin air. Wooyoung retracts his hand which was being held by his San.

“What do you mean?”

“I passed and will take further classes in the New York School of American Ballet, It’s the feeder school to the New York City Ballet. It’s the only way for me to get in and work on bigger dreams.”

“I thought you preferred the pedagogies that the Vaganova School had?”

Such a reply was just Wooyoung way of diverting his actual feelings. It was hard to react on the situation. It was only natural that the first reaction was to feel fear and pain. Being left behind, it was the first thing that resounded in his head. But he was also happy to know that such an opportunity landed in San’s way. Wooyoung looks down, trying to process another actuality in life. Perhaps San knew what Wooyoung was thinking as he began to assure him.

“Nothing would really change between us. I won’t really be gone. I will fly back here as much as I can. We’ll make it work. I will make it work. I promise you that.”

San stretches his hand to tenderly hold Wooyoung’s face, softly caressing his cheeks . He could see that there were already unfallen tears in the other man’s eyes. Wooyoung knew this set up was going to be very challenging but he also knew how San also longed to be with his family. However, he cannot be sure whether the timing was right. Just when they have finally made it, another unexpected blessing has come their way. The skies have sent another approval for San and when the gods send you one, you do not ask why such has been sent. You just take it. Wooyoung releases a heavy sigh before pulling his self together.

“You never told me about this before, why?”

“I didn’t think I’d actually make it or take it. I just gave my resignation in the theatre. I thought being a Ballerino here was enough for me. I thought I was already comfortable with my chances back there. But I guess, it wasn’t.”

Noticing how Wooyoung remains bothered, San decided it was best of him to offer something fair. Something that could make their hearts be retrieved back from the edge.

“If you want, you can have your freedom back. I can give it to you.”

The bid got Wooyoung in a little frenzied state. He sits up and looks back at San.

“No. I don’t need that. Besides, you never took my freedom. We’ve always been free, and we remain that way. It’s just that we decided to be free, with each other.”

His words were definite. Wooyoung places his palm above San’s hand before he proceeds again.

“And we’re going to be together even if we’re apart.”

Wooyoung forces a smile out of his lips as he moves forward, laying down a loving kiss on San’s lips. When we are faced with a troubling picture, we always have an option. We can dwell in the problem and make it more difficult or accept the reality and take what it offers. Wooyoung had definitely learned how to let go of unnecessary and trivial things. Likewise, he had always been a supportive friend and a broader understanding of that love and support is extended to his treasured Choi San.

The great mountain felt relieved upon hearing such acceptance. He had been praying he could keep his dreams as well as his beloved Jung Wooyoung. Knowingly with some compromise.

San kisses back.

“Thank You Young-ah. I love you, always.”

**\-------**

Wearing suits everyday and looking as respectable as he should be, Wooyoung was also kind of missing his laid-back clothes. He is still wearing luxury and designer pieces as usual, only this time they cost more now, given that most of his suits were tailored made in Milan. The hectic days at the office has gotten into Wooyoung’s system. His diligent time in the university is actually paying off. And along with his progressing skills, Wooyoung’s dad had been excited of the possibility of an early retirement. They could just simply take long vacations however they wish and leave the business to their only son.

Sitting comfortably in his designer chair, Wooyoung was on a little sanity break from his work. And when he means sanity break, he meant SANity break. Since they could not meet for lunch, Wooyoung is making sure his presence is felt over their chat. With such, he carefully looks around, checking if anyone can see him. Upon securing that no one is indeed around, he holds still for a selca. With his face in his left hand and a dainty pout, Wooyoung strikes a pose for the camera.

> _*Sends photo*_
> 
> _“Soon to be CEO misses you very much”_
> 
> _“Soon to be world class ballerino misses him too”_

At that moment, Wooyoung’s smart watch has notified him of his next meeting which will be in ten minutes. Like a modern executive, he gathers his Ipad and pen. He was still at the note taking phase, very earnest to take as much learning as possible. He charmingly makes his way into the conference room. Be it his university or the company, people love looking at a parading Jung Wooyoung. Now made dreamier with the thought of being the CEO of a known business chain.

By the end of the table was his dad who was sipping on some warm tea. Wooyoung had been attending more of his dad’s schedule, it was the best way to have him know his father’s ways and make it known to everyone that he is second in line. In the hierarchy of things, there was no doubt about the fact that the young Mr. Jung will soon take over. This thought places the other executives, shareholders, and board members quite alarmed. Wooyoung has not proven anything yet, rumors had gone around that he was good. But such hearsay is merely insignificant until they see an output. 

Wooyoung lightly smiles at his dad before taking the seat beside him. Strangely, the same warmth Wooyoung had just offered was left unrequited. Well, it was true he had to temper himself and be fairly demonstrative of his affection with his dad when they hold office, but there was something unusual about today and how his father was not reciprocating Wooyoung’s actions. It kinda worries him, there must have been some upsetting news about one of the projects to have him like this.

The meeting was about a new property at a dead district that was terribly far from being a center of leisure and entertainment. The older board members opine that the choice was rather risky, there were more projects that could merit an expansion but not this one. And being someone who actually has shares, a good amount of shares to be honest, Wooyoung considers the project for discussion a rather bold move that would actually give the company a huge benefit. He suggests that the other members of the board revisit their decision.

“If we invest in properties on areas that have not been seen as a bustling place for recreational activities and shopping and turn them into centers of leisure. We are actually creating an extended market where our brands and services can be accessed by those in the vicinity. We are getting a better position when we talk about market share. We can decrease the percentage of our competitors by simply growing our own. And the win win situation about this is that we can actually sell these properties after a few years of bringing it back to life. In that way, we actually multiply the invested amount we placed. It’s really a hard project but I do have trust in our brands, it’ll work.”

Wooyoung’s presumptuous suggestion gets mixed reception from the board. His dad had always believed in his visions, most of his previous recommendations had panned out very well. But unpredictably, his dad was not entirely onboard one this one.

“You mean you want to gamble on this project more than the others?”

There was an obvious coldness in his dad’s tone and his movements were all trying not to take notice of Wooyoung’s presence. It was very peculiar to have this kind of air between them. Such has never happened and Wooyoung’s worry grows deeper.

“It’s not a gamble. It’ll be a good investment.”

Wooyoung assures his dad but his viewpoint does not change.

“I don’t think we should close the decision today, we’ll set another meeting to finalize all the projects. Members of the board, for now please take time in analyzing the cases on hand.”

Mr. Jung ends the meeting as he walks back to his office, but not before Wooyoung asking him.

“Appa, are you alright? You seem bothered.”

The loving son quietly asked. His father lightly glances at him before saying his line.

“Be home at dinner time, cancel all your plans. There is something we need to urgently discuss.”

Back at their home, their dinner was set as usual. The table was filled with heartwarming home food by Wooyoung’s mom. And although his anxiety was maturing as the time passes, the young Mr. Jung did not want to open the topic unless his dad himself does it. The wondering grows, it was really unlikely that their mood was not as lively as they are accustomed to. Finishing his last piece of meat and wiping his lips with the embroidered table napkin, Wooyoung’s father finally breaks the eerie silence.

“Is there something you want to tell me?”

“Huh? Me? Nothing in particular that you should be concerned of Appa.”

Wooyoung was confused. What was there to say? He had nothing important to report to him about the company. All seems to be well.

“Well I do. I have something to say. Or perhaps something I’d like to ask.”

Mr. Jung pauses and wreathes his fingers in front of him.

“Are you gay?”

Such unheralded question got Wooyoung’s heart dropping to the ground. Halting on his meal, he slowly places his utensils to the side and fixes himself to sit upright. With his heart feeling as if it was recoiling around his chest, Wooyoung opens his mouth and dignifiedly answered his father.

“Yes Appa. I am gay.”

“And so it’s true. I can’t believe it.”

His father jeers at him with contempt and derision.

“You dated the son of the KHC Firm? And you dumped him? Right? I can’ believe this. I never got any trouble concerning you. But now we have one. And the only time I get a complaint is because you broke someone’s heart and that you’re gay?”

“Appa that was very long ago.”

“BUT THAT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU’RE GAY!”

Mr. Jung raised his voice, furious, dismayed but also verklempt. It was the very first time Wooyoung had been shouted at by his step father. His eyes widen at the horror, his hands fidget in his lap and his heartbeat races like a roaring sports car.

“I gave you a life. Treated you as my own. Only to find out that you’re gay? Do you know how much of a disgrace that will bring to our family?”

His father stands from his chair and points at him in disappointment.

“Appa, I’m sorry.”

“What can your sorry do? I don’t have a filthy gay son. No one will respect you in the corporate world if they find out your gay. Only men can run the company, remember that. GET YOUR ACTS STRAIGHT. BE A MAN. I AM NOT ALLOWING THIS BULLSHIT IN THIS FAMILY. THIS COMPANY CANNOT BE RUN BY SOMEONE GAY.”

Screaming at Wooyoung continuously, his father was deeply upset. He was still among those people who had a rather discouraging notion about nonbinary people. Placing his hand down, he accidentally tips off the wine bottle, it crashes to the floor and breaks into sharp fragments of glass. A piece of it flies off the ground and hits Wooyoung’s cheek, leaving a small cut that was enough to draw blood out. Mr. Jung scoffs in annoyance before walking out of their dining table. Despite being in a state of shock, Wooyoung pleads at his dad.

“Appa. Forgive me. I’m sorry but this is me. Appa. Appa. I’m sorry.”

Even with his cries and falling crystals of tears, his father did not turn back to look at him. Wooyoung drops back to his seat, shaking, vigorless and weak, both in fear and torment. It was then that his mother finally intervened. Rushing to her son’s side, she wipes her son’s tears and gently brushes the blood out of his face.

“Eomma Mianhe.”

He was feeling tired. His life is beginning to run meaningless as more unfortunate episodes rush into him again. Only this time he had reasons not to wish for a sudden stop. Why does life like to give us mutinous times? Why do they never cease? Wooyoung clings onto his mom. Holding her tight as he bellows in pain, tears flowing like a tumultuous river.

[𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮](https://open.spotify.com/track/5xJAHDTRwB9kIzr1PtRsYq?si=RCWHksOgSteQ7w63EAzk9g)

**_You can build your life to the likeness of others but still disappoint them by simply being who you are._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you're still in for this tiring ride.  
> Well we still have some more things to have for the last two chapters.  
> When I was building their characters I wanted something that people could relate to in a day to day kind of feel.  
> Dreams. Determination. Friendship. Fear. Uncertainty. Things that hold us back, be it big or small. We all have our reasons.  
> Anyway. Thank you for reading. Super appreciate it.  
> Have a blessed day.


	14. Chapter 14

The snow fall had slowly decreased, and the weather had gone steady on its acceptable low numbers. It seems like the cold winter season is about to cease sooner than expected. Despite the almost changing condition, some hearts had remained assiduous. With the time ticking and the snowballing desire to make the most out of everything, Wooyoung was far from taking things lie-low. Well probably somehow, at least for one he had taken some extra precaution to protect themselves from everyone’s prying eyes. It was not just him who is sort of in the limelight. San was also under watchful eyes.

With the news of San quitting the theatre being released to the public, some of his fans have taken over the comments section of news articles and even his social media accounts. Some have speculated that he was certainly under some hidden scandal, some have thought his injury had left him incapacitated from returning to the stage and some people were just down leaving hateful words that bears no reason. To hate someone without a well-grounded cause and offer them repulsive thoughts should be considered a mortal sin.

It was a good Friday night and Wooyoung was on a little ‘taking-his-time-off-work’ mode. Aside from their need to discuss the recent situation that arose, today was also luckily their scheduled date. And with a careful and strategic choice their very private set up is over one of their friend’s another exclusive restaurant. By this time, it is a given fact that Yeosang is everyone’s rescuer.

Walking to the front door and feeling a little cold, Wooyoung playfully sticks his hand inside San’s coat. This kind of skinship and sweet nothings were the ones that make his heart flutter. But to his dismay, San takes it out. Not because he did not want to hold hands inside his winter coat, but because he is very much aware of the public more than ever. He also knew how Wooyoung is treading on thin ice right even at this moment. After his father’s outpouring anger, they understood that there were some things they needed to concede.

They dine at a private room, which to their surprise already had pre-ordered meals and was beautifully decked with an array of fresh flowers. The banquet was lavish, and the flowers were nothing less than upscale. The attendant hands a note to San and says it was from the owner. Wooyoung blithely walks to his side as they open the little envelope.

> _“It’s the least I could do to one of my most favorite pairs_
> 
> _\- Y_
> 
> _P.S the cctvs are off but don’t do anything lascivious, I beg you._

It was always said among them that having their angelic looking friend with an attitude that contrasts his face was a heaven-sent premium life prize. There was nothing Yeosang cannot do or cannot control, well except for cooking eggs.

Sitting on fine furniture and walls plastered with paintings that could actually end up in a museum, San and Wooyoung sit close beside each other.

“So did your father say anything else since then?”

San nervously asks. He takes his champagne and sips on it, hoping the unpleasant butterflies in his stomach would leave him be.

“Well, we haven’t talked since then. I’m planning to speak to him again about it really soon. He’s a good man and a loving father. Appa had never once made me feel like I was not his own child. I’m hoping he’ll understand. I don’t wanna lose him over this because he also means the world to me.”

Wooyoung’s wishful sigh was telling otherwise. His love for his family is also immeasurable, unlike his favorite season his affection was like a summer day, warm and deep. But to hope for an easy resolve was not easy given they never had an issue about him, there was no point of comparison on how this will further unveil. It’s all just mere hope for now.

Discussing the matter that is challenging their newly founded relationship, San was keeping things positive. It was his nature to be sure, he had always been the believer of good things. Wooyoung on the other hand was more worried because this issue can ruin so many things. Thankfully, he was not the same Wooyoung that backs out when things get complicated. To have the things you love, he knew he had to be brave. In the midst of their talk, San puts out another crucial question.

“Do they already know about us?”

“No. All they know is that their son isn’t entirely the kid they thought of. And they won’t really suspect you. For all I know they think you’re dating one of the models you met.”

Wooyoung’s tone sounded a bit dismayed but his answer sent a tide of relief to the other man’s being. San had been worrying ever since Wooyoung mentioned it over the phone. He undeniably loves Wooyoung and had always made numerous adjustments for him all throughout their lives. The issue at hand is just another one on his list that he was willing to carry on, for his beloved, for them. There was no turning back on what they have now. Nothing should ever shake them now, not even the lurking distance that was bound to greet them in a few weeks. With such, it was decided that they were going to keep everything a secret for now and for a longer period of time. Only their closest friends would know of their relationship.

“I’m really sorry about this San.”

Wooyoung apologizes. He was aware of how much San wanted to be as transparent as possible. His family had always been supportive of how he identifies himself; it was only on Wooyoung’s side that had estopped them from being fully open about what they are. But the mountain was more than willing to accept this compromise and the lover boy was willing to make amends to keep their state as how he prayed it to be.

“By the way did you remind the guys again of the party tomorrow?”

San casually diverts the topic to something that would bring them excitement and joy, his send-off party.

“Oh yeah, let me send a message in the group chat now.”

> _“Don’t forget to be at Mingi’s place at five for our Valentine’s Slumber party! And be on your best Pajama Wear!”_
> 
> _*Yeosang_
> 
> _“Wait what? Pajama Party? What are we? Seven?”_
> 
> _“Don’t play like you hate it. I know more than anyone else here, you’re the one who loves sleeping in fancy pajama sets.”_
> 
> _*Mingi_
> 
> _“Sorry, I was the one who suggested this. I just didn’t want another cool looking party.”_
> 
> _*Hongjoong_
> 
> _“Seonghwa has spent the whole day fitting his new pajamas. He might cry if we cancel this theme.”_
> 
> _*Yeosang_
> 
> _“Fine. I might arrive a little bit late. I can’t believe I’m spending Valentine’s with my friends instead of a special someone. This is so lame.”_
> 
> _“Don’t pretend like you have someone special.”_
> 
> _*Seonghwa_
> 
> _“I also bought Hongjoong some cute sets too XD.”_
> 
> _*Yunho_
> 
> _“Wow, I didn’t prepare anything :’(“_
> 
> _“You can be in your Tom F underwear and think of it as a photoshoot. I promise we won’t mind XD”_
> 
> _*Jongho_
> 
> _*Seen_

Wooyoung places his phone down in their table as they continue with their meal. He was actually looking forward to spending another gathering with their pack. They were the only people that would never judge them for who and what they are. And as mentioned before, Friends are gifts we personally choose for ourselves. San and Wooyoung are grateful to have received so many presents.

**\--------**

“Yah! Are you sure we got the correct address? I thought he lives by himself?”

San asks, suspicious whether Wooyoung had correctly calculated the route to Mingi’s home. Loverboy pulls out his phone, copies the address in their group chat and carefully keys it in the naver map.

“Yeah. We’re right where the address is.”

Arriving at the Sangam-dong area, matchingly dressed and ready for bedtime, Wooyoung and San were skeptical in ringing the doorbell. Just when they thought the Jung’s family home and the Matz’s Penthouse apartment was as monumental as things could actually get, Mingi’s flat was a colossal glass kingdom that overlooks the Han River. Wooyoung pushes the intercom, and by good fortune it was their tall and slender friend who answered, the gates open and they walk up to an almost modern glass chateau fit for the Bel-Air overtone.

“San-ah! Wooyoung-ah! Come in come in! Yunho is just at the kitchen tampering with the food.”

Draped in baroque bathrobe in the well-known black and gold hue, Mingi greets them with a full happy grin. The couple hug him enthusiastically and being who he is, Wooyoung was overly swaying Mingi side to side out of joy. They move into the house and sees Yunho by the kitchen island actively checking the food. The golden retriever was also in the same bathrobe Mingi wears, but his was in the classy white and gold color way. San scoots to his side as he pressures his tower like friend to let him taste the scrumptious pieces. Soon after two doorbell rings follow, Seonghwa and Hongjoong arrives, followed by their maknae, Jongho.

The owner of the dreamy house had already informed them beforehand that he had only purchased a few drinks for them. With such, Hongjoong and Jongho moves the drinks they have brought into the bar at the lower floor. Seonghwa and Yunho take on the dining table, of course the oldest had to show off his aesthetic skills and Yunho had to make sure the food was to his liking. While Mingi, San and Wooyoung employ themselves in opening all the glass stacking doors that presents them the bird's-eye view of the river only to close them after a while as they realize the winter weather is still far from ceasing.

Who would have thought that such a bachelor like Mingi lives by himself in a huge glass house that could surely house a large family?

Moving on to the formal dining room, Jongho asks a question.

“Is everyone already here? Or are we waiting for anyone?”

“Yeosang will arrive late. As usual. We can start dinner while we wait for him.”

Wooyoung gives a response before pulling their youngest into the wooden table to take his seat. To spend time with the people that matter the most to you is a blessing not all are endowed with. Not everyone finds their circle, not everyone gets to make lasting memories with them and not everyone acquires friends who are willing to care for and love you for who you are. So when you find your tribe, love it and cherish it more than any material things you have ever owned.

The dinner had already started for quite some time before the resounding ring of the last doorbell they were expecting chimes in. This time, it was Yunho who fetched the guest at the door.

“Sorry I’m late. I never wanted to be here.”

Adorned in clothes that was more of a traditional wear than a pajama set, Yeosang pulls off his usual line. Upon hearing such words, the man of the night sitting right beside the host can be seen pouting.

“Yeah! I thought you came here for me?”

San articulates in another sweet childish tone of his. Speeding up to his side, Yeosang gives him a tiny hug.

“I was just kidding. Sorry I was in Busan. Mingi said I couldn’t land a helicopter here, so I had to do it on a nearby building and drive myself here.”

“You’re back to driving?”

Jongho keenly asked. Yeosang shot his eyes at him.

“I have always been driving for myself and I don’t need my security all the time.”

“So, you don’t have anyone with you at the moment?”

Mingi spouts another curious question.

“Some are within the vicinity, but they rode a different car because I was on my two-seater vehicle. Enough of the questions, this is San’s party!”

They proceed with their sumptuous banquet and it was finally the first time that all eight of them were gathered together. San looks around their group who were obviously all-in good spirits. He smiles silently to himself, some dreams costs more than just an undauntable leap. San lightly places his hand on his chest, as if he was holding his feelings intact. Pursuing bigger goals had led him to leave all these loving people in the country he grew up on. The same reason he wanted to stay before. But to be what he had always wanted to be and spend time with his family, San also wanted to prioritize himself. It was definitely not an easy choice; it was also an arduous resort for him. Let alone suffer being away from his beloved one.

At the thought of Wooyoung, he looks around, but he was not anywhere near the table. San moves to tap his Hyung’s shoulder to ask.

“Hyung, where did Wooyoung go?”

“Oh. Yunho and Wooyoung just went over the outside kitchen I think.”

At that moment, the dining table was almost cleared with their food. Mingi then leads them to move into the lower floor of the house and into the bar which had the wine cellar. And as he had declared the cellar has never been used and was terribly plain empty. Yunho and Wooyoung joins them back into the seating area of the bar.

“Yunho-yah! Help me with the stacking doors!”

Mingi calls his giant twin in a thoughtful manner to help him open the view. But this time they only opened one door, just to let a little snowy breeze in. Anyway the fireplace counters the open door. If Wooyoung’s home was a romantic getaway and the Matz’s place had a classy and elegant rich family aura, Mingi’s property was all about modern, free and open space of a tranquil environment. Jongho takes out a bottle from the fridge and realizes that there were at least a few numbers of Domaine Leroy Musigny Grand Cru that were left chilled. He noted how these were not among those they brought. Perhaps it was Mingi who got them, for a nondrinker he sure did make some daylight robbery kind of buys, just for today.

They chatter comfortably among themselves, play silly antics over each other and make a little forum about stories they wanted to impart. Hongjoong and Seonghwa eagerly shared their plans about taking another long vacation together, to which Wooyoung rallies in with his friendly bullying. According to him, this vacation is another vanilla honeymoon trip. Seonghwa retaliates on how he is certainly very thankful he dodged a bullet with Wooyoung. The comment made everyone roar in laughter. Since when did the Mat Hyung learn to crack back? With such Wooyoung launches himself to tackle his most favorite older brother.

On another note, Yeosang also proclaims that he will finally be making one of his dreams come true. He says he had bought a chain of chicken restaurants. He hopes that people will soon address him as the father of all fried chicken. For someone with such a reach, his wishes were fairly simple. As their angelic friend revel in his world of dreams, they hear a taunting Wooyoung sitting on the side of the leather couch.

“There’s this girl who always reacts on my stories. Like gurl please stop. I’m gay. I won’t pay attention to you. Stop”

Wooyoung stretches his hand as he exclaims in annoyance. Blazing to his lap were the double towers, whose face was already aggressively glued to the loverboy’s phone. Mingi softly squints his eyes to take a closer look, then he backs away.

“Isn’t that the girl you mentioned who gave you a non-fat latte in the library?”

With puppy like eyes, Yunho raises his head to look at his friend.

“Wow, this girl never changed.”

“You know her Mingi?”

“She’s my ex-girlfriend.”

“Your what?”

“Just don’t entertain that woman. She’s sort of ... Just don’t mind her.”

Hearing a lovely tune out of nowhere, they suddenly drop the topic. All seven heads turn to the left-hand corner of the open space where Hongjoong had taken notice of the grand piano. The sight of such makes his lovely partner put on a huge Cheshire awkward smile. The prominent producer nimbly moves his fingers to play ‘[Twilight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ap0HZ7hrDko)’.

The melody made everyone pause and enjoy the serene moment. As the lovely music resounds in his ear, it also sparked something in Wooyoung’s heart. A reality he was pushing at the back of his mind, San moving to the United States. He cannot imagine how his days would feel like if his treasured one was away. And this was not just some sort of a vacation, San is building his new life in New York. Although, flying in and out is not a monetary issue for them but still it will not be as how they spend time before. How will the future be like when their lives will be set up in different parts of the world? How?

Without much thought, Wooyoung settles his palm above San’s arm. Who at that moment was playing ‘He loves me, he loves me not’ over a stem of white rose. He was at the last petal and it somehow ended with the ‘He loves me not’ answer. Loverboy’s senses turn full awake as he grabs the vase at the center table and hands it to San.

“That can’t be right. Try again until it ends with the other choice.”

Wooyoung’s little joke was both a little funny and a little sweet that it made San pluck the crescent moon and display them in his eyes. Soon after, Hongjoong’s piano piece comes to an end. Seonghwa quickly rises from his seat, steals the vase from San and hands it to the love of his life along with a proud hug. The scene made the others overreact with a gawk as if it were some recital or some awards show and Seonghwa looked like a proud mom.

“To our great mountain, Choi San. May he soon rise to be the world’s best Ballerino.”

Hongjoong raises his glass for a toast and the rest mirror his kind gesture. They gather in a circle and cheerfully clink their glasses together.

“To Choi San”

“To Mountain.”

“To the love of my life.”

Wooyoung unequivocally says, staring at his Choi San with a musing look. His heart was about to pine if it were not for Yeosang’s remarks.

“Yah Hyung! Where did your abs go? OMG. Hongjoong hyung did you get Seonghwa hyung pregnant?”

Seonghwa had raised his glass way too high that it had exposed his torso which is now devoid of the magnificent bars. Surely, the blonde man had to make a fuss out of it. Savage was probably Yeosang’s english name.

**\--------**

Moments flow, days pass and nights go on. If only maybe, we can make believe that time is just an illusion and that reality is merely a dream, then perhaps yearning hearts can cease their restless plight. To dwell on the memories of yesterday and simply wish for it to happen again is a treacherous outlook no one should tread upon. But history already played its part. The present is moving so we can reach the future. Winter came but such a cold season only made their incandescent fascination remain untarnished.

Despite still being in the official winter season, it was rather sunny on the day of parting. But unlike Adonis and Aphrodite this parting was not lifelong, no bleeding foot, no new red rose. It may have made their fortune and the coming times complicated, but it was okay, for now. For someone who is willing to leave it all over the one he loves and for someone who bears the challenge of the world just to be where his heart finds peace, there will be ways. 

Leaning on the door of his car at the open parking of the airport with his hands inside his coat pockets, Wooyoung unhurriedly looks up to the sky. He breathes out a lungful sigh as he flicks his front hair to the back. Nothing is bound to change but he cannot help but feel the anxiety pirouetting in his chest. If San had patiently waited for him in those long toilsome years, he could also do the same. His waiting cannot even compare to how his treasured one had to surmount. Another plane takes off and finally Wooyoung lifts his foot back to the car. Opening the door with his phone, sliding in his seat, and placing his hands in the steering wheel; he talks to himself.

“Amicus ad aras. Always.”

**_When life gives you one blizzard to another, do you think Spring will surely come after Winter?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank You for reading we are almost at the end!  
> I'm really gonna miss writing and updating Winter Yield. I had fun doing this.  
> Again my thank you for reading Winter Yield.  
> Have a blessed day.


	15. Chapter 15

New York was truly the City of Dreams. The businesses in this city offers a very promising career to graduates given that all industries offer world class internship here. Moreover, the city is a good nesting ground for artists as it boasts a supreme admission to the arts community. Along with the notion of this city as a providential area to attain lifelong wishes, it is also hailed to be the city that never sleeps. Dreams do not come into reality overnight, with ambitious dreams come hard work, discipline, and determination. The adamantine Choi San was well aware of that.

The great mountain had already finished his treatments to which he continued in the states. It was earlier established that his injury had greatly responded to all the sessions he took. Thus, his assumed time of recovery had also been decreased. With such, he had already started his sort of refresher courses in Ballet. And just like usual, he arrives earlier than needed in the studio. San is a highly motivated dancer; he was a critically eager artist, but he had also learned to take his time. His stretches and practices were just right for a recovering Ballerino.

The feel of the canvas slippers, the fit of the black tights, a white tank top and his reflection in the mirror; it makes his heart unstable with anticipation. This is where his core belongs to, dancing. Ballet is a happy and prominent part of his life, and he plans to continue this for as long as he could. Feeling the vibe, San looks at himself over the mirrored walls. His physique was still as admirable as it had always been. His deltoids were still a feast and the splendid V body shape created by his waist remains insane.

But he knew there was something missing at what he sees. A pair of lovely hands that would rightfully envelope and secure him by his torso, a warm being that would gently sway him side to side as they stay a little while in a snuggly hold. That beloved presence he had long fought for, it was nowhere near him now. His mind further dives back to that time he brought Wooyoung over the ballet studio to ask for a fresh pair of eyes to look and judge his routine.

Surprisingly, Wooyoung still had that artist feel that just took a slumber in him. He still knew how a dance should be like, how it should feel and how it would look well. His comments were not general, they were detailed and really helpful. Wooyoung was not just the charming trainee back in their teenage years, the loverboy was also certainly endowed with talent. After that invite into the studio Wooyoung mentioned how he would never want to step into a room full of mirrors again. And if San ever asks him for his opinion over dance, he will surely decline. This was because the training area makes him question how it would have been if they pursued that different path. Quitting was not really his intention back then, but there were things he needed to do and sacrifice. Dreams that needed a compromise.

The day at the city progressed smoothly with training and a therapy consultation. San was well, he was adapting quite impressively on his new environment and new life. After his schedule, the treasured Ballerino walks along Central Park. The weather was getting warmer, although the trees and the area still look a bit lifeless. San knew Spring was just around the corner and ready to peak right into the scene. Just a little more time and the park will be alive and green again.

He walks toward the open space and wanted to rest for a while in the ground. Unfortunately, he can’t soil his clothes as he still has a quick errand to attend to. Instead of sitting on the hibernating grass, he leans on a tree. How long had it been since he left his homeland to pursue bigger dreams? He thinks to himself, knowing he was also missing everyone back there, his newly formed pack of friends and Wooyoung, his Wooyoung. If he were not busy going around and organizing his new life here, his heart would have surely pined relentlessly over them.

As he takes his time to face his feelings, a light buzz echoes from his phone. It was his mom.

> _“San, don’t be late okay?”_

He was finally, thankfully with his family, and it feels so right and doting to feel at home with your parents, who were also growing and getting older by the time. Such warm thoughts turn San’s lips brightly curved upward as his eyes turn into charming crescent moons.

**\--------**

Lesser snowfall, higher temperature, and the sight of early blooming flowers, it could be a week from now before the trees down at Seocho Lake and Yeuido Park go into blooming mode. As much as they stand in awe for the compelling winter and the snow activities they truly enjoy, both San and Wooyoung also loved the idea of sweeping theme parks during the lovely springtime. The breeze of such an early season coupled with pink petals gently flowing into the air, both of them relish on this fleeting moment. Just like snow, Cherry blossoms come into view but they never remain long. Beauty and perfection has always been a volatile substance. But memories of such? They go beyond.

> **_*Kakao sound*_ **
> 
> _“Did you get any updates?”_
> 
> _“Hey!”_
> 
> _“Yah! Jung Wooyoung!!!!”_
> 
> _“Calm the fuck down Yeosang. You’ve been asking every five damn minutes. “_
> 
> _“Aren’t you supposed to be busy?”_
> 
> _“I can’t concentrate.”_
> 
> _“Plus, I wanna know if you’ll be treating me with chicken.”_
> 
> _“You literally own chicken restaurants. Why would you ask it from me.”_
> 
> _“Ok then. How about a new Porsche?”_
> 
> _“I can’t believe you.”_

Wooyoung puts his phone back into the front pocket of his trousers then he looks into the huge window. The view over the high story building was that of a resting field ready to charge in and display its blossoming beauty. Along with the smell of coffee and freshly printed papers, Wooyoung’s mind dazes off and induces some nostalgic fondness.

When they were younger, Wooyoung would always demand that they pass by Lotte World. Despite the fact that it was the closest themed park to his home, the place also had an indoor ice-skating rink. This allows Wooyoung to extend the winter feels over the budding season, should he wish to. They would always go for the fun rides but never the horror themed ones because he was very verbose about his dislike for anything scary. There were a lot of times that San tried getting him into one. But even with the assurance of him holding his beloved all throughout the ride, it was still a futile rally. The loverboy’s careful treatment over his fears was indeed a part of him. In many ways, his worries had held him back.

However, for the past year, Wooyoung had taken tremendous risks and made brave faith leaps. As argued before, he is not the same very apprehensive Jung Wooyoung he once was. Knowing that, maybe one day he will decide to face his fear of scary things as well. Maybe, just maybe.

Looking back on some pre-spring festivities he shared with his treasured one, Wooyoung lightly loosens his dark tie. How long has it been since San left? His mind asks him the same question for the nth time. If it were not for his busy schedules which was meant to fast track everything he needed to accomplish before he takes on a new agenda, his mind would have been stuck circling and thinking about San.

This was the very first time they have been apart this long, the unversed way of living without each other was like taking Jongho’s kind of Americano. It was way too bitter. And the winsome Wooyoung was not used to having a rather distasteful day. Ever since San came to his life, he felt like he was a bright sunflower that was always facing his own kind of sun, his Choi San. There was a clearer path, he was always placed where he needs to be and even when he was going through some emotional confusion it was San who managed to set things straight.

There were definitely a lot of things the great mountain had set for him. Of course, he was deeply grateful for that. And Wooyoung wanted nothing more than to repay him for every single kindness, affection, and warmth he received. Also, well yes, live together again. It was obvious how they adore being in each other’s company. And even on those frustrating phases when they know they loved each other but could not bring to tell the truth, they were still evidently madly in love. As a certain song says:

> _‘when they say you and what army, I guess they are talking about you and me.’_

The ‘us against the world’ was something they would daringly face. That was how their youth built them. But they are grown-ups now, adults with responsibilities and a future to assure.

I guess we really do miss it more, the things we use to have when they are no longer here. Or perhaps time has always been uncooperative and good moments are just relatively short-lived.

With a lot of things on his mind and a few more items to work on, Wooyoung gently sits by his office chair. He quickly opens his e-mail and sifts his way through dozens of them. There was a very important e-mail that he was desperately waiting for. He was sure he will be getting it today, but the content of that email was what he was most concerned of. One line after another and just as he was getting a little annoyed, a new mail comes in. Bearing huge foreboding fonts, Wooyoung moves his cursor to it.

“Director Jung, your father is already at the conference room.”

His secretary calls him through the intercom. With such, Wooyoung stands, picks up his ipad and hesitantly treads for the door. For now, he needs to delay reading the valuable e-mail. Well, some things can plausibly wait right?

**\--------**

> _“San, don’t be late okay?”_

He was finally, thankfully with his family, and it feels so right and doting to feel at home with your parents. Such warm thoughts turn San’s lips brightly curved upward as his eyes turn into charming crescent moons.

> _“Sorry to keep you waiting eomma. I’ll be there at the airport in a bit.”_

San gets up and quickly hails for a cab. His parents have a little business trip to Canada and for some reason his parents had requested him to see them off at the airport. Running into the departure area, he sees his parents, holding on their luggage with a sweet smile on their face.

“Yah, what took you so long? We’ve been waiting!”

His father was somehow displeased but still sounded quite fond and excited.

“Sorry I got sidetracked Appa. This is very weird of you to ask me to see you off to your Business Trip. You didn’t even want me at the airport when you left South Korea.”

“Actually San, I have a favor to ask. We need to board now and a good friend of ours is arriving here. Can you pick him up and take him to his hotel?”

His mother’s request made San laugh. He was not really needed here. The great mountain had resumed his place as his parent’s loyal butler. And for some reason his heart feels happy over such an idea. The act of doing things for your family is something we’d all like to do now more than ever before things run late.

“How do I know who he is?”

“You’ll know. He knows you.”

With such, San’s mother raises her hand to lightly pat his adoring Son’s cheeks before kissing it for a little goodbye. His father also gives him a little hug before they turn for the immigration counter. San walks back into the arrival area, not knowing who to expect among all the friends his parents have.

An hour had passed since the actual arrival time the family friend was expected to come. San had already taken shield and rest at the closest set of waiting chairs. And because he was up early for some training, he had fallen asleep with his phone in his hand. His sleep was not too long but it was somehow deep that he did not notice how his phone had already fallen to the ground. San’s senses slowly surge back into his being as he hears a dulcet voice.

“You dropped your phone.”

San hears a man voice. He childishly rubs his eyes with the back of his fingers, trying to push them open.

“You shouldn’t be sleeping here.”

The man warmly says again. It was then that San finally sits upright and was able to fully force his eyes awake.

“Why are you sleeping here? Did you have a tiring day?”

A platinum blonde haired man dressed in tri-color black white and cyan sweater says to San and in a very sweet tone. The Ballerino looks up into the person speaking. Holding on to a stash of yellow blooms, the man took two steps backward as if to allow the great mountain to get a full view. San takes a moment of silence to understand the situation.

“Did you miss me?”

That voice, that same voice that had managed to keep him grounded and crazy at the same time. The owner of that familiar voice was here.

“Wooyoung? Young-ah?!”

San exclaims, his words came off sounding in between disbelief and affluence. Spontaneously, at that moment Wooyoung removes his dark sunglasses and raises his arms open. San quickly stands up and runs into his beloved’s unguarded arms. Immediately, the scent of Bleu de Chanel and Cruel Intentions meeting again bring in an outpouring feeling of comfort. The sense of olfaction takes the stage as it resurfaces the memories they encapsulated in the past, the good, the bad, all memories of them which led them to this moment.

It was always San who calls Wooyoung to come in for a hug and there was even a time he felt that this same affection was left unreciprocated. What he did not know was, for the other man it was his way of showing his endearment. That Wooyoung would always give in for San, for a hug and for love.

“Why are you here?

“Can’t I? Well, you’ve moved your mountain so many times for me. Now I want you to stay still and let me [come to you.](https://open.spotify.com/track/5z7FvHubARiG0GJTKLOcaA?si=w3LfEiTmQnuuAFDv00zE-g)”

Wooyoung replies and hands his treasured one the bouquet, along with a white business envelope. Even though he was confused, San swiftly takes the items from Wooyoung’s hand and impatiently opens it. His eyes scan the letter.

“Is this real? Really? You got accepted to Columbia University?”

San’s eyes were bright like the stars. Wooyoung lightly nods with a contented shy smile. The great mountain lurches in for another feverish embrace.

“It wasn’t an easy choice, nor was it an easy process for me.”

Wooyoung calmly says. They take a seat back into the waiting chairs as they discuss some matters. He further goes to explain that Yeosang helped him on this one, the submission dates were nearing the end and Wooyoung needed more time to secure everything. Thankfully, his papers were accepted, and he had to take a quick trip for an interview here in New York. Such trip was kept a secret from San, and it was a hard one given Wooyoung wanted to drop by and see his treasured boyfriend. But time was an issue, and he could not really bring to tell San all his hopes because he didn’t want to get his spirits up and let them all down if he fails. He also mentioned how he contacted San’s mom to tell of his arrival.

“What about your father? Does he already know about us?”

“No. Not yet. But we did come to an agreement. He says I can be whatever I want but I need to prove myself first.”

Wooyoung’s father is more than just an old rich billionaire, his father also has a heart. Wooyoung might not have come from his own flesh and blood but he was formed and shaped from his love. Loving parents never turn their backs from their children, no matter what. Because perhaps a little negotiation is all we need.

“I know that in the course of our life together, it really took me a while to get it all together. But now I choose to compromise. I’m not that late to show you how much you mean to me right? Right? I mean I know this isn’t a resolving answer to everything. My program will only run for some time. But I’ll take what I can get to be with you for now.”

The seriousness in Wooyoung’s words, many things have indeed happened, and this maturity has come as a gift to both of them. San’s eyes and lips could not hide the bliss that was flowing from his heart and into the stream of his body. He could not help but lean in for a quick but reassuring kiss.

“Thank you Young-ah”

“Should I make things even better? Check the bouquet.”

The instruction Wooyoung released just got San back to his puzzled state. He lifts the stash of flowers to look through the handle. Something was on it. The impressive and romantic loverboy of the day pulls them out from the bouquet.

“The future is still a long way to go. For now, we make amends with what we can have.”

Saying each word with apparent nervousness, Wooyoung gracefully bends one knee. He pauses for a moment, takes a deep breath before continuing his words.

“We still have a lot to figure out and I’m not asking that we do this as soon as possible, but can you just hold steady that heart and your life only for me? Please?”

Wooyoung runs his fingers in his hair before opening the tiny box in his hand.

“Choi San will you please marry me?”

Offering his heart, his life and a De Beers ‘The Promise Band’ in white gold, Wooyoung pleads for San to accept him and hopefully extend his heart back.

“You thought I don’t know much about flowers?”

San plucks a stem from the flowers he received and hands it forth to Wooyoung.

“This is an Ambrosia, which stands for reciprocated love. Wooyoung, let’s get married.”

As if San’s smile could not get any wider, his dimples go deeper along with his joy. Wooyoung slips the promise band into San’s ring finger which was a perfect fit. Then he takes the stem San had used proposed with. They look at each other for a brief moment, savoring this god given day. San pulls his Wooyoung close and into his arms.

Redamancy. The act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.

Both San and Wooyoung had gone on a lot of challenges. Nothing was easy, but such obstacles had strengthened their character and their relationship with each other. Maybe that is how life is. It’s one blizzard after the other, you just got to be resilient and withstand it all.

San slowly tilts his head to the side as they share a longer and deeper kiss. Some passing people stare at them, while some could not be bothered at this sight. I mean love is love and it should be normal to display and celebrate it.

“This is mine, because Choi San is mine. Choi san is my boyfriend, my lover, my one true love, my soulmate.”

“And you’re also mine. All mine. Jung Wooyoung is mine.”

“A friend as far as to the altars.”

“A friend as far as to the altars, always.”

Wooyoung pulls his luggage cart and San helps him with his numerous suitcases. They walk off into the exit as Wooyoung faintly suggests that on their wedding day he wants both of them to have the matching Rose Suits on the 2019 Fall Winter Alexander Mcqueen collection and San just simply laughs off the unbelievable requests of his now beloved fiancé.

And just like how Winter yields for the arrival of spring. A withering flower probably somehow, somewhere leaves a little seed into the ground. Which shall also bloom on a fortunate time.

“You know what, the suite I booked at the hotel has a good bath tub. Let’s use it well.”

Wooyoung winks and San recognizes something, Wooyoung’s eyes were finally glimmering in light.

**Winter Yield.**

[ **♬♫♪** ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/00wfCOeygBn4cEc3EltHCL?si=k30ROjbjTvuFGmF1SERKFw)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG. I can't believe I'm saying good bye to winter yield. :'(  
> I had so much fun writing this. Also thank you if you are here with me in the end.  
> When I was writing the storyline of this fic, I wanted something some details and concepts that people could closely relate to.  
> Such as family, friendship, fear, dreams, ambitions and life in itself. That life throws us numerous things because the higher beings know we can overcome them.  
> Life is indeed one blizzard after another, just like how 2020 was. Many things ravaged such unfortunate year. If you've managed to be here at this point of time, give yourself a pat.  
> You did well. And hang in there a bit more. Winter always yields for the arrival of spring.
> 
> Again my heartfelt thank you for giving this piece some of your precious time. I appreciate it. Please leave some words at the comment section. I wanna know which part you liked. Hihi for reference.  
> Also if you'd like to have for details over how the newly found friendsip have progressed after the meeting in the Cafe. You might want to check my next fic which hopefully will be up by end of Winter or just at early spring. The YunGi pair will now take the spotlight with "Perpendicular Instants".
> 
> This is your fangirl friend LM1837 signing off for Winter Yield. Have a blessed day. ^_^


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